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Olga Santiago said raising four of her grandkids has led to an odd dynamic: Her daughter comes to visit her own children.
"I thought that I'd be the grandmother visiting the kids," she said. "I thought I'd be the one saying (to the children), 'You need to go back with grandmother,' " she said, "I'd be visiting once a week instead of dedicating myself to buying diapers," she said, allowing a brief laugh. "Not feeding them."
I'm not buying the BS that the economy is responsible for this crap.
I agree. Lazy headline writing. I remember seeing stories like this in the '90s when the economy was roaring. It's just dysfunctional parents not being able to handle the responsibility and then the grandparents having or volunteering to step up and take on the parental role again.
Friends of our have had their grandkids up to six months at time, finally insisting their daughter make arrangements to have them with her. Each time, the daughter's reason for leaving the kids off is that she needs time to get settled in a new job, new house, new husband....
I live with my 21 year old daughter and her son because it is the only way she can get through college as a single parent. I will say that even though I love my grandson dearly, I do look forward to a time when my life will be more quiet and still. As grandparents, we've already done our part in raising our own kids and truthfully, at some point, we DO need a break from child rearing.
I don't think I could ever just dump my kid on my mom and I don't think the economy has anything to do with this "trend". If I was economically in trouble bad enough then we would maybe move in with my mom together to get on our feet but I would still be the one raising and taking care of my child. My mom already raised her kids now she will jsut get to enjoy being grandma (once the baby shows up any day now).
I don't think I could ever just dump my kid on my mom and I don't think the economy has anything to do with this "trend". If I was economically in trouble bad enough then we would maybe move in with my mom together to get on our feet but I would still be the one raising and taking care of my child. My mom already raised her kids now she will jsut get to enjoy being grandma (once the baby shows up any day now).
I think that's the way it should be. Unfortunately, there are just too many parents out there who are not willing to make the sacrifices necessary to raise their own children. They have no consideration as to the sacrifices their own parents have to assume once they dump their children off on them.
There may come a time when parents have to rely on their own parents for help, but it should be a two way street. If you can't afford to maintain a home of your own for your children, you ought to be there as well, raising your own children and helping with the upkeep and running of that household. If you've addicted to substances, get your a$$ together and be grateful that you've got a support system in place to help you, but get it together. It's no one's job to raise YOUR children.
I'm in a similar situation as GloryB and have my daughter and grandson living with me. She just graduated from college and is not like a "child" living at home. She is still her child's mom and is simply another adult living in the home, doing her fair of the work that needs to be done around here. We are not taking care of her, nor are we parenting her child.
I'm not buying the BS that the economy is responsible for this crap.
Sometimes it really is. Last year, we both lost our jobs (my job was gone, and he got laid off) along with 400 other people when 2 factories around here moved out of country along with 5 other factories laid off close to 600 people. So we along about 1,000 other people were looking for jobs in a crappy economy, with only 100 jobs available.
We both found jobs about 4hrs from here, and were going to up and move all of us, but MIL said NO!!! Our DD ended up finishing out the semester (about 3 months) till he got called back to work, and I could start college again. We moved back and are doing fine now, but yes, for a short time the kiddo lived with grandma.
And it was all due to job loss, and profit margins, and the company simply made more money by moving the plant to Mexico in this economy.
I know it's not true for all people, but for us it was.
I don't think I could ever just dump my kid on my mom and I don't think the economy has anything to do with this "trend". If I was economically in trouble bad enough then we would maybe move in with my mom together to get on our feet but I would still be the one raising and taking care of my child. My mom already raised her kids now she will jsut get to enjoy being grandma (once the baby shows up any day now).
Yes this. I cannot imagine leaving my children to live with their grandparents - no matter how much money I had or not.
I think that's the way it should be. Unfortunately, there are just too many parents out there who are not willing to make the sacrifices necessary to raise their own children. They have no consideration as to the sacrifices their own parents have to assume once they dump their children off on them.
There may come a time when parents have to rely on their own parents for help, but it should be a two way street. If you can't afford to maintain a home of your own for your children, you ought to be there as well, raising your own children and helping with the upkeep and running of that household. If you've addicted to substances, get your a$$ together and be grateful that you've got a support system in place to help you, but get it together. It's no one's job to raise YOUR children.
I'm in a similar situation as GloryB and have my daughter and grandson living with me. She just graduated from college and is not like a "child" living at home. She is still her child's mom and is simply another adult living in the home, doing her fair of the work that needs to be done around here. We are not taking care of her, nor are we parenting her child.
I agree. We've all (mostly) fell on hard times, (our salary was cut by 1/3 a bit back) , & we struggled, but survived. We are doing okay now. I admit, my Mom helped me out a TON when my kids were babies, especially after I had 2 w/in 12 1/2 mos. lol When hubbies' salary was cut, we were 1800 miles from home & on our own, so, we made due.
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