How can we get grandma to the bus whenever she wants?

[brokensky]

The Senior Companion idea is great, too. In our area (NC) we have special transport that comes to the house to pick up elderly for medical visits/appointments. That could be helpful, too, if the need arises.

I think the nuclear family concept, wh/ used to be the norm!, is coming back . . . We used to have "cultural" guidelines that helped us all deal w/ having a senior in the household, along with adult children and small kids in school. That arrangement started changing in the 70s and it seems few people under 45 or so have lived in a household where grands were also there.

Everyone just kind of knew what was expected back in those days! Made it easier! Take grandma to church on Sunday, her Bingo or bible study or whatever on Wed, quilting group on Thurs . . . doctor's appts were made well in advance. I used to pick up my grandmother every Sat for years and take her on her rounds to the pharmacy (as needed), pick up groceries, and then whatever else, wh/ might include flower for the graveyard, sewing supplies at the Five and Dime, etc. She knew to have her list ready and she knew how much time I had to be with her. We looked forward to those times together.

With this situation, and Mom wanting to socialize with friends, she is preserving her autonomy by taking a bus, but not entirely. Someone has to get her to the bus stop, just like kids have to be gotten to school and parents have to make it to the office. Scheduling her trips in the same way other family obligations are scheduled makes for a smooth operation for all concerned.

Happy families don't just happen; they are engineered! Someone has to put some structure into the operations! Otherwise, disorganization becomes the hallmark of the household and that benefits no one.

[middle-aged mom]

When driving her is seriously inconvenient, no is a complete sentence.

[purehuman]

felicity3636...your idea of a calendar that Grandma can write the days she wants a ride on is not freakish or controlling at all....it's a great idea, and could solve your problem....with a toddler to carry around I can totally understand where you're coming from....don't let what Grandpa Pipes says bother you....just because she`s old doesn`t give her the right to have you at her beck and call...especially when she is still capable of shopping whenever she feels the desire.

[Zembonez]

Sound like grandma needs a dose of reality.

[dewdrop74]

thanks for all the advice everyone. the calendar really worked out well! she also felt bad always asking us for rides, and was relieved that i opened up to her about how it was making me feel.

[purehuman]

Great to read dewdrop74.....a happy ending