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Yes you are making a big deal out of what should be a happy time for everyone. You should probably host this even though you don't want to. Or you could also give the girl a shower...then you can have it when YOU want to and invite family only if you wish
I think this is social anxiety. I agree that a father hosting a baby shower is really odd. Is more going on here than was included in your post?
I do think that you just need to go, be polite and cheerful and don't allow yourself to be bullied. If someone jokes about you being a new grandma, just go with it. I can't tell you how many women wish fervently that their kids would provide them with grandchildren. If you feel sensitive about this, try to focus on the happy fact that a new baby is being born into your family, and that this is usually a very happy occasion. So try to be happy for your son and daughter in law.
Don't stay home. You will regret doing so for a long time.
Plan ahead for what you will wear. I think knowing in advance, and being happy about how you will present yourself can take away some anxiety.
Don't be a drama queen. You will never be able to take this occasion back. It isn't about you. All you have to do is go and be kind to everyone around you.
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