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My single daughter(dad not in the picture) has a new born and needs child care when she return to work? She initial assumed I would be her child car provider when she return to work after the 12 week. When I finally told her I didn't want to do it, that really seem to hurt her. I didn't want to do full time infant care that was it plan and simple. However after long consideration with my wife, I did agree to do it for her. She really needs the help and security of knowing the baby is safe and financial it would help. Now she seem to feel I should just accept what ever she can offer for the child care. I'm retired male with a still working wife and a empty nest. So I have the time and adore my grandchild, but this will be average 10 hours a day from 7:30 am /5:30 pm job five days week. Is charging a small fee ($1.25/hour) complete out of line? I'm sort of active and like going to movies and getting out but truthful I'm a couch potatoes so the kid would not affect my daily routine.
Even though you think you are helping your daughter you are not helping. She has chosen to be a single parent which means she has chosen everything that goes along with it, including figuring out how to pay for child care.
My single daughter(dad not in the picture) has a new born and needs child care when she return to work? She initial assumed I would be her child car provider when she return to work after the 12 week.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
Even though you think you are helping your daughter you are not helping. She has chosen to be a single parent which means she has chosen everything that goes along with it, including figuring out how to pay for child care.
Although we do not know the OP's daughter's situation, CSD makes a good point.
I have had several friends & acquaintances tell me that their adult children never even asked them if they wanted to be full time babysitters (often also just expecting them to do it for free) but just assumed that they would do it.
In some cases, the grandparents themselves were still employed fulltime, caring for an elderly parent or had other commitments and their kids still just assumed that they would be fulltime caregivers for their grandchildren.
Are you sure this is something you want to do 5 days a week, 10 hours a day? Dont you have anything that you enjoy doing during the week for yourself?
When do you plan on telling her that you are done? When does this end for you?
Have you thought of maybe watching the baby just a few days a week, instead of the entire week? That way your daughter will actually have to pay someone to take care of the baby for a few days and will appreciate the time that you do put in for her. Would also give you time to do something you want to do for yourself.
Really, only you know what you want and can do. I just can't imagine watching a baby for 10 hours a day for 5 days a week. Theres not enough money for me to do that.
Are you sure this is something you want to do 5 days a week, 10 hours a day? Dont you have anything that you enjoy doing during the week for yourself?
When do you plan on telling her that you are done? When does this end for you?
Have you thought of maybe watching the baby just a few days a week, instead of the entire week? That way your daughter will actually have to pay someone to take care of the baby for a few days and will appreciate the time that you do put in for her. Would also give you time to do something you want to do for yourself.
Really, only you know what you want and can do. I just can't imagine watching a baby for 10 hours a day for 5 days a week. Theres not enough money for me to do that.
I know some grandparents that do that. If you babysit, two or maybe three days per week, it may be the best of all situations. You would have a few days to "recharge your batteries", spend time with friends, schedule doctor's appointments, and do similar things, as well as spend time with your grandchild. Win for you.
In addition, your daughter would save money by not having to pay full price for childcare. Win for her.
Plus, OP, I suspect that your daughter will value your time more when she realizes how much it costs to actually pay someone full price to provide childcare.
Even though you think you are helping your daughter you are not helping. She has chosen to be a single parent which means she has chosen everything that goes along with it, including figuring out how to pay for child care.
She didn't chose this, and honestly I do feel bad for her because of that reason. She is grown to be a very a good women, with a good career. She put her self through college and got her BA and has been with same company for years. She did things the right way and wait till have her first child she's in her mid-thirties . It's just the father is not in the picture anymore, they where getting married but not now. She is very protective and she doesn't want to use a service. I think this was my motivation for agreeing to baby sit. She was so distressed I worried if she would be able to let go and go back to her job. She really trust me and I have a been there for all my kids and grand kids.
She didn't chose this, and honestly I do feel bad for her because of that reason. She is grown to be a very a good women, with a good career. She put her self through college and got her BA and has been with same company for years. She did things the right way and wait till have her first child she's in her mid-thirties . It's just the father is not in the picture anymore, they where getting married but not now. She is very protective and she doesn't want to use a service. I think this was my motivation for agreeing to baby sit. She was so distressed I worried if she would be able to let go and go back to her job. She really trust me and I have a been there for all my kids and grand kids.
It is hard to answer this without coming off as mean.
She did choose this. She chose to get pregnant before she got married. Waiting until your 30's to have an out of wedlock kid isn't the right way. You seem like a decent guy so I wrote out of wedlock instead of what I usually say. You say the father isn't in the picture. He has at least 18 years of bills to pay plus money to a college fund, and life insurance in case he dies before that time.
I think you would be enabling her. If you want to watch the kid that's fine, but charge the same as a stranger. Billing the father would be a good idea.
No but I give her my word I will do, how long that's another question for a later day.
I dont know if you mentioned your age, but I think you are really underestimating the toll this will take on you to work full time. So she doesnt want to use a service...who does? But you do what you have to do.
You are being a little selfish taking over full time. You havent given any room for any emergency situation. If you are watching the baby 100% of the time, what happens when you get sick? And it will happen. Your daughter will be helpless, having no back up as to taking care of the baby. It will turn into a panic situation. She will have to take off work to take care of the baby until you come back, or find a service in a hurry, which is never a good idea.
If you watch the baby a few days a week, she will be able to form a relationship with a service, such that if something happens to you, there will be someone reliable to cover your days.
She didn't chose this, and honestly I do feel bad for her because of that reason. She is grown to be a very a good women, with a good career. She put her self through college and got her BA and has been with same company for years. She did things the right way and wait till have her first child she's in her mid-thirties . It's just the father is not in the picture anymore, they where getting married but not now. She is very protective and she doesn't want to use a service. I think this was my motivation for agreeing to baby sit. She was so distressed I worried if she would be able to let go and go back to her job. She really trust me and I have a been there for all my kids and grand kids.
Sarcastic aren't we the bitterness is strong with this one.
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the bitterness is strong with this one.
