Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I respect people as individuals, based on their individual experiences and wisdom. I know young people who are wise and have been through a lot, and old people who have been through relatively little. I know old people who have taken a lot from life and have a lot of great advice to offer, and I know old people who get stuck in their ways and make everything into an ego struggle.
For example, my great aunt is so wonderfully open-minded and empathetic because of her life experiences. On the other hand, my grandfather used his age as an excuse to verbally abuse people. Not all older folks are alike in their experiences and in their ability to learn from their experiences. I also know a lot of younger folks (like my wife and roommate) who for their young age have been through quite a lot, so they have a lot of wisdom to offer despite only being 20 and 21. Of course there are many young people who are naive, and I will freely admit we still do make mistakes, but that doesn't mean that all young people are alike.
As I always say, assess the individual, not the group they belong to. Rather than seeing someone as "old" or "young" just see them as the person they are, get to know them, and respect them accordingly.
My default is to respect others, for simply being human, but I do this regardless of age.
I respect people as individuals, based on their individual experiences and wisdom....
As I always say, assess the individual, not the group they belong to. Rather than seeing someone as "old" or "young" just see them as the person they are, get to know them, and respect them accordingly.
My default is to respect others, for simply being human, but I do this regardless of age.
And what do you do when you don't know the individual? I'll bet you condescend to little children just a little bit, don't you? You must accept that you don't treat the person you meet on the elevator the same as you treat the person who serves you your lunch. Maybe you still treat each one well and perhaps you don't look down on either one but you do still form preconceived ideas about every person you meet before you get to know them. And those preconceived notions color the way you treat them at first. This is a human thing to do. It goes back to caveman days when meeting a member of the wrong group could mean the difference between life and death. It's an instinct within all of us. So when you do that, you are telling me that their age, race, gender, attractiveness, dress, station in life, does NOT play ANY part in the way you treat them? If you are telling me it doesn't then you are either lying or you are a robot. You can't treat every stranger the same exact way.
This is where stereotypes come in. We meet someone that fits closest to a certain mould and as we get to know them we compare them to that mould, or we fit them into a different mould and compare them to that one. It's normal.
So when a stranger's mould is elderly, you are telling me that you treat them with the same amount of respect (courtesy ANDhonor) that you treat a young whippersnapper's mould? That's not right. Elderly people deserve a bit more (honorific) respect.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx
And what do you do when you don't know the individual? I'll bet you condescend to little children just a little bit, don't you? You must accept that you don't treat the person you meet on the elevator the same as you treat the person who serves you your lunch. Maybe you still treat each one well and perhaps you don't look down on either one but you do still form preconceived ideas about every person you meet before you get to know them. And those preconceived notions color the way you treat them at first. This is a human thing to do. It goes back to caveman days when meeting a member of the wrong group could mean the difference between life and death. It's an instinct within all of us. So when you do that, you are telling me that their age, race, gender, attractiveness, dress, station in life, does NOT play ANY part in the way you treat them? If you are telling me it doesn't then you are either lying or you are a robot. You can't treat every stranger the same exact way.
This is where stereotypes come in. We meet someone that fits closest to a certain mould and as we get to know them we compare them to that mould, or we fit them into a different mould and compare them to that one. It's normal.
So when a stranger's mould is elderly, you are telling me that you treat them with the same amount of respect (courtesy ANDhonor) that you treat a young whippersnapper's mould? That's not right. Elderly people deserve a bit more (honorific) respect.
There's 'respect' and then there's 'RESPECT'. The behaviour you talk about is rather superficial: the waiter is not nice to you because he really likes you as a person (although that usually helps!) but because he's playing a role and enacting a social function.
Truly respecting a person goes deeper than treating them nice on the surface. It's about respecting their rights and value as a human being.
There's 'respect' and then there's 'RESPECT'. The behaviour you talk about is rather superficial: the waiter is not nice to you because he really likes you as a person (although that usually helps!) but because he's playing a role and enacting a social function.
Truly respecting a person goes deeper than treating them nice on the surface. It's about respecting their rights and value as a human being.
That doesn't address my question (which you quoted). And if you read my earlier post you know that I understand more than most of the people here the difference between what you call 'respect' and 'RESPECT.'
No they are not. people who treat others with respect deserve respect. It has nothing to do with age.
And what if you met them 5 seconds ago? I think the OP boils down to the assumption that this is the case. Do you treat an elderly stranger any differently than you treat a younger stranger?
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx
That doesn't address my question (which you quoted). And if you read my earlier post you know that I understand more than most of the people here the difference between what you call 'respect' and 'RESPECT.'
Doesn't change my question: do you treat every individual stranger differently?
I do not treat anyone different because of who they are as a person, or their race/ethnicity/religion etc. Everyone deserves to be treated with politeness and respect.
I do not treat anyone different because of who they are as a person, or their race/ethnicity/religion etc. Everyone deserves to be treated with politeness and respect.
Please re-read this post and come back to repeat that. Did you really read it? I don't believe you can treat every single individual stranger the same. In order for you to do that you have to short-circuit thousands of years of necessary instinctual behavior. Behavior that was relevant only a couple of hundred years ago and is still largely relevant today.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx
Please re-read this post and come back to repeat that. Did you really read it? I don't believe you can treat every single individual stranger the same. In order for you to do that you have to short-circuit thousands of years of necessary instinctual behavior. Behavior that was relevant only a couple of hundred years ago and is still largely relevant today.
True, I might not treat a child exactly the same way as an adult. Not because I think any less of him/her, but because you have to relate to them on a different level.
As to different races...I might have my pre-conceptions, but I'll always try to treat them as people.
Anyway, I basically stand by my answer. You asked what I did, so how is that a 'wrong' answer when it's your opinion?
Please re-read this post and come back to repeat that. Did you really read it? I don't believe you can treat every single individual stranger the same.
The key is not to be blind to differences obviously (of course we would all agree that say, not letting a child vote or drink, not giving a heavy lifting job to a skinny fellow whose body can't handle it, or declining someone who can't speak English well a job that needs verbal fluency, is only proper). Statistically discrimination is used all the time, (after all, what is marketing? If one group, say women, people aged 19-30, those of Italian culture. etc. is more likely to be the target of your product of course you focus on them) but to ignore irrevelant differences and stereotypes in situations that one is tempted to give when they are not helpful to or get in the way of knowing the individual.
For example, if I was making lunch for my friend, and I wanted to decide if I'd like to add chili peppers to it, I'd ask him "Do you like those?" if I can, rather than reason "Well, he's a recent immigrant from a country whose cuisine is known to be spicy, and statistically has a high consumption of hot peppers, so I'd bet on it". My knowledge of whether my buddy usually likes that kind of food is the useful generalization, not the "demographic which my buddy belongs to".
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx
In order for you to do that you have to short-circuit thousands of years of necessary instinctual behavior.
To be fair though, we have (well at least in many parts of the civilized world) gotten rid of many behaviours that were common and that happened thousands of years ago, and what is natural and instinctive isn't always right, an idea which has been beaten to death.
The key is not to be blind to differences obviously (of course we would all agree that say, not letting a child vote or drink, not giving a heavy lifting job to a skinny fellow whose body can't handle it, or declining someone who can't speak English well a job that needs verbal fluency, is only proper). Statistically discrimination is used all the time, (after all, what is marketing? If one group, say women, people aged 19-30, those of Italian culture. etc. is more likely to be the target of your product of course you focus on them) but to ignore irrevelant differences and stereotypes in situations that one is tempted to give when they are not helpful to or get in the way of knowing the individual.
For example, if I was making lunch for my friend, and I wanted to decide if I'd like to add chili peppers to it, I'd ask him "Do you like those?" if I can, rather than reason "Well, he's a recent immigrant from a country whose cuisine is known to be spicy, and statistically has a high consumption of hot peppers, so I'd bet on it". My knowledge of whether my buddy usually likes that kind of food is the useful generalization, not the "demographic which my buddy belongs to".
This is all true, but the question remains. Do we treat elderly strangers with a bit more courtesy or even honor than the young whippersnapper stranger?
Quote:
To be fair though, we have (well at least in many parts of the civilized world) gotten rid of many behaviours that were common and that happened thousands of years ago, and what is natural and instinctive isn't always right, an idea which has been beaten to death.
Well, we aren't discussing a lengthy conversation. We are discussing an immediate instinctual emotional response towards a stranger. I'll argue to the day I die that you can't change your immediate instinct towards a stranger any more than you can change your immediate instinct towards an attractive woman or man.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
