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I’m not just making this up. Seventy-three percent of black children are born out of wedlock. WAIT.
OH MY GEEZUS AND WHAT THE CUSS!! EIGHTY PERCENT OF BLACK CHILDREN ARE BORN OUT-OF-WEDLOCK!! This is according to a story in USA Today, dated April 11, 2012. Take a gander at the stark differences, and YOU tell ME which group is faring better educationally and economically:
"About 80% of first children born to black women were outside of marriage; 18% of these women were cohabiting. Among Hispanics, 53% of first children were born outside of marriage, and 30% of the women were cohabiting. Among white women, 34% of first children were born outside of marriage, 20% to cohabiters. Among Asians, 13% of first children were born outside of marriage; 7% of women were cohabiting."
Compare that with, oh ... ANYONE else, and you see we lead the pack. (After No Wedding No Womb, you’d have to be living inside a crevice and a stone not to know my take on this. Getting pregnant doesn’t “just happen” and no man’s penis trips and falls into a woman’s vagina.)
Where’s the black church on this issue? No outrage? Oh. They’re too busy co-signing the beating and choking of 15 year-old girls.
I’m going to get a little personal here. A month before my wedding, The Hubster and I were ... uh ... ”coloring,” and I said “Hey, why not let it slide with the condoms? We’re getting married in 27 days.” He flat out told me “No. I won’t risk it. You’ve already proven your fertility with Maxi Me, and I want to be sure that ALL my kids are born after your ring is on.” Welp; guess he told me. It was a good thing, too, because my husband can just blow in my ear and I get knocked up.
Because I know the parents of the groom, I know that they were just a teenie, tiny, eensie, weensie bit nervous about having a black daughter-in-law, but you know what helped a lot? Them knowing our family, and seeing that we were just like everyone else, except I’m chocolate and my husband is vanilla. His parents were also willing to grow and learn, and even bought a copy of SWIRLING: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed so they could better understand the bride’s cultural experiences. Bottom line though, she was pregnant, and they were going to support their son legitimizing his child.
Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of the opposite going on in the black community, with black mothers front and center petting and protecting their sons, telling them they better not marry that tramp, because the baby might not even be theirs, blah blah blah. But in their defense, most of those mothers got pregnant without being married, so telling their sons not to marry women with whom they have impregnated is as natural as a puppy piddling on your Persian rug. I wonder though…might this resistance be only because marriage then children is so foreign, or something else, like jealously toward the girl, because the son deems her worthy of marriage while the mother didn’t have such an experience?
And then people say your racist when you point something out like this. As mean as stereotypes are, they are generally founded upon true observations - although it must be said that everyone does not fit into stereotypes.
blacks engage in cohabitation far more than any other ethnic group. proximity+hormones*discouraging rates of using protection=babies
also socioeconomic factors delay creation of legitimized (married) black unions. There has been research done with the participation of black couples that ask why they haven't gotten married.* it isn't for lack of want but different attitudes, and a desire to increase one's wealth before taking on the married life.
Findings: Marriage Attitudes and Expectations
*Most of the new mothers and fathers who were in committed relationships wanted to get married to their partner at some time.
*Most of the new mothers and fathers thought that it was important to get married to someone in the future.
*Although most mothers and fathers wanted to get married some day, most were skeptical about the institution of marriage and the benefits of being married.
*Most of the mothers and fathers believed that cohabitating produced the same benefits as marriage and that single mothers could raise a child as well as a married couple.
*Few of the mothers and fathers had positive views about other partners who might potentially be available in the marriage market.
*Although mothers regarded marriage as having little or no benefits for themselves, they believed that children were better off if the father was in the home and the parents were married.
*Most of the mothers and fathers believed that financial security was an important factor in relationships and marriage.
*Many couples stated that financial concerns and related problems were a major reason why they were not married.
Also, while the number of out of wedlock births comprises the majority in the black community, the total number of children born to white unmarried mothers, if we go off the above statistics and based on CDC 2009, is approx 1,078,919 Contrast this to the number of black out of wedlock births @ 526,094 . please spare me the details on *well duh, there are more whites than blacks* as i'm not interested. There are more white children born oow period.
I’m not just making this up. Seventy-three percent of black children are born out of wedlock. WAIT.
OH MY GEEZUS AND WHAT THE CUSS!! EIGHTY PERCENT OF BLACK CHILDREN ARE BORN OUT-OF-WEDLOCK!! This is according to a story in USA Today, dated April 11, 2012. Take a gander at the stark differences, and YOU tell ME which group is faring better educationally and economically:
"About 80% of first children born to black women were outside of marriage; 18% of these women were cohabiting. Among Hispanics, 53% of first children were born outside of marriage, and 30% of the women were cohabiting. Among white women, 34% of first children were born outside of marriage, 20% to cohabiters. Among Asians, 13% of first children were born outside of marriage; 7% of women were cohabiting."
Compare that with, oh ... ANYONE else, and you see we lead the pack. (After No Wedding No Womb, you’d have to be living inside a crevice and a stone not to know my take on this. Getting pregnant doesn’t “just happen” and no man’s penis trips and falls into a woman’s vagina.)
Where’s the black church on this issue? No outrage? Oh. They’re too busy co-signing the beating and choking of 15 year-old girls.
I’m going to get a little personal here. A month before my wedding, The Hubster and I were ... uh ... ”coloring,” and I said “Hey, why not let it slide with the condoms? We’re getting married in 27 days.” He flat out told me “No. I won’t risk it. You’ve already proven your fertility with Maxi Me, and I want to be sure that ALL my kids are born after your ring is on.” Welp; guess he told me. It was a good thing, too, because my husband can just blow in my ear and I get knocked up.
Because I know the parents of the groom, I know that they were just a teenie, tiny, eensie, weensie bit nervous about having a black daughter-in-law, but you know what helped a lot? Them knowing our family, and seeing that we were just like everyone else, except I’m chocolate and my husband is vanilla. His parents were also willing to grow and learn, and even bought a copy of SWIRLING: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed so they could better understand the bride’s cultural experiences. Bottom line though, she was pregnant, and they were going to support their son legitimizing his child.
Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of the opposite going on in the black community, with black mothers front and center petting and protecting their sons, telling them they better not marry that tramp, because the baby might not even be theirs, blah blah blah. But in their defense, most of those mothers got pregnant without being married, so telling their sons not to marry women with whom they have impregnated is as natural as a puppy piddling on your Persian rug. I wonder though…might this resistance be only because marriage then children is so foreign, or something else, like jealously toward the girl, because the son deems her worthy of marriage while the mother didn’t have such an experience?
Interesting, I was just at church last Sunday. Married Black couples with children all over the place. There are Black Americans all across this country who strongly believe in getting married and having children in that order. Why is this population ignored? Where are the books, articles, journals, studies, research projects, seminars, blogs about Black Americans who value marriage? This barrage of negativity about the Black community, and Black families needs to end. I suspect that there is an agenda to all of this negativity. It's called book sales. I have a problem with anyone who seeks to line their pockets by presenting Black families in the most negative way possible to promote interracial relationships and marriage. I can see through this side hustle. Its that transparent.
Yet, I wasn't born a bastard. Neither was my mother or her mother or her....
You get the picture. Quit painting a whole entire community with the same brush. It makes you look ignorant.
Obviously there are exceptions, such as the two posters above. But this thread is discussing the disturbing trend of the majority.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joy74
Interesting, I was just at church last Sunday. Married Black couples with children all over the place. There are Black Americans all across this country who strongly believe in getting married and having children in that order. Why is this population ignored? Where are the books, articles, journals, studies, research projects, seminars, blogs about Black Americans who value marriage? This barrage of negativity about the Black community, and Black families needs to end. I suspect that there is an agenda to all of this negativity. It's called book sales. I have a problem with anyone who seeks to line their pockets by presenting Black families in the most negative way possible to promote interracial relationships and marriage. I can see through this side hustle. Its that transparent.
And no, the world is not out to get the black community to exploit them. That idea is rather ridiculous. The purpose of a forum is to discuss, not exploit and degrade.
WE have a "foster child" that we loved and raised as our own...she went into the Navy, met a wonderful young man (who happened to be black) and married. Had 2 BEAUTIFUL GRANDBABIES, then decided "not what I want in the way of responsiblity" and BOLTED leaving this young man in charge of being momma/daddy to two beautiful children.
All I can tell you is we are DAMN LUCKY she picked who she did, because our "son in law" is the BEST MOMMA/DADDY ANY GRANDPARENT COULD EVER ASK FOR!!!!! He is doing an AWESOME job of raising these beautiful kids, takes them to church every week, these babys are smoothered in love from all of us, and I am SO DAMN GRATEFUL for "who my grandbabies daddy is"!
I know that there are a LOT of opposite stories to counter our personal experience, but Mike, YOU ARE OUR SON, OUR BLESSING AND THE REASON OUR GRANDBABIES WILL SUCCEED AND WE ARE SO PROUD AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!
I ONLY post this to show there are two sides to EVERY coin...and we are so grateful, proud and ACKNOWLEDGE that HE puts our grandbabies needs and lives above his "baby's momma".
Interesting,and you are right.
Lots of black mothers DO encourage their sons not to marry.
They baby the sons to much. That's one thing I never understood about black mothers. It seems especially true with southern born mothers.
I have heard mothers tell their sons:
You don't have to take care of your kids"
Momma's baby,papa's maybe"
Let her(the mother of his kids) get on welfare".
A guy could leave any time he wants"
One guy who cohabitated with the mother of his children(he didn't have a job,she was working) said his mother told him to leave the mother of kis kids because its a woman's job to take care of their kids. His mother told him he shouldn't be watching his own kids while the mother works,he shouldn't make dinner,and he shouldn't be doing laundry,because its a woman's job.
When he told his mom that his baby mother works,she told him that the mother could get on welfare. I know the baby mother,she is a nurse and makes six figures. Why would someone go from making six figures(115,000 a year) to get on welfare because some sorry baby father of hers didn't want to watch his own kids is beyond me.
Geez,he isn't even working.
That kind of thinking to me is disgusting.
Last edited by jerseygal4u; 01-29-2013 at 11:29 PM..
Obviously there are exceptions, such as the two posters above. But this thread is discussing the disturbing trend of the majority.
And no, the world is not out to get the black community to exploit them. That idea is rather ridiculous. The purpose of a forum is to discuss, not exploit and degrade.
Considering intact Black families as an 'exception' is the exact problem. Those of us who are from married parents and stable families do not view ourselves as the exception. Our valuing marriage is a given. It is our perspective that is routinely ignored by many who discuss this issue. The balance is missing. Also, the idea that people are using various platforms to exploit, and degrade the Black community is very accurate. Some are seeking to make a profit and push their agenda, whatever their agenda may be. In the case of the author of that book mentioned in the OP's post, the agenda is to promote IR relationships, which is fine. The problem, as I mentioned before, is she sends very negative messages out about Black families through various platforms. This drives interest and book sales from those who share the same beliefs. Her anti-Black family and community sentiment is a problem. Also, It would be incredible to come across a thread on this site that didn't degrade Black people when we are discussed. It happens so much, that many threads get locked. I am amazed at the amount of racists comments that are allowed in this forum.
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