Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
For a lot of people a grocery store is a territory to be claimed and controlled.
They'll block an aisle while staring hypnotically at the garlic salt, they'll run their cart through an intersection without looking, they stand in the the front doorway with a cart and 4 kids oblivious to the people around them trying to get through.
They'll even occupy the parking lot. Sitting forever waiting for a parking spot so they don't have to walk more than 75 feet to get into the store. And they'll take up 2 (or more) parking spaces to park a huge SUV in the spaces intended for compact cars.
They have no respect for shared space.
I don't see that in the SE either now or when I was living here in the 60's/70's.
I also did not see that in Philly when I lived there in the 80's.
Honestly, I have only seen this in NY and it was quite shocking to me the first time I witnessed it.
Aside from the grocery store aggression, I remember going to a mall at Xmas time the first year I moved to NY.
I came out got in my car, and while I was buckling up, getting ready to leave, apparently not fast enough, someone started laying on their horn for me to vacate the parking space I was in.
Seriously? Were you raised by wolves lol? I found it quite bizarre.
My partner and I just did this exact thing last night.
The store was busy, and he was taking his jolly old time getting bread. I took the opportunity to slip into the checkout line (which was right opposite the bread). I was standing there, obviously with nothing in my hands and talking to my partner who was about 15 feet away. When he finished getting the bread, someone had come in behind me. Nothing we did inconvenienced this guy in any way. Assuming he had two brain cells to rub together, he could assume from the fact that I had nothing in my hands and I was speaking to a guy with a cart a couple of feet away, that said cart of groceries was going to be in line in front of him. If he had an issue with it, he certainly could have chosen another line.
*shrug* I respect that you wouldn't do it, but I'm failing to see where the rudeness comes into play with it.
Several aspects here:
1). I think there is a decline in manners in our society as a whole, because
--when growing up, some people are not taught manners, and thus just imitate what they see other people doing.
-- a growing cultural feeling of 'entitlement'. The best one-liner I heard was from a physician, who stated "I am not arrogant, I am entitled." Geez.
-- I feel that this 'entitlement' is based on a selfishness character flaw.
Wasting other peoples' time demonstrates very poor upbringing. Somewhat relates to those people who are chronically late to show up/attend something. Make others' think that their time is more valuable than yours. Barf.
A similar example to the checkout line scenario is what they often do in Boston (many narrow streets with on-street parking) after a big snowstorm. People dig their cars out to go somewhere, put a chair/trashcan etc in the cleared out spot, basically saying it is THEIR spot when they come back.... If someone else who lives on the street (and thus is allowed to park there), and moves the obstacle, it is likely that the person taking that spot will come out to find a trashed car. An extreme example of selfishness but the basis is still the same. I.e. "I cleared out the spot, so now I "own" it". Rampant feelings of entitlement to a public parking spot.
Poor manners do affect others. Some people can deal with it when they see it, others can't. Personally, it doesn't bother me in the least because I rarely see it, as (also stated by another poster), DIY checkout lines, going places at off-hours (grocery stores late on Sat nights or early Sun morning), ordering over the internet, avoiding malls near any holiday season/day, and perhaps going to more upscale businesses. So I dealt with it by avoidance. So poor manners actually did affect my lifestyle, but not in any way that I really care about.
It's the little things that annoy me, e.g., you approach the glass door of a store to enter it, then see some one inside wishing to come out, you pull the door open and stand aside, they just walk out as if you didn't exist.
I always say, loud enough for them to hear, "You're welcome!"
If I'm in a restaurant, and the server brings me anything, menu, wine list, silverware, whatever, I just naturally thank them.
I've been in restaurants with family members, their dinner has been placed before them, they haven't said a word, the server has said, "Would you care for mint sauce/shaved parmesan/black or white pepper?"
Without even the courtesy of looking up, my wife's brother has simply said, "No."
When I gently pointed out that it may have been polite to say, "No thanks", he asked "why?'
I said, "If you have to ask why, then there it isn't worth telling you."
I don't see that in the SE either now or when I was living here in the 60's/70's.
I also did not see that in Philly when I lived there in the 80's.
Honestly, I have only seen this in NY and it was quite shocking to me the first time I witnessed it.
Aside from the grocery store aggression, I remember going to a mall at Xmas time the first year I moved to NY.
I came out got in my car, and while I was buckling up, getting ready to leave, apparently not fast enough, someone started laying on their horn for me to vacate the parking space I was in.
Seriously? Were you raised by wolves lol? I found it quite bizarre.
If anyone did that to me, I wouldn't care how much of a hurry I was in, I'd step out, lock the car, and head back to the mall, or if there was a newspaper in the car, I'd slowly open it, and start reading it.
So yeah, society should be about surrendering your base-instincts and overall selfish desires......at least to the point where your self-based instincts are going to negatively impact others/society.
So when you blare music that others forced to listen to, you are having a negative impact on others.......don't you people realize this????? When you stand right outside a store entrance and puff away on your cigarette, you are being selfish and negatively impacting others. The list goes on and one..........good manners and considering others should be ingrained in all!
While the grocery cart people cutting in line can be annoying I think we have a much worse problem in our area. People will wait in a line at the gas pump,start pumping their gas and then go into the store and order (and wait for) their lunch. This is true even if someone is in line behind them waiting for gas.
While the grocery cart people cutting in line can be annoying I think we have a much worse problem in our area. People will wait in a line at the gas pump,start pumping their gas and then go into the store and order (and wait for) their lunch. This is true even if someone is in line behind them waiting for gas.
There must be worse things in life, but I agree with you on this, people who are guilty of it must be the world's champion selfish, uncaring s.o.b's that is possible.
We don't get the order lunch/wait for lunch over here that you mention, maybe a sandwich and coffee, but it's still time consuming.
What we get mostly, is people leaving their car at the pump, then going into the mini-store to do some shopping, before going to the line to pay.
This is calculated to make a normal person tear their hair out, I can understand the gas station/store wanting to maximise sales, but providing I'm not 'running on fumes', I will give these places a miss, so what the store makes on a couple of candy bars, magazines, or newspapers, they lose from my not putting £55 of fuel in my tank.
I've lost count of the times that I've seen these gas station forecourts look like I.75 on a Labor Day weekend.
The simple solution is for drivers to pull off the pump after filling, and then go to the store, but a) there may be insufficient space, b) drivers are concerned that it may be thought that they're driving away without paying for their gas, and c) no doubt some drivers do keep going, straight to the road, so security get antsy if they see a car move off the pumps.
Best bet is to swerve these places altogether, and seek a gas station that just sell gas, but they are as rare as hens teeth.
I came out got in my car, and while I was buckling up, getting ready to leave, apparently not fast enough, someone started laying on their horn for me to vacate the parking space I was in.
Seriously? Were you raised by wolves lol? I found it quite bizarre.
Wolves are nicer. Someone did that to me once, too. They were also so close to my spot that I wasn't sure I could back out without hitting them.
My partner and I just did this exact thing last night.
The store was busy, and he was taking his jolly old time getting bread. I took the opportunity to slip into the checkout line (which was right opposite the bread). I was standing there, obviously with nothing in my hands and talking to my partner who was about 15 feet away. When he finished getting the bread, someone had come in behind me. Nothing we did inconvenienced this guy in any way. Assuming he had two brain cells to rub together, he could assume from the fact that I had nothing in my hands and I was speaking to a guy with a cart a couple of feet away, that said cart of groceries was going to be in line in front of him. If he had an issue with it, he certainly could have chosen another line.
*shrug* I respect that you wouldn't do it, but I'm failing to see where the rudeness comes into play with it.
That's because it's established as a social contract kinda thing, situation depending. What is rude, that the OP sees is line cutting- which your situation described is almost borderline, especially being empty-handed. As the guy was kinda just there, it's meh... it's like if you had the baskart, and your busband ran off to get a forgotten item, is he to wait at the back, and pay for it seperate, no. It's established that he may return to yalls spot in line, er go; social contract.
Shopping is not a competitive sport where the sole aim is to beat your fellow adversaries (shoppers) out of the store. Patience is another virtue my friend.
Get in the line and wait like everyone else. You might lose all of 5 minutes out of your day.
Have you not ever saw the Nickelodeon Toy Run?
A baskart is a vehicle of sorts, so it must be a race
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
