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My parents chose not to be embalmed (to save $$). While I try not to think about the natural process of decay, it really boggles my mind that they spent so much on the caskets but elected to forego embalming. One other factor in this choice -- Dad thought he would be able to see Mom at the funeral home the next day to say a final goodbye, but of course the funeral director advised against it.
My daughter-in-law's mother was a young woman when she died earlier this year, and DIL adhered to her wishes to have a green burial, so no embalming in that case, either. Because it was a green burial, the casket was very rustic and she was buried in a forest adjacent to the cemetery. That seemed more "right," if that makes any sense.
A plain wood casket with no metal will be entirely absorbed back into the earth.
The biggest funeral viewing irony is the comment, "He/she looks good." Though I get the intent, OMG! they are deceased. They don't look good. No viewing for me either.
Not everyone feels the same way you do. Some people need to see the body to realize the death is real. And some people find great comfort from spending time at a viewing with the body visible.
Embalming/preparing a body for viewing is an art. Some funeral homes are better at it than others.
Personally, I noticed a big difference between Northern funeral homes and Southern ones. No idea why. But the viewings I went to in the North were hideous with the body's looking shrunken, waxy and basically like death warmed over. While the viewings I have been to in the South look like the person could sit up and start talking to you at any minute.
I wish I had known more about it. My mother died last year. I found her dead in her bed at about 2:30 in the morning. I had to wait with the cops until a doctor looked at her file and ok'd the release of her body to the funeral home, and then the funeral home guy was at my kitchen table at 5 a.m. asking if I wanted her embalmed. I said yes, because I figured she'd had my father embalmed, but afterward I realized I should have said no. It was $800, and this was late March 2020. We couldn't have a viewing, and no funeral other the 20-minute graveside service with fewer than 10 people including her pastor and the funeral director. What difference did it make? Still a little annoyed at myself, but I wasn't thinking clearly.
As a side note, when I later went to the funeral home to bring a dress to bury my mother in, I saw a sporty car with the license plate "MBALMER". She was a pretty young woman about 30 years old. I helped pay for that car, I guess lol.
Someone gave me a private message that they are someone who needs to see the body and it better look good!
I agree and that also gave me a bit of a chuckle because my family on both sides is very particular about this and makes sure the funeral director knows someone will be showing up the day before the viewing to make sure they got it right.
Someone gave me a private message that they are someone who needs to see the body and it better look good!
I agree and that also gave me a bit of a chuckle because my family on both sides is very particular about this and makes sure the funeral director knows someone will be showing up the day before the viewing to make sure they got it right.
Someone gave me a private message that they are someone who needs to see the body and it better look good!
I agree and that also gave me a bit of a chuckle because my family on both sides is very particular about this and makes sure the funeral director knows someone will be showing up the day before the viewing to make sure they got it right.
LOL Bingo - That's what we have here too - a private viewing before the wake or visitation or whatever you prefer to call it, to check on things and be sure the body looks OK! Usually the day before but it can be just several hours before.
LOL Bingo - That's what we have here too - a private viewing before the wake or visitation or whatever you prefer to call it, to check on things and be sure the body looks OK! Usually the day before but it can be just several hours before.
Well, not surprisingly, this tradition in my family is frequently one of the drama points lol! A few hours doesn't always guarantee time to fix whatever the problem is deemed to be.
If you hired the persons hairdresser of 20 years rather than use the hair person at the funeral home, it may take more time to get them back in to fix something. Unless you are my cousin who whipped out a brush to fix it herself while asking the funeral director could she fix it herself without making her mother's head come off lol!
Sure a few hours might be enough to make them pluck (or pluck yourself) Granny's chin hair that they missed, but listen to this story!
When my sister and I went to check on my father, they had put a smile on his face! I have never seen that and we were both freaked out at first. So, now what to do lol! My other sister was out with my mother because she decided at the last minute she wanted a new outfit to wear.
It was a subtle smile, not a big toothy grin. And, it actually looked like his smile in one of the pics we had given them to guide them. But, we weren't sure if our mother would be ok with it. We finally decided we were ok with it, my father would probably have gotten a kick out of it, and my mother couldn't be mad at all three of us. Of course, then we had to track the other sister down and get her to agree.
Had we decided to make them take that smile off, I would not have wanted to be sitting around waiting for them to do it a few hours before the viewing!
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