Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My mother died in her sleep in the early morning hours on Saturday. It was unexpected, but not a complete surprise. She was 91 and had experienced a number of injuries and illnesses in the past year, with six trips to the ER beginning with a fall that caused a hairline pelvic fracture in August and followed by shingles, a gall bladder problem, and several other incidents. In November, I thought she would not see Christmas, but she bounced back once again.
The week before last, I visited her to bring her books to read and do some grocery shopping for her and I was surprised that she was doing pretty well with her walker getting to the bathroom, dressing herself, etc. We played what would be our last games of Scrabble. Then on Wednesday morning my brother, who lived with her, called to ask if I could come help. She had somehow injured her knee and it was swollen, and she was having trouble standing. He pulled a muscle lifting her, plus she needed help bathing and dressing herself, which was better for a daughter to do. I packed a bag and went.
Friday while she was at dialysis, a nurse called to say my mother wanted to go to the ER and get her knee X-rayed, and they did not recommend that she go for obvious reasons. They told her to take a painkiller and ice the knee and keep it elevated. I said, NO, please do not take my mother to the ER. The nurse said, "Thank you."
When she came home she kept trying to get comfortable in her recliner and kept sleeping and waking up and saying, "I'm so tired, I am just so, so tired." She asked my bro and I to put her in her bed. We did. I gave her one of her painkillers, and checked on her an hour later, and she seemed to be sleeping more peacefully. At 2:30 I woke up and used the bathroom and went to check on her, and she was gone. I believe her old heart, patched up with her equally old arteries four years ago, just gave out.
(She had also been somewhat despondent because her old long-time friend and partner in crime died last Tuesday. There's a part of me that thinks her buddy swung by and picked her up and they are off on a new adventure.)
Anyway, to the topic of this thread, here's the new normal for funerals in the days of coronavirus. We are allowed to have a wake, but only ten people at a time may be in the room and social distancing must be observed. We decided to just forgo that. Even at her age, a lot of people knew and loved my mother in the small town where she spent her entire life, and we have a large extended family, as well. We plan to do a celebration of life down the road when the health crisis has passed.
Some cemeteries are not allowing anyone at the burial. The cemetery where my mother is to be buried next to my father and brother is allowing up to ten people, but those ten include the funeral director and any clergy. My mother's pastor will be there. I am one of six living siblings, but only four of us will be there. One is in Pennsylvania, and they are restricted from traveling to our CV-infested state, so she can't go anywhere. The other cannot leave her husband home alone because of his health issues.
The funeral home is offering something new that they've come up with--livestreaming of the graveside service on Facebook. I asked him what the charge would be for that service, and the director said, unable to hide a little smile, "Oh we are not charging for that service--yet." I suspect that if this works out for them, they may add it to the chargeable list of services. Death is one heck of a business.
So that's the state of conducting a funeral in these strange days, at least where I am.
All Obituaries in our area (W. Ky.) state that services and burial will be private until this stuff is over. Not even any visitation. A friend died a couple weeks ago and her family is going to have a memorial service at a later date.
All Obituaries in our area (W. Ky.) state that services and burial will be private until this stuff is over. Not even any visitation. A friend died a couple weeks ago and her family is going to have a memorial service at a later date.
Interesting. When they say "private", does that mean family can attend, I wonder?
My mother's friend who died a few days before she did had six kids, but only one lived near her here in NJ. The others are all out west. They had nothing whatsoever. I think the local son simply arranged to have her buried next to their father.
There was a “private family service” announced in the obit (due to the Covid-19 virus) for someone I know who died last week. Her immediate family was quite small, though, with around 10 at most. They decided to have the service now rather than announce a memorial in the future, which they may or may not do.
“Private” to me usually means immediate family and/or those who are explicitly invited.
Interesting. When they say "private", does that mean family can attend, I wonder?
My mother's friend who died a few days before she did had six kids, but only one lived near her here in NJ. The others are all out west. They had nothing whatsoever. I think the local son simply arranged to have her buried next to their father.
I'm so sorry for your loss, MQ. You are and were a good and faithful daughter to the end. As far as the funeral goes, I know that all the recent obituaries in our local paper have stated that graveside services are private, which means immediate family only, and that other observances will be held at a later time.
Might I suggest you have her cremated then at a later time when the virus has passed, have a service and burial for her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
