Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Um, there are folks who really need it, Lucknow. I can't say anything else about that right now as I might say something I regret.
I did not intend to be flippant about it at all. If you have a condition like that you will need all kinds of supports. My grandson has Tourettes and ASpergers and I know what kind of a hassle it is to have him officially diagnosed.
Ok...
I think this thread is moving in a circle with these things coming over and over;
1: get yourself tested - Yes I intend to
2: you don't have it, label, etc - I get your point.
3: no such thing/spectrum - No and Yes.
4: buhu-internet-test - I'm perfectly aware of internet tests reliability, I made a thread about AS, not about braindeath.
5: Neemy, I'm sorry to hear about your son. He clearly got a worse end of it than I did if I have AS, and if I don't (which may very well be more likely, neither of us know) then the same applies. You apparently misunderstood the last of my posts that you replied to. The diagnosis is hard to make for a child, but easier on adults.
What I ment with the part that is "easier" with children is that when you diagnose a child with this it is usually because they display some of the symptoms that stick out clearly, for example motoric dysfunctions and speech dysfunctions, etc, which will make a parent know something is up. After they know this it will be hard to determine that it is actually AS, but I'm sure you are aware of this as well?
What you do not seem to be aware of is that many of these symptoms do not necessarily occur, even if a person truly have AS. For example you don't necessarily need to have learning disabilities or speech dysfunction even if you have it, and these are the cases that slip to adulthood without really getting recognized.
6: "You're looking for excuses" - What I am looking for regardless of what my problem really is, is a strategy to overcome it. Preferably one that does not involve meds, and I wouldn't accept a treatment at all which has it's core in eating some sort of "happy-pill". I want a plan to change, not meds to forget the issues and sweep them under the rug.
Location: Went around the corner & now I'm lost!!!!
1,544 posts, read 3,600,291 times
Reputation: 1243
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwedishViking
Like some of you know I've had some problems with acquiring ladies and new friends...
I've never felt comfortable in social situations etc and a few days ago I read about AS... And almost all of it seemed to fit in like a glove.
Now I've done some tests(6 to be exact), American, British and Swedish and all of them basically say "you likely have AS, you should get yourself checked out by a professional". (the American test said I was close to the risk-zone, the other 5 who had more specific and a larger quantity of questions pretty much scored a close to definite positive...)
So what does this mean for me?
Do anyone know males with AS who have been successful with women?
If I go and have it diagnosed officially, should I tell a woman I meet about it after a while(a couple of dates) or just be quiet?
I knew and worked with two Physical therapists who would be diagnosed with AS; one was married but I never met his wife; the other was looking for a wife and neither had children. One was much more social than the other in that he would eat lunch with us while the other would dissapear during these times. One of these guys would smile while the other would look like he was trying his best to put a smile on his face and rarely gave us eye contact.
But if I were you, get a professional diagnoses first if that is your desire. Believe me, I rather have your "so called" DX (diagnoses) than many other ones out there any day. Just go to the Zoo, oh... huh I mean Walmart and sit there for a couple of hours with a nice cold drink and watch the people going in and out of there and you will find out that you are OOOOOKKKKK
Most personality traits are on a spectrum though -- that's just the nature of things.
This is exactly so. With autism it's not the actual things the person does (stimming -- we all stim in some way; or have difficulties at times socially -- etc.). It's the severity of these things (or others in the criteria), how much they impact the person's ability to be self-sufficient and interact with others, and how much they impact the person himself.
For instance, you, or someone else, may have certain physical boundaries where you do not like being touched by people. Your best friend might not like to be touched by total strangers. You might be okay with a brief hug from a near-stranger but not too closely. And so on. An autistic person, OTOH (a sensory-avoidant one, anyway, tactilly), may feel a touch from even a close family member in an unbearably squicky way, almost the physical equivalent of nails on a chalk board, and may have to scream, hit him/herself or do other things to "get rid of" the feeling. In each of these cases, the person, including each of the non-autistic people, had a natural, human aversion to certain types of intrusive touch. IOW, just having a touch threshold is not autism; it's the state of being a person. With the sensory-avoidant autistic person, however, it interfered with daily life and caused pretty much intrusive, physical pain.
And this philosophy is not unique to autism. For instance, a person may have had symptoms of depression following a sad event, but the length and severity were not enough for a DX. A person may seem to have hyperactivity at times but not enough times, in enough ways, be ADHD. A person may have certain self-centered traits which are undesirable yet not have them severely enough, impacting life and relationships, to be DXd with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
It's true of physical things too, in a very logical way. A person's body may have fat on it but the person is not overweight until a certain percentage of fat on the body, compared to the total size of the body, is reached. A person can have *some* fat on his or her body (it's almost impossible to have none) and be underweight, actually.
A person can have a certain percentage of candida yeast in his or her body without having candidasis. The amount of the yeast has to cross a certain threshold before it's a problem because a certain amount of candida in the body is normal. It's the imbalance, with too much yeast:too little bacteria, that presents a problem and becomes a DX.
And a person can be shy, introverted, and/or socially inappropriate yet in no way be DXd autistic.
Doctors don't just DX people autistic because they're shy, slow to learn (in the case of classic autism, greater than 40% of the time, anyway), have behavior problems, concentrate a lot on one hobby or issue or don't quite fit in socially.
My son was DX'd when he was 6. There were just so many "odd" traits about him that I was able to dismiss until he was in a formal classroom.
He has never been comfortable around people his own age and will often go on and on about his favorite topics. Oh, and his teachers particularly enjoyed when he would correct them when they would say something that he knew was incorrect.
It has been heartbreaking as a Mother to watch his struggle and his pain. He has had a couple of girlfriends but the relationships never last long. He is now 22 and he is still in pain and wants love so badly that it is palpable.
Please see a professional to ascertain if you truly have Aspergers. I hope for your own sake that you have been projecting too much when you have taken these "tests". Socially awkward can be helped while Aspergers is in a completely different class altogether. I wish you well.
You know DrummerBoy, I'm annoyed by all the pharmaceutical commercials too--you have no idea how much I am. Only in America. . . but don't get me started. However, just because there are too many commercials for meds does not mean that the conditions are non-existent. This actually makes financial sense--no drug co is going to spend billions on R&D for a drug for a non-existent illness. The profit motive is too great for that. Also, statistics show that the incidence of kids born on the AS has gone up precipitously in the last few years--it's not just that more attention is being paid to it. Something is going on and it benefits no one to deny it--least of all the kids themselves.
Perhaps you have no idea what it's like wandering around in a fog with a vague idea that you're different from other people and that there's something wrong with you and then one day . . . . you get an answer and find out that there are plenty of other people like you who share your pain and that there are many positives to your unique personality that you'd never thought of b/c you were too busy focusing on what was wrong. It's not about the meds, though in my case they do help and I take the minimum dose and if anything else goes wrong with my health I"m likelier to treat it with herbs and supplements than with drugs.
I have a personal theory about why the numbers have gone up, and I ask parents of kids with AS this very respectfully and without blame (because who could have known?)--did the mothers of these kids consume any products with aspartame while pregnant? I ask because I've had my own personal issues with the stuff and it's hard to say whether I had problems b/c of my own unique brain wiring. I had seizures on and off for years after they started putting it in the sodas in 1983, and after I stopped drinking diet sodas or using any other thing with aspartame they went away and never came back. I wonder b/c the timing of the rise of AS begins with aspartame being put on the market.
I didn't consciously consume anything with aspartame, so unless someone slipped me some, I don't think so; I was actually very strict about what I ate during my pregnancy. But I do keep my son away from aspartame because I suspect it has some negative effect on his behavior. That and anything with red dye. Better to be safe than sorry.
My son was DX'd when he was 6. There were just so many "odd" traits about him that I was able to dismiss until he was in a formal classroom.
We knew even in his infancy that there was something different about my son's development than with the typical child. He would not/could not make eye contact, would shut down (almost into a coma, it seemed--scared me to death!) at loud noises & stimulation, would not look up if we called his name but would look up quickly at a noise that did interest him, would scream and sob helplessly until someone would pick him up but would not look at the person nor reach for the person, no matter how anguished he was, and a whole host of other things that really frightened me, a lot more so before I knew what was actually up. It got easier after that.
He spoke a total of six words until the age of 3.75...then he began speaking in spurts. Previously his six words didn't necessarily make sense to the situation, either. However, he would continuously make noises, and stim with his throat -- squealing, screeching, clearing his throat, "fake" coughing, doing stuff with his lips.
He was DXd PDD-NOS at the age of two and officially DXd autistic just as he turned four.
Quote:
Originally Posted by melaniej65
It has been heartbreaking as a Mother to watch his struggle and his pain.
Hear ya. It's not a cool, fun, kitschy diagnosis or something...I can't tell you how many times I've heard people, even other parents, snidely refer to autism as the "issue du jour" and I just want to tell them, Your child somehow won the genetic lottery. Your child GOT LUCKY. Don't even go there because you have no clue. You worry about Little Clarissa knowing only the oboe but being stubborn on the violin and by the way, what IS up with her math work -- she's in second grade, she should be getting straight 100s, not high 90s, oh dear. I, OTOH, worry about when my husband and I are dead and my son is in a home being abused by state workers.
ETA: Sorry for the overabundance of passion there, but when I hear people scoffing at this and calling it fake, I no longer have even the slightest desire to be polite. Rather, I say, to h*ll with anyone who "doesn't believe in" ASD. God bless you for having won DNA roulette. And by the way, dears, do you also walk up to people in wheelchairs and say "I don't believe in that 'it's neurological! It's a real issue!' crap...get the eff up and walk, stop jumping on the bandwagon!"? Just curious...
Okay...whew. (shaking self off and putting a smile back on) That said, my son is doing wonderfully right now! He has come a long way. However, he will never "not" be autistic any more. This is him. And that's that. He's okay with it so far. He is about to turn eight. We may have him in a standard ed class with an aide as early as fifth grade (two grades from now ).
My son was "normal" from birth either. He wouldn't let anyone near him (except me) for almost a year. He finally "warmed up" to his father then.
He would not let his skin touch grass, dirt or sand and sometimes even the wind would hurt him. He still has problems with eye contact and walks with his head lowered. People think he's weird and seldom take the time to know him for himself. He has a wicked sense of humor and has extensive knowledge on the topics that interest him. He is kind and sweet with family and long time friends of the family.
He is a wonderful student and is very driven but so many people are so unkind. Of course he doesn't wear a sign that says "I have Aspergers"; but it still hurts that my son is so isolated.
There is all kinds of help for children but it all ends at graduation from HS. There are no programs for young adults with Aspergers- so they are left to flounder and try to make their way through the adult world.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It got easier after that. 
