Three Relatives and Health Care in a Train Wreck (kidney stone, ankle, infection)

[Mikala43]

Are you looking for a discussion on assisted suicide?

[Hedgehog_Mom]

I think this is more of a cautionary tale for those of us who have not yet reached that stage of life, to consider what our wishes would be if we were in a situation like that, and to express those wishes very clearly in writing before we're ever in that sort of situation.

Some people want to live forever. My mom has said that she wants to live as long as possible, in whatever condition she ends up in, and not to ever consent to turn off life support, stop feeding her, etc. while she still has a dollar to her name to pay for treatment. She inherited a lot of money from her mother, who did not want to live forever and did the paperwork and left my uncle, who would actually respect her wishes, in charge of her decisions. My mom says she's planning to live at least another 30 years and she figures she can just pay to make that happen. There's no discussion of quality of life with her.

Personally, dementia is a lot scarier than dying from cancer or an infection. It's tragic when the mind is gone and the body remains in good health. My sister says that we're in the midst of a real-life zombie problem...the way that Alzheimer's is so common now.

[jbgusa]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

Are you looking for a discussion on assisted suicide?

That, and more importantly the failure of doctors to honestly present treatment options and likely outcomes. When my mother was choosing whether or not to have chemotherapy it was not explained to her the impact of her deepening dementia. Perhaps the doctor was in a hurry. Perhaps my mother should have been given more than 60 seconds to decide something so profound.

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by jbgusa

That, and more importantly the failure of doctors to honestly present treatment options and likely outcomes. When my mother was choosing whether or not to have chemotherapy it was not explained to her the impact of her deepening dementia. Perhaps the doctor was in a hurry. Perhaps mgooy mother should have been given more than 60 seconds to decide something so profound.

She had as long as she wanted, unless she was forced into it physically. Second opinions are always allowed.

Doctors are taught to heal, and will go as far as patients allow. Do no harm, even by omission.

Some doctors are not good at bedside manner.

My husband's orthopedist is an ahole, but he is a good surgeon.

I am sorry your family has gone through all of this.

[charlygal]

Originally Posted by jbgusa

That, and more importantly the failure of doctors to honestly present treatment options and likely outcomes. When my mother was choosing whether or not to have chemotherapy it was not explained to her the impact of her deepening dementia. Perhaps the doctor was in a hurry. Perhaps my mother should have been given more than 60 seconds to decide something so profound.

Perhaps your mother and you could have done your own research. You could have forgone treatment and opted for hospice and palliative care.

[jbgusa]

Originally Posted by charlygal

Perhaps your mother and you could have done your own research. You could have forgone treatment and opted for hospice and palliative care.

What's your suggestion? How do you forgo hospice and/or palliative care and not get reported to Adult Protective Services? I did lots of research.

What are your fantastic ideas?

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by jbgusa

What's your suggestion? How do you forgo hospice and/or palliative care and not get reported to Adult Protective Services? I did lots of research.

What are your fantastic ideas?

What are yours?

[jbgusa]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

What are yours?

We had a 24 hour nurse assistant. The hospice was required in order to terminate active cancer treatment. When I attempted to switch hospice services, I received a threat to report me to Adult Protective Services.

So again, your brilliant ideas?

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by jbgusa

We had a 24 hour nurse assistant. The hospice was required in order to terminate active cancer treatment. When I attempted to switch hospice services, I received a threat to report me to Adult Protective Services.

So again, your brilliant ideas?

I don't have the problem, so I don't need a solution.

[jbgusa]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

I don't have the problem, so I don't need a solution.

So do you just enjoy making snarky, judgmental remarks for the fun of it? Great entertainment I guess.