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Okay; from the experience of the nurse vs my experience as a patient:
... A "not as uncommon as you may think" erotic fetish that involves a hamster & a rectum. Ironically our on-call surgeon that night was a Dr. Hamstra. So it became known as "Hamstra's Hamster Case".
There was the guy that got high on crystal meth & tried to break into an unoccupied house in a very wealthy neighborhood by climbing a tree onto the garage roof, lost his footing & rolled off the roof & impaled himself on a wrought iron fence. Had to have abdominal surgery & was taken directly to jail by the cops that showed up at the hospital about an hour before he was to be discharged.
And then there was the guy that walked 3 miles to the emergency room with a 2 foot long tree branch sticking out of his head. Looked like someone had shot a tree branch from a bow like an arrow. He never did tell us how it happened; kept saying it was "a long story".
had my two big dogs at the dog park..... bent over to pick up some poop and got hit from behind by three dogs chasing each other in circles..... knocked me right off of my feet and I landed with my left leg pinned under my body..... and my kneecap dislocated and completely on the outside side of my knee.....
My business had just gotten us health insurance 4-5 days prior, after me having been uninsured for the 3 years prior to that..... I didn't even have a card yet.... My partner was the first person I called to make sure all was in place.... then while another dog park patron called 911, I was psycho-dialing any and everyone I could think of to come take my dogs home...... Finally got hold of my housemate as the ambulance rolled up and he was able to get there just as they were loading me in..... thank goodness I lived less than 10 minutes away!!
Got a glimpse at my chart or record at some point later and was amused to see that someone had changed it from picking up poop to picking up a stick.....
My mother had to go to the ER once when my dad snagged her with a fish hook while casting for bass.
That was way back when every doctor in the community took turns covering the ER in that small hospital. The one who removed the hook from her knee was an ophthalmologist.
He never did tell us how it happened; kept saying it was "a long story".
Did he say "I was minding my own business" and blame it on "some dude I never met"? Apparently that dude is responsible for putting people into hospitals all over the country. He gets around.
Not to be outdone, I got bitten by a CA sea lion while visiting the Channel Islands off Santa Barbara.
My fault. 18 and stupid. The Coast Guard said it was the first case they'd ever seen....
When I was 5. my family visited the Sea Lion Caves in Oregon, climbing down the rickety old wooden staircase. They had only a low fence that separated the viewers from the sea lions, some of them right up against it. So naturally, I had to climb the fence and stand right on the back of a huge Steller's sea lion bull. The attendant there went into a frenzy, shouting at me to get off, saying that the bull would turn around at any instant and rip off my leg. Just as the bull started to twist around to deal with me, I leaped back over the fence.
But we were escorted out of the facility and invited not to come back. But just a month later, we did go back and were not recognized. The low fence had been replaced by a huge heavy one that was three times as high. Apparently, I was the first kid who thought it would be a good idea to go over that fence.
I shall post this for my father, as a kid I never remembered to close the garage door (before auto doors), so I see it propped up one day by a stick ( turned out to be a 2x4), I went over and kicked out the stick before running to play some hoops with friends, apparently the door was propped up because my father was working on it and you know how garage doors come in sections, well if your hand is between those sections and the doors springs aren't connected, and it happens to slam shut before you can completely remove your hand, whatever is left gets broken which happened to be my fathers middle finger.
Weeks later he had me check the spark plug while he pulled the string to start the mower, if anyone tries that prank on you, don't touch the spark plug with it being disconnected and the motor attempting to start, it doesn't feel all that good to say the least.
I noticed all three of these incidents were guys doing something stupid. I wonder if they handed their beer to their friend and said "watch this" before it happened.....
When one of my sons was a toddler we had to take him to the ER because he stuck a cheerio so far up his nose we couldn't get it out. Another toddler son fractured a femur while playing with the dog in the kitchen. Just one of those bizarre things.
I had to go to the hospital to get a spider removed from my ear. We had just moved to Oklahoma, I was recuperating from a shattered ankle, so I had to use a walker (I'd had major abdominal surgery a month earlier, so no crutches for fear of ripping my huge incision open.) I woke up one day and my ear hurt badly. I was having a hard time hearing and my ear was all red and getting more and more painful as the day went on. A doctor ended up having to remove a rather large spider with a tweezers... in pieces. So horribly disgusting.
And then a month later I leaned up against a doorway and got a large piece of wood impaled through the palm of my hand. Looked like I had stigmata. The same doctor had to remove it and stitch my hand back together.
It was a rough year, to say the least. (We also got hit by a tornado the first week we lived in Oklahoma. I think I should have run screaming right after that happened, probably.)
Wow...I think I would have moved back to wherever I came from! I wouldn't wait to see what happens next...lol!
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