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You may be ugly, but if you are sweet, charming, a good listener, and honest you should ablate find someone who wants to be with you. There are many women that are not 10's that would love to have a relationship with someone that has the qualities I listed.
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I have many platonic lady friends who have told me they consider me a good listener. As far as charming goes, my sense of humor is notorious; I have had some of the hottest girls around laughing hysterically at my jokes and impressions.
Unfortunately despite our friendship all of the women, I have ever asked out stated that their inability to take our relationship to the next level, was due to her need to be sexually intimate with a guy whose looks are "enough of a stimulant to turn her on" (her words not mine!).
One girl I spoke to also admitted that she felt my looks were definitely the crux of my problem as the unfortunate but obvious truth is that according to her "most gals seek out hot guys because physical attraction is important to most in a sexual relationship and for many physical appearance compromises physical attraction".
When I asked her if she gave any consideration to a homely guy who could compromise with intelligence,personality, and humor she responding by saying; " gals don't disregard the emphasis on looks since they want both looks + positive qualities/traits in a sexual/romantic partner otherwise they could have a friend if they just wanted the positive qualities/traits."
She also stated that unless a woman has an ulterior motive such as money; "girls tend to want to have sex with those they find attractive otherwise it can be quite unpleasant and unhealthy".
She continued by saying that an ugly guy should learn to forget about intimacy and be content with keeping female friendships platonic.
As you can see, it is dreadfully obvious that an ugly guy seeking a romantic relationship is a loosing proposition for all, as he will never be able to experience sexual intimacy with a woman unless she is blind or he pays a prostitute!
This is why I desire asexuallity more than anything. How might I achieve that is the million dollar question!
Until that person shows up, hope you can get the help you are looking for. 23 is YOUNG in the whole scheme of it all. My mother always said "there is a lid for every pot"...I'd love to see what you look like.
I had a bf that I almost didn't give my phone # to as he looked like Woody Allen...glad I gave him my #, he brought so much joy to my life, we lived together and he was funny funny funny, great SOH...and sexy.
Being this young means that I still have a long uphill battle ahead before I achieve the nirvana of middle age decreasing libido!
I have heard that some men do not experience a significant drop in their sex drive until their mid-late 40s!! This means I could possible have another 20+ years of a raging unsatisfied sex drive before I experience any relief! This prospect is beyond demoralizing--
Quite often the thought of other couples being intimate w/one another fills me first with anger, and later sadness.... They get to experience sexual intimacy not because they earned it or paid for it, but simply because they were lucky enough to win the genetic lottery and everything just fell in place. And yes before anyone else says so.....I know that life is not fair....that is just how things are...etc
Even more frustrating is the ultimate personal acknowledgement that despite ones efforts at socializing it is nearly impossible to overcome being dealt the blow of poor genetics.
I STRONGLY believe that if a man who is too physically unattractive to attract female interest is born, his parents should chemically castrate him from birth or reduce his testosterone. This would have saved me sooo much pain and heartbreak!
He would never know the sting of rejection, because he would be oblivious to the impossible desire of seeking beautiful women! That would be a most loving way any parent could improve an unfortunate looking child's quality of life! One truly cannot miss what they have never desired.....Essentially render the ugly child asexual, since he has no chance of experiencing sexual intimacy anyway...I do belive this would be the best solution of all!
That being said I hear negative things about chemical castration...Again I desperately need some medical input here before I make any long term decisions, as I do not want to compromise my overall health.
Thank you again to those who posted. I really hope, others can provide me with the answers I am looking for!
OP: You need answers, we are NOT doctors. See a doctor who deals in this area.
Understood.
I came here in hopes that someone in a similar predicament would share how they dealt with this situation and successfully eliminated their desire for sex.
I guess this thread proves that very few people are this physically unattractive. I suppose I am part of a very small minority, afflicted with physical features that inhibit any possibility of a romantic relationship and therefore sexual intimacy.
Simply have been troubled by this for years, with no solution in sight. I am very embarrassed to talk about this in RL, which is why I seek the anonymity of a online forum. As a grown man I am embarrassed to admit that There are times I feel like crying, I am so frustrated.
At 23 years old the prospect of waiting for libido to naturally decrease with age feels equivalent to a 25 year prison sentence with the possibility of parole.
I just wish I could make myself as asexual as my 64 year old co-worker, who says that "he's not attracted to women."
Get a decent job, and be a responsible, caring and genuine person. You will find a woman who values you for the traits you have, both as a provider and otherwise. Then it won't matter if you're ugly as dogcrap, some women just want to be provided for and cared for, looks are not always #1.
In my lifetime of 56 years, I've seen plenty of guys who aren't great looking that found their match. You seem to feel from having been platonically involved with a few woman who were shallow enough to tell you that looks were so important that you're doomed forever.
Ridiculous.
As someone said above, every pot has a lid. I guarantee you that there are women out there that would date you, have a great time with you and even be intimate with you. First thing you need to do is get therapy to overcome this lack of confidence. Second, do what you can to improve yourself physically. Exercise and get in shape. Third, work on your grooming. Get a new hairstyle, improve your wardrobe, wear a different cologne. Then report back.
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This would have saved me sooo much pain and heartbreak!
That would be a most loving way any parent could improve an unfortunate looking child's quality of life! One truly cannot miss what they have never desired.....Essentially render the ugly child asexual, since he has no chance of experiencing sexual intimacy anyway...I do belive this would be the best solution of all!
