Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
heehee
I could never ever eat dessert first.
I'm more into anticipation. All good things are worth waiting for.
That picture of the skin-and-bones model is really sad. Seeing overweight children is sad, too. Our land of plenty sometimes seems so strange.
I'm not saying that thin women aren't considered attractive, they are, but nobody would think an anorexic girl is sexy. Angelina jolie is a lot more curvy than an anorexic. The reason these people want to be so thin isn't because of society's standards, it's their own crazy standards.
I see a lot of kids talking about losing weight and about how skinny they'd like to be, but the actual really skinny people I know don't like being skinny. They get teased just as much as the fat kids. Being slightly overweight isn't really that ostracizing unless you're a model or a professional athlete, and even if you're a model you can still make a good amount of money being an overweight model.
I don't think healthy is the same thing as feeling good. I feel fine, I don't get out of breath after climbing the stairs, but I'm still fat, and I'll never be happy the way I am. I don't understand people who are like "my wake up call was when I saw a christmas photo of myself, and then I realized I really need to lose weight." Why do these people even need a wakeup call? Can't they see themselves in the mirror? How can you gain a hundred pounds without noticing?! Isn't this kind of self delusion worse than anorexia, since it effects most fat americans, and anorexia only effects a small percent of skinny people?
I had the delusion of not being fat - and no, looking in the mirror doesn't alway do it. Sometimes - you can't see the forest for the trees...
When my second child was born, I weighed in at 230lbs. I never lost the weight from the first pregnancy, and had managed to add more the second time around.
The funny thing about it was the fact I was healthy (heart, lungs, etc. all within normal limits) cholestrol was fine, BP great, etc. Because I felt ok - and I was busy raising the kids - not getting out of jammies for days when they were little (anyone out there see a pattern here? LOL!), I didn't realize how big I was.
I kept hearing, "you have such a pretty face, if you'd just lose some weight"/ The kicker? I was standing in Church on a Sunday morning, and a visitor, attempting to make small talk - asked my when I was DUE. I do not know who was more embarrassed, her or me when I had to say "I'm not pregnant".
At that point (I refuse to write how much I weighed), I was more than pregnancy weight and my 'baby' was a year old. That did it for me.
The next day, I forced myself to stand in front of the mirror and LOOK at what everyone else saw. First, I had to FIND a full length mirror, because I did not have one in the house. I collapsed in the floor in tears - I had know idea how bad I really looked.
It did take me 4 years to lose 100 lbs., but I did it. And I did it for me, because I was tired of the comments, the low self-esteem, and feeling good but knowing I looked horrible - even though I had lived delusional for a while.
I think maybe we should define 'feeling good' when you are overweight. (I can't talk about underweight, because I have never been there.) I was a size 6x in 1st grade, had breasts and wore a bra in 4th grade, so this was normal to me. Feeling good when you are heavey can run the gammet from no physical symptoms, good self-esteem - that sort of thing. Everybody has their own idea of what feeling good is.
BUT - like a person who has never had children - if you have always been big and don't know what it is like to be small - how could you know what feeling any other way is? Does that make sense?
I started this post because I am worried about the 'all or nothing' in society. No gray areas - either you are one way or the other. I hate to see young girls who define themselves with the number the scales say, or a number on the tag of their clothes - but I also hate the other way - not realizing their health is in danger in the long run, consuming junk and not exercising at all, getting bigger by the day. Worse part is - these girls are delusional both ways. Anorexia is more prevalebt then you think. You don't have to LOOK anorexic to BE anorexic.
It seems you either hate your body or you are comfortable. You can hate it thin, fat or in between, or be comfortable thin, fat, or in between.
'Normal' does not exist. "Average' might, but I hate that term, too. I don't want to be average! But that has to come from within, doesn't it?
My wish is that somewhere, somehow - we as adults, could pass on all we know to the kids coming up - so that they make healthy, educated choices - without the push form 'fat' foods or the 'skinny' media.
My wish is that somewhere, somehow - we as adults, could pass on all we know to the kids coming up - so that they make healthy, educated choices - without the push form 'fat' foods or the 'skinny' media.
So - how do we do that?
Modeling the correct behavior is a start, but it is no guarantee.
Growing up can be a time for experimentation and occasional risky behavior.
In addition, a lot of young people will take *control* wherever they can get it.
Compulsive eating or not-eating is one way to exhibit that control.
Keeping the lines of communication open is important (and not always easy with teens.)
I know I keep harping on this, but I really really wish for less TV in the lives of children. It's not like I never watch it, but I think it can be simultaneously an insidious influence as well as slow brain death.
Kimmiey, thank you for putting yourself out there on this topic, first of all. That couldn't have been easy! You're amazing for having lost all that weight, too. I struggle to lose twenty pounds.
My "moment of truth" about weight gain came about a year and a half ago when I was at a concert. I looked down and saw that the seam on my jeans was coming apart. No skin showing yet, but the material was a different color as the seam was giving way. That was it for me. The only solution would have been to buy bigger size jeans, but that would have been "giving in".
Instead, I joined Curves the very next day. It helped a lot, but then I got lazy and didn't go for three months. Then I went back again. And now I've been lazy again to the point where my jeans don't fit once more. Anyone see a pattern here? This is only fifteen or twenty pounds; I can only imagine what other people must go through!
I know what you mean about girls' opinions of themselves going both ways (thinking they're either thin when they're not, or fat when they're not). When I see girls stuffing themselves into clothes that are two sizes too small, I wince. When I see girls with pointy elbows and stick arms, I also wince! Maybe all of this should start at home, but when you have parents who are unaware or don't practice good eating habits and exercise... Well, I just don't know.
Cil and Sandy - it does start at home. Most kids who are overweight - or weight obessed are that way because oif their parents.
I was never 'thin' but I look at pictures of myself in High school, and I was 'normal'. When I was cheering, one of the pictures was dark, and you could not see faces. I was the same size as the rest. BUT...
my mother had been traumatized as a child with my grandmother telling her how fat she was, etc. - and when mom got pregnant with me, started smoking and took diet pills so as not to gain much weight - this was with the doctors approval! I weighed 6lbs.9oz , and I am surprised my brain works.
My mother is now 60, and I am 40. To this day she speaks about my weight - and she teaches exercise classes in FL. She wears a 4 or 6 - and I can see the disgust in her eyes when she looks at me. Oh, well.
The cycle has to be broken somewhere. I stopped the cycle with my kids, explainig they need to be comfortable with themselves (thank God they are boys), and that periods of chubbiness were 'God growing them out before he grew them up, because they would look funny with skin stretched over bones!'
The boys know to eat healthy, and my oldest is actually starting to do what he has been taught. The main thing for me was drilling self-esteem into their heads and letting them know the are unique and special and the media , peers, etc. have nothing to do with who they are.
Me, on the other hand - I still hear my mothers voice - and I must confess - I bought some laxatives yesterday. After going through my closet and finding my fat clothes didn't fit, I got deparate. I'll level out, I know. Broccoli and extra, extra water today, along with stopping food after 7:00 and not eating out of boredom.
I don't know if I am healthy or not - but when I started this thread the other day - I felt good about me - now, the pendulum has swung and I do not.
While we know starting at home is the way to go - and depending on the parents attitudes, kids will go one way or the other....peer pressure and media is still the number one 'killer' of self-esteem.
I also recommend curbing television intake, but realistically that is a hard thing to police with the moms and dads who are gone so much trying to make ends meet. These kids have way too much time and ...have you been to myspace lately? It is horrible. The sex attitudes start so young, and is spurred by body image. These girls have gotten the message that the only way to be popular is to be thin and show skin - and that is what they do.
I am seriously considering beginning a shop here in town (it's a poor community, but I did it before and taught exercise) with classes and programs for kids to improve self-esteem. Just in the thinking phase, but if I could get a few involved, it would spread, and just maybe give them an alternative to sitting at home eating, watching t.v. or going down the tubes with trying to starve themselves - just to take pictures and flaunt on the net.
You know - this is such a multi-faceted issue - it's really hard to know who to attack first - the parents or the kids...
Richard Simmons has a great program started to try and bring P.E. back into schools. I went to his sight and signed his petition - I wish all of you would do so as well. When he reaches a certain number, he is going to congress, much like the musicians did to bring music programs back in to the schools.
Check it out - it is a starting point.
richardsimmons.com - just in case you are interested.
...I don't know if I am healthy or not - but when I started this thread the other day - I felt good about me - now, the pendulum has swung and I do not...Day to days are a funny thing...Oh, geez...what's a girl to do???
Me
Is it time for your yearly visit to your PCP? Chem-24 in range? CBC - ok? Have your mammogram? are the "girls" ok? PAP - normal? If all the above are yes, then you are healthy. Can you keep up with your children and their activities and not wheeze and "suck air"? Good for you - you're probably healthy. You may be peri-menopausal - visit your PCP if it's time (or even if it's NOT). BTW: I cut out the sizes in my pants - Levis fit at one size, K-Mart - at another, Metro7 still another. Take care of yourself.
.... - this is such a multi-faceted issue - it's really hard to know who to attack first - the parents or the kids.....
I think you mean who to concentrate on first. I say parents. Who buys the stuff, drives to Micky D's? I think that as an Ortho nurse, you have good insight not only on healthy lifestyle (nurse) but also on the damage excessive weight can do to bones and joints (ortho). Be sweet!
I think you mean who to concentrate on first. I say parents. Who buys the stuff, drives to Micky D's? I think that as an Ortho nurse, you have good insight not only on healthy lifestyle (nurse) but also on the damage excessive weight can do to bones and joints (ortho). Be sweet!
...concentrate - that's the word. I have studied nutriton and healthy living for so long - and as you can tell my passions really come out when I get on a roll ! Sorry for not sounding sweet!
I know a mother who has a drawer in the kitchen - full of junk. Used supposedly as a 'reward' drawer for good behaviour, the kids have access all day. They are 3 and 5 - and needless to say they are in it every chance they get.
My best friend feels the same way I do about this subject - actually she is worse than I - you don't want to get her on her soapbox...and she told me about this 'drawer'. Here's the 'funny' part - the mother cannot figure out why her kids won't eat supper and refuse to eat their vegetables. I wonder...
I helped my husband at the Driving Range he ran a few years ago. It never ceased to amze me how the parents would bring the kids in to learn the sport of golf, ask questions about improving their game, buy the best clubs, pay for classes - but trying to explain the basics of health to improve their game - they just didn't get it. Here they would come, golf bag on one shoulder, carryinf a McDonalds or Taco Bell bag in the other hand. So I taught a sports medicine/ nutrition class for the kids at the range, and getting them fired up began a snowball to the parents. One young boy (about 9) came back to tell me he was drinking more water, learning to stretch before playing, and getting rid of his 't.v. junk food' , but he had a hard time convincing mom he REALLY didn't want the junk anymore!
As far weight, health and mixed messages we receive from the media and everywhere else - it is so important to educate parents and kids. Sometimes -I think the kids do a better job of educating their parents if given the chance.
Starting kids out with the ability to make the correct choices in eating are so important. I knew I had gotten though to my kids when they told me to buy more broccoli at the grocery, and 'no more cokes mom - just water.'
So - we have decided there is no such thing as 'normal', eating habits and self esteem have to start at home, thin or heavey - we have to be healthy first - and forget about numbers - they mean nothing. The statement about sizes varying from store to store and brand to brand is so true!
As for me - I have fibrimyalgia. Other than that I am healthy as far as I can tell. No health insurance for several years have kept me away from check-ups, but cutting down on smoking (almost completely gone guys! big deal for me!) and increasing my supplements keeps me feeling good 0 most days. We all have days when we want 'fat girl food'.
I just have to get the clothes a little looser - then I will be ok. Exercise is the key for me, which is getting better these days. (gloomy weather keeps me in, but the trampoline is coming in handy!)
mm Mary -So glad to know you are an Ortho Nurse. How long have you been practicing? I have been in medicine for about 13 years, had to go to work, didn't have the opportunity to finish nursing but have learned alot through practical experience and self-study. How much nutritional advice does your doctor give to your patients? Just curious, as the Neuro I last worked for was really beginning to push nutrients for healing after surgery, and for preparation of big procedures, along with cancer care. Just curious about yours. The first day I heard him suggest a natural calcium and vitamin B's, I gave him a hug and told him I was so proud!
Cil and Sandy - it does start at home. Most kids who are overweight - or weight obessed are that way because oif their parents.
I was never 'thin' but I look at pictures of myself in High school, and I was 'normal'. When I was cheering, one of the pictures was dark, and you could not see faces. I was the same size as the rest. BUT...
my mother had been traumatized as a child with my grandmother telling her how fat she was, etc. - and when mom got pregnant with me, started smoking and took diet pills so as not to gain much weight - this was with the doctors approval! I weighed 6lbs.9oz , and I am surprised my brain works.
My mother is now 60, and I am 40. To this day she speaks about my weight - and she teaches exercise classes in FL. She wears a 4 or 6 - and I can see the disgust in her eyes when she looks at me. Oh, well.
The cycle has to be broken somewhere. I stopped the cycle with my kids, explainig they need to be comfortable with themselves (thank God they are boys), and that periods of chubbiness were 'God growing them out before he grew them up, because they would look funny with skin stretched over bones!'
The boys know to eat healthy, and my oldest is actually starting to do what he has been taught. The main thing for me was drilling self-esteem into their heads and letting them know the are unique and special and the media , peers, etc. have nothing to do with who they are.
Me, on the other hand - I still hear my mothers voice - and I must confess - I bought some laxatives yesterday. After going through my closet and finding my fat clothes didn't fit, I got deparate. I'll level out, I know. Broccoli and extra, extra water today, along with stopping food after 7:00 and not eating out of boredom.
I don't know if I am healthy or not - but when I started this thread the other day - I felt good about me - now, the pendulum has swung and I do not.
Day to days are a funny thing.
Oh, geez...what's a girl to do???
Me
Take a deep intense look at your mother next time you're with her, a complete sweep with your eyes to the point she notices, then tell her...
"Mom, you're getting a bit pudgy...have you thought of dieting?" When she responds with "what do you mean?", just walk away and say.."nothing..it's not important" and leave her to stew in it.
Then leave it at that. Your mom needs to feel her own medicine.
At some later point when your mom has had time to feel how unpleasant it is to be called fat and looked at with disgust and run it through her mind over and over to the point of obsession, tell her the truth.... you purposely behaved toward her as she's behaved towards you and to remember how it feels and never do it again.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Delusions of thin...and fat
This is only fifteen or twenty pounds; I can only imagine what other people must go through!
