During the Middle Ages, did men and women get married to each other when they were teenagers? (twenties, years)

[Aethalstad]

Yet another topic that I have been extremely curious about when it comes to the middle ages! Especially since I have been reading about it via books; and I kind of had a hard time believing that. Thus I would like some sort of verification on this

I heard that back in the middle ages (early 600s A.D. to 1400s A.D.), boys as young 14 young got married to old to girls as young as 18 years old.

Sometimes even out of love..

I really wish to know if this is true or not! Cause if it is, then did age not really matter back then when it came to marriage? May it have been out of love or not?

It really wouldn't surprise me if it's true, given the time perioud but still.

[Ummagumma]

Originally Posted by Aethalstad

Yet another topic that I have been extremely curious about when it comes to the middle ages! Especially since I have been reading about it via books; and I kind of had a hard time believing that. Thus I would like some sort of verification on this

I heard that back in the middle ages (early 600s A.D. to 1400s A.D.), boys as young 14 young got married to old to girls as young as 18 years old.

Sometimes even out of love..

I really wish to know if this is true or not! Cause if it is, then did age not really matter back then when it came to marriage? May it have been out of love or not?

It really wouldn't surprise me if it's true, given the time perioud but still.

600 to 1200 AD is not the period I know well.

After that, I believe that in the High to Late Middle the marriages among the nobility, were almost always pre-arranged, sometimes early on, and love had little to do with it. So the marriage of two teenagers 4 years apart would not be anything out of ordinary. Although from what I read it wasn't really common, at least in Western Europe, to marry at a really early age. More like 16-24 for women and even older for men. Also a lot of times they did "bethronals" if that's the right term - basically signing contracts for their still young kids to marry at a later date.

I think that among the non-royal nobility of Western Europe, it became more or less customary to obtain the bride's agreement roughly by Late Middle Ages. Before that, they were pretty much told by their parents whom to marry. But I may be wrong.

[Hollytree]

Reminds me of the old British folk song:

The Trees they do grow High…

The trees they grow high,
the leaves they do grow green
Many is the time my true love I've seen
Many an hour I have watched him all alone
He's young,
but he's daily growing.

Father, dear father,
you've done me great wrong
You have married me to a boy who is too young
I'm twice twelve and he is but fourteen
He's young,
but he's daily growing.

Daughter, dear daughter,
I've done you no wrong
I have married you to a great lord's son
He'll be a man for you when I am dead and gone
He's young,
but he's daily growing.

Father, dear father, if you see fit
We'll send him to college for another year yet
I'll tie blue ribbons all around his head
To let the maidens know that he's married.

One day I was looking o'er my father's castle wall
I spied all the boys a-playing at the ball
My own true love was the flower of them all
He's young, but he's daily growing.

And so early in the morning
at the dawning of the day
They went out into the hayfield
to have some sport and play;
And what they did there,
she never would declare
But she never more complained of his growing.

At the age of fourteen, he was a married man
At the age of fifteen, the father of a son
At the age of sixteen, his grave it was green
Have gone, to be wasted in battle.
And death had put an end to his growing.

I'll buy my love some flannel
and I will make a shroud
With every stitch I put in it,
the tears they will pour down
With every stitch I put in it,
how the tears will flow
Cruel fate has put an end to his growing.

[MrsRosencranz]

Margaret Beaufort was married to Edmund Tudor at twelve and gave birth to her son Henry at the age of thirteen. Though she married 3 more times after his death she never bore another child so her early birth must have messed with her system.

The average peasant stock waited until they were in their late teens or twenties to marry but the nobility and royal families often pledged their children to betrothments when they were 2-10 and there was much waiting until the children reached reproductive age when they were married.

[melaniej65]

Hollytree~

Altan has a beautiful version of "Daily Growing".

https://youtu.be/8Q1rYF14Hi4

[melaniej65]

For most noble families children were betrothed as mentioned above often from the cradle. Often the girls were sent to live with the boy's family so that she could be raised exactly the way his family wished. Sometimes they were actually married but not bedded until she had her first menses.

These marriages were for alliances and united great families; love had no place in these unions. If they were lucky they liked each other and might grow fond of each other, but it did not matter if they hated each other.

Even amongst the lower classes there was an hierarchy and there was rarely mobility between these hierarchies.

[Cryptic]

Originally Posted by melaniej65

These marriages were for alliances and united great families; love had no place in these unions. If they were lucky they liked each other and might grow fond of each other, but it did not matter if they hated each other.

I would not be surprised if most lower class marriages were also arranged for the same reasons (just on smaller scales).

In other cases, there might have been limited choice: We want to enhance small scale agricultural business "X' by marrying a family that has asset "Z' and needs "X". So yes, Mary, you can marry freely. Just pick any of the available Porter boys. There are four of them to choose from... .

[nightbird47]

Marriage as we see it didn't exist. It was a method of joining families and interests. A daughter was a means of linking the interests of a family with others. A daughter of a higher up family was married to the son of one which best enhansed the interests of both.

Marriage often happened in the teens. Remember Juliet is fourteen and Romeo sixteen. Both's families were planning marriage. She was already being arrainged to marry Tybalt. Shakespeare didn't make this up, but followed the normal conventions of the time.

In the merchantile class, the early merchants and tradesmen, joining families was also practiced, strengthening bonds between families and sealing commercial deals. For pesants, marriage was about giving family the best chance, and there were even layers within pesants.

We didn't start marrying those we chose until centuries later, especially in the upper classes. "Suitable" marriages in the upper class of Europe were still the rule in the turn of the 19th to the 20th century.

[NJGOAT]

Good article summarizing much of what was said from a legit source:

Decameron Web | Society

[JedlaRoche]

It would not be surprising knowing that the average life expectancy during the middle age is thought to be around 20-30 years (excluding deaths happening before being 1 years old). But of course, rich families grew much older than poor ones.