Yes ma'am/No ma'am culture

[Vicman]

Originally Posted by Huskies7

It's also very awkward to be called ma'am at 37 years old. Where I come from, you save that for the very very old women - like nursing home age. When I have women 5 years younger than me calling me ma'am, it is very weird. We're only a few years apart - why are you calling me an "old woman"?

Originally Posted by swopoe

Agree with the above. I am 43 and feel really awkward when someone calls me ma’m. I was raised to be very respectful, and my kids are all very respectful, we just don’t call people sir and ma’m.

This dilemma is baked into French, where it's mademoiselle versus madame.

What age do you think ma'am or madam is expected, and whether this differs between married or unmarried women?

[Danbo1957]

A man says ma’am to any woman five years older than he, and to any woman in an authority position (mother, aunt, teacher, et.)

[westhou]

I'm in my 30s and I hate when people call me sir. Makes me feel old. Especially when they say it over and over in the same conversation. Makes me feel like an authority figure and they are in trouble. Just say yes or no.

[texas7]

I taught my kids to use ma’am and sir and glad I did. I like it.

[texas7]

Originally Posted by Treasurevalley92

"Bless your heart" is also seemingly a polite thing to say and that is almost always sarcastic.

You don't need to use formalities in regular conversation to be polite.

I’ve never heard The term bless your heart used sarcastically.

[Ivory Lee Spurlock]

I don't get why anybody would be offended being called, ma'am or sir. It comes from a good place. It's good manners and most people appreciate the respect and consideration. It's a good reflection on the family as a whole when everybody in the family is respectful, polite, and mannerly and a good reflection on the parents in particular who raise their children to be respectful, polite and mannerly. When a person is out in public, each individual person is a representative of a group of people. We represent our families, our schools, our cities, towns and states, we represent our race, religion, sex, gender, whether we want to or not. People who take offense to being called "ma'am" and "sir" is bordering on self-centeredness and narcism. It's so much more pleasant to live in a world that gets a strangers attention as "Sir" or "Ma'am" instead of a "Hey, you"

I'm a big believer in consistency and that is why I have to ask the people who take offense at being called ma'am or sir, are they equally offended when their nieces and nephews call them "Uncle so-and-so" or "Aunt so-and-so"? Do these people also raise their kids to address their school teacher by their teachers 1st name instead of addressing them with the moniker Mr, Mrs, Miss or Ms in front of the teacher's last name?

[Vicman]

I think there are more complexities, particularly in regards to different situations and age groups. I knew someone who went to France in his 20s in a study abroad program, and when he used "bonjour" at a party with twenty somethings, he was told that it sounds too formal - use "salut" instead.

Young men in their 20s just hanging out, even when they are strangers to each other, aren't expected to use overly formal language at a party like that. However if the same young man is addressing a new boss (who he has not adjusted yet to), and/or is working in a service position (especially when the atmosphere is relatively formal), then the language changes.

But, yeah, I don't expect young men who are strangers to each other to use "excuse me, sir" in an overly casual situation like a party.

Originally Posted by Ivory Lee Spurlock

I don't get why anybody would be offended being called, ma'am or sir. It comes from a good place. It's good manners and most people appreciate the respect and consideration. It's a good reflection on the family as a whole when everybody in the family is respectful, polite, and mannerly and a good reflection on the parents in particular who raise their children to be respectful, polite and mannerly. When a person is out in public, each individual person is a representative of a group of people. We represent our families, our schools, our cities, towns and states, we represent our race, religion, sex, gender, whether we want to or not. People who take offense to being called "ma'am" and "sir" is bordering on self-centeredness and narcism. It's so much more pleasant to live in a world that gets a strangers attention as "Sir" or "Ma'am" instead of a "Hey, you"

I'm a big believer in consistency and that is why I have to ask the people who take offense at being called ma'am or sir, are they equally offended when their nieces and nephews call them "Uncle so-and-so" or "Aunt so-and-so"? Do these people also raise their kids to address their school teacher by their teachers 1st name instead of addressing them with the moniker Mr, Mrs, Miss or Ms in front of the teacher's last name?