Undecided about Iowa (Des Moines, Iowa City, Council Bluffs: home, neighborhood, tenants)

[2BorNotinIowa]

I am still making up my mind about Iowa. I have lived in Des Moines for 4 years now. I decided to move here after living in Iowa City for 3 years while doing my graduate work at UI. I have a good job (non-management) at a large financial institution here. I am dismayed by the attitudes and behavior of the vast majority of people I work with. While they reflect a wide socio-economic and age demographic, most are willfully ignorant, functionally illiterate (yet paradoxically dismissive of the importance of education), have a total lack of curiosity about the world outside of Des Moines, and/or are unable to express themselves clearly and efficiently. Iowa is supposed to have a good school system, but from what I have seen, it is clearly not being well-represented by its graduates. I am a single, 59 year old woman with a broad life experience and active lifestyle, but while I get along with the people at work, there isn't a single person in my very large department with whom I have anything in common. It is very disappointing.

It has been very hard to make friends here. I am not sure why. I have never had this problem before.

On the plus side, Iowa is safe with a good cost of living. But apart from that, I am having a hard time justifying staying here which makes me sad. I have been trying to put down roots and make connections here through common interests and volunteer work, but I am almost ready to give it up and move back east. To be fair, some of my discontent has nothing to do with Iowa. I miss the museums, progressive attitudes, and food of the east coast, but I could deal with these issues if I was happier here.

I don't mean to make this sound like I am drowning in pity or that I am slamming Iowa, but I am trying to come to terms with Iowa and either make my peace with staying here or relocating, which I really don't want to do. Any thoughts or comments welcome.

[zz4guy]

If you aren't tied down here and don't have family why would you stay? 4 years and you can't break into the Iowa culture doesn't surprise me. I've heard the same stories from tenants I have who move here from other states. I usually encourage them to leave. This state is a dying wasteland of crappy weather, high taxes, no growth, and old people.

[WyoEagle]

This state is a dying wasteland of crappy weather, high taxes, no growth, and old people.

Unfortunately you are very right about the crappy weather, lack of growth and old people zz4guy. I lived in Iowa as a child and still have family there, most of whom are in Des Moines. I get the impression that the only cities that seem to be growing or at least holding their own are the Des Moines area, Ames, and the Iowa City area, possibly Council Bluffs. (Anyone feel free to chime in if I'm wrong.) I know this is an outsider with family's point of view, but I can see how Iowa would be heard to get used to. Although I think the people are very genuine, down to earth, friendly people, they seem to live in this bubble within the state. There seems to be a general belief that there isn't anything outside of Iowa. I am including my own family in this scenario.

[DMRyan]

^
This ray of sunshine is a fine example of that progressive attitude you alluded too that's found here in spades (luckily there seems to be less of them in Des Moines and Iowa City than in other parts of the state).


Best advice I could give is to keep giving clubs, organizations, or volunteer groups of interest some time to see if you can crack any nuts. Too bad about the coworkers, but it happens. I like the people I work with, but don't always want to hang out with them as friends after hours too. That's probably compounded by coworkers that have families and children to get home to.

What about taking a class at a local college, adult sports leagues, neighborhood organizations, etc.?

[DMRyan]

^
^
I meant the ray of sunshine above WyoEagle, but I suppose the same can apply to a transplant that hasn't lived here for some time, basing his/her experiences on living in a rural part of the state that is/has been dying for quite some time.

Quite honestly, do you think most of the struggling rural areas of any of the surrounding states are that much more promising?

[WyoEagle]

Originally Posted by DMRyan

^
^
I meant the ray of sunshine above WyoEagle, but I suppose the same can apply to a transplant that hasn't lived here for some time, basing his/her experiences on living in a rural part of the state that is/has been dying for quite some time.

Quite honestly, do you think most of the struggling rural areas of any of the surrounding states are that much more promising?

DMRyan, you are right that the surrounding states are not much different in that regard. Much of the Midwest and Great Plains are experiencing rural flight.

[GraniteStater]

^
If you want to see a severe example of rural flight go to Kansas. No one under the age of 50 in most of those towns. The ag operations have become so efficient and consolidated to such a degree that very little in the way of labor is needed on the farm and ranch. Most of the rural counties have gone back to "frontier" status with seven or fewer people per square mile. (Census Bureau defines a frontier county by that definition).

[zz4guy]

Originally Posted by DMRyan

^
This ray of sunshine is a fine example of that progressive attitude you alluded too that's found here in spades (luckily there seems to be less of them in Des Moines and Iowa City than in other parts of the state).


Best advice I could give is to keep giving clubs, organizations, or volunteer groups of interest some time to see if you can crack any nuts. Too bad about the coworkers, but it happens. I like the people I work with, but don't always want to hang out with them as friends after hours too. That's probably compounded by coworkers that have families and children to get home to.

What about taking a class at a local college, adult sports leagues, neighborhood organizations, etc.?

For crying out loud she lived in Des Moines for 4 years and, frankly it sucks. I guess DSM just isn't the open minded diverse metroplex everyone there thinks it is. At this point I think she owes herself a favor to try another state. Des Moines is pretty much a carbon copy of the rest of the state, but with more people and government. Same ignorant, backward thinking, nice and friendly, yet stupid people. Welcome to Iowa.

[DMRyan]

Obviously Iowa isn't for everybody, but I disagree strongly with your comments.

I bet you're just a joy to be around if your real life is as miserable as you come off on the internet.

[GraniteStater]

Originally Posted by zz4guy

For crying out loud she lived in Des Moines for 4 years and, frankly it sucks. I guess DSM just isn't the open minded diverse metroplex everyone there thinks it is. At this point I think she owes herself a favor to try another state. Des Moines is pretty much a carbon copy of the rest of the state, but with more people and government. Same ignorant, backward thinking, nice and friendly, yet stupid people. Welcome to Iowa.

I would live in Des Moines over Kansas City any day of the week. Large cities aren't for me.