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You will have a miserable time and you will probably do or say something that will irritate your son and his new bride. I'm sure he knows that your religious beliefs are different than his and that you take your religious beliefs very seriously, so he will understand why you choose not to attend.
If both you and your son learn to accept that you both have different beliefs and choose to live your lives in different ways, you will have a better relationship in the future.
What an absolutely disgusting and horrible thing to say. How can anyone who says such things believe they are "on the path"?
i am fine with what tff wrote, I know him and respect his views and where they are coming from. i love the teaching about children who are kidnapped and taken away and do not know they are Jews. Every time the Rabbi mentions it I weep, because it describes me growing up and how precious I am to Hashem, and that a whole group of people who don't even know me, have been deeply concerned about my well being, even when I did not know they existed.
we come from a long line of rebellious children. my Jewish mother rebelled against her upbringing and married a non-Jew. I rebelled against my secular upbringing and am now a religious Jew. My secular son is marrying a Catholic, i expect his children (my grandchildren) may rebel and want to be Jews themselves.
Hashem is in charge. we tend to have more in common with our grandparents than our parents, in our family anyway.
If you stay away.... someday your grandchildren will be looking at wedding pictures and..... Bubbie will be missing. You're going to tell a little four-year-old smoochie face that Bubbie didn't want to make the plane trip and religion was involved and and it was really far away and religion was involved and plane seats are uncomfortable and religion was involved and that's why Mommie and Daddy got married without her?
LOL
actually in that scenario it makes Bubbie much more interesting. where was she instead? what was she doing? what drama is behind the scenes? what story are they not telling me? what was the argument about? who said what? who got mad? what rules were broken? she was brave enough to defy both mommy AND daddy? i'm a hero before the kid is even born. i am also a walking advertisement for Judaism, which is an altogether good thing. "thou art a stiff necked people" aren't the most interesting stories about the people who stand up for what they believe?
and no four year old I have ever met is remotely interested in looking at old people in wedding pictures anyway. maybe a girl wants to see mommy's beautiful wedding dress and dress up in her jewelry, but other than that? not interested.
Go enjoy the wedding. He wants you there. Don't let your stubbornness derail your relationship with your son..
I don't know, I knew some people who went to a wedding in India, and let me tell you Mr., It was not pretty. Whoever heard of flying across the world for a wedding, does India have some kind of monopoly on wedding? And what do you bring as a gift to an Indian wedding? My friend Elaine came back from a wedding in India with bandages on her face, I just don't know.
I don't know, I knew some people who went to a wedding in India, and let me tell you Mr., It was not pretty. Whoever heard of flying across the world for a wedding, does India have some kind of monopoly on wedding? And what do you bring as a gift to an Indian wedding? My friend Elaine came back from a wedding in India with bandages on her face, I just don't know.
actually in that scenario it makes Bubbie much more interesting. where was she instead? what was she doing? what drama is behind the scenes? what story are they not telling me? what was the argument about? who said what? who got mad? what rules were broken? she was brave enough to defy both mommy AND daddy? i'm a hero before the kid is even born. i am also a walking advertisement for Judaism, which is an altogether good thing. "thou art a stiff necked people" aren't the most interesting stories about the people who stand up for what they believe?
and no four year old I have ever met is remotely interested in looking at old people in wedding pictures anyway. maybe a girl wants to see mommy's beautiful wedding dress and dress up in her jewelry, but other than that? not interested.
So that part got your attention......but not the part about doing things for the people we love?
OK. It's obvious you will not go. I have no idea why you would feel pride in defying your own son and his wife but....whatever.
Here's how you graciously decline the invitation: "Thank you for inviting me. I will be unable to attend."
Last edited by DewDropInn; 09-01-2015 at 06:58 PM..
You will have a miserable time and you will probably do or say something that will irritate your son and his new bride. I'm sure he knows that your religious beliefs are different than his and that you take your religious beliefs very seriously, so he will understand why you choose not to attend.
i have considered this myself, hiker makes a really good point and I agree with him.
my experience is that my intuition is extremely reliable which is why i do not (anymore) over-ride it. ever. in the past without exception every time I did over-ride it there were disastrous results. really bad. life-threatening. so while it is a very reliable "early warning system" for me, it is not an exact science about the specific nature of what will go wrong should I decide to over ride it.
Let's say I get sick, lets say I get injured, God forbid. That would detract from and blemish the happiness of the wedding far more. Can you imagine the black cloud that would hang over their marriage if something happened to me during the trip? yes, your mom was injured....at our wedding....that we insisted she attend....even though she did not want to....
i would much rather they be mad at me for some odd eccentricity "crazy mom and her hunches" than for me to come to harm and them to feel responsible.
even the people in my family who are not fond of me (ex-husband for instance) have a strange respect and regard for when I get a feeling about something.
that is in Torah too, that a small "bad thing" happening can be a way to prevent a larger "worse" thing happening. a harsh decree can be mitigated into something smaller.
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