Wellesley, Concord, Lincoln, or Dover? (Boston, Cambridge: houses, private schools, live in)

[OldGrotonian]

My wife and I live in Beacon Hill and have decided to move into the suburbs. We've two children, both of whom will be sent to private schools. I work in Boston and she works in Cambridge, so we'd like a place that has decent public transportation to both cities. Our budget is 1.25m. We're currently between Dover, Concord, Lincoln, and Wellesley.
Culturally, we'd like a place were people aren't very showy with their money. That was our problem with Weston; it was so obnoxiously nouveau riche that you couldn't throw a rock without hitting a McMansion. I understand that there will always be people like this in any rich town, but we'd like somewhere with a more understated atmosphere. Also, we want a place that has things to do. My wife is worried that Dover and Lincoln, being rural towns with populations under 7,000, will just have little in terms of shops, restaurants, entertainment, etc. Lastly, we'd also like a place in which people are well-read and enjoy intelligent conversation in lieu of mere small talk.
Thanks in advance for the insight and advise, and sorry if the post is asking for too much. We just want to make the right choice.

[wolfgang239]

It sounds like you are looking for either Concord or Lincoln. Your wife is correct, there isn't much to do in Lincoln. Concord has a downtown (two, really if you include West Concord) with shops and restaurants. Lincoln has a restaurant, a coffee shop and that is about it. Both towns are served by the Fitchburg commuter line with stops in West Concord, Concord and Lincoln. Porter and North Station are both served by this line. From Lincoln you could also commute down Route 2 in 15-30 minutes and get on the Red Line at Alewife.

I'm curious what motivates you to move. If you own a car it is incredibly easy to get into Cambridge from Lincoln. You could solve the issue of entertainment/restaurants by just going to Waltham, Cambridge or Somerville. Outside of rush hour you can be on Newbury St. in just over a half hour.

Concord definitely has more in the way of restaurants and businesses. Things are slightly less isolated, but unless you aren't near the downtown areas or utilizing them regularly I would trade Concord for a better commute.

There are a few other considerations such as where in Boston you work, how often you actually go out, the level of isolation you want to deal with, etc. Dover vs. Wellesley are in many ways analogues to the Lincoln vs. Concord debate above.

[tysmith95]

If you want more to do why don't you look further in. Somewhere like Lexington, Belmont, or Newton would work.

[MikePRU]

I always felt while people in Weston lived well but they weren't snobby about having money. If you think Weston was snobby then you'll find Wellesley to be off the charts in that aspect. I would definitely cross it off the list. Also, as your wife guessed there's really not much in Lincoln or Dover aside from trees and houses. So, if she needs shops/restaurants then I would look elsewhere.

Also, judging by your post I'd say you'd be very comfortable in Concord.

[OldGrotonian]

We want to move so we can raise our kids in the suburbs.
Just from curiosity, why did you narrow it down to Concord and Lincoln? What about Wellesley or Dover didn't fit?

[OldGrotonian]

Originally Posted by MikePRU

I always felt while people in Weston lived well but they weren't snobby about having money. If you think Weston was snobby then you'll find Wellesley to be off the charts in that aspect. I would definitely cross it off the list. Also, as your wife guessed there's really not much in Lincoln or Dover aside from trees and houses. So, if she needs shops/restaurants then I would look elsewhere.

Also, judging by your post I'd say you'd be very comfortable in Concord.

It's not so much that people in Weston are snobby as much as showy and obnoxious. It's just a very new money sort of town and there is a lot of ostentatious display of riches. I'd just like a place where people are a bit more understated with their money.
Also, would youbsay there is a difference in this aspect when comparing Wellesley Hills, Wellesley Farms, or Welllesley Square?

[SalamanderSmile]

Wellesley is more subject to ostentatious displays of wealth than Weston by far. I think Concord would fit your bill nicely. Lincoln, while lovely has very little to do and Dover is essentially rural. You haven't mentioned WHERE the kids will go to private school so that could play a role in what people would recommend as well. Keep in mind that the actual value of raising your kids in the suburbs is drastically diminished by only seeing them for an hour a day due to onerous work or school commutes.

Beacon Hill to Concord is a DRASTIC change, maybe split the difference and do Arlington or Newton? I would even say Waltham since you are doing private school, but it can be quite townie and the literate conversation you seek (with whom btw? your neighbors likely won't talk to you (boston cold shoulder) and you won't be using the schools to meet people so I am not sure who you imagine talking to?) will be elusive.

[OldGrotonian]

Originally Posted by SalamanderSmile

Wellesley is more subject to ostentatious displays of wealth than Weston by far. I think Concord would fit your bill nicely. Lincoln, while lovely has very little to do and Dover is essentially rural. You haven't mentioned WHERE the kids will go to private school so that could play a role in what people would recommend as well. Keep in mind that the actual value of raising your kids in the suburbs is drastically diminished by only seeing them for an hour a day due to onerous work or school commutes.

Beacon Hill to Concord is a DRASTIC change, maybe split the difference and do Arlington or Newton? I would even say Waltham since you are doing private school, but it can be quite townie and the literate conversation you seek (with whom btw? your neighbors likely won't talk to you (boston cold shoulder) and you won't be using the schools to meet people so I am not sure who you imagine talking to?) will be elusive.

These are all very good points and I do apologize for not stating where the kids would go to school.
One goes to Southfield in Brookline and the other will go to Fessenden in Newton.

[495neighbor]

Originally Posted by OldGrotonian

It's not so much that people in Weston are snobby as much as showy and obnoxious. It's just a very new money sort of town and there is a lot of ostentatious display of riches. I'd just like a place where people are a bit more understated with their money.
Also, would youbsay there is a difference in this aspect when comparing Wellesley Hills, Wellesley Farms, or Welllesley Square?

Least to most showy

Wellesley Square
Wellesley Hills (except the area around Volante Farms and the Country Club)
Wellesley Farms

I visited Volante Farms a few times and had to laugh. There were women dressed to the 9's and in fur coats shopping at a farm stand. Never have I seen such as display at Verrill Farms in Concord or Wilson Farm in Lexington or Idlewild in Acton.

Brothers Market in Medfield is an interesting shopping experience too. Everyone is beautiful and wearing the perfect clothing to the point I feel like I'm on a movie set and not in a grocery store. I assume many of these patrons are from Dover, since Dover only has that little market and one pizza parlor in their center.

The north side of Weston is much more understated than the South side, quite similar politically and style to Lincoln.

[495neighbor]

Per your criteria, the four towns from most to least that you will like

Concord
Wellesley (especially Square and part of Hills)
Lincoln
Dover

Dover is laid out a lot like Weston only without main roads. The houses are all set back far from the road, no sidewalks.