Buying a house by the ocean and renting a small room because of long commute. Are we crazy?
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^The water is nowhere near that blue at Crane's Beach (or any beach in New England).
That photo looks like Instagram (i.e. oversaturated and focus-tilted). It's also over-sharpened even at its very modest resolution. Any relation to the actual scene is probably unintentional.
We get it, you are a strong proponent for a move to the North Shore. No one said the north shore was bad, but the OP wants to live closer to aging family and relocate to a better school district.
You posted that one sentence from my entire post and as it stands alone, it is way out of context.
I agree with CCTodd. Obviously you can't put a price on happiness and the benefits of having family close by. What you can put a price on is education.
Based on your comments, your pied a terre will cost about $3600 per year. (obviously you will also see savings on gas and wear and tear on your car so it will end up costing less when you deduct those costs). You have 2 kids? If you put that $3600 into the bank, by the time they go to college you will have saved about $14,000. That's a measly $7,000 each or $1750 for each year of college.
Sending your kids to a better high school than where you are now located is a better investment than banking that $14,000. Your kids will be in a community where people see the value of education and in a school system that will provide your children with better opportunities.
To be totally blunt, the average student in an average or below average school system has a more difficult time getting into schools and receiving merit scholarships than the average student in a better than average school system. When colleges consider a student, the rigor of the academics are considered and that goes for both a students transcipt and the high school as a whole.
Someone is ultimately going to tell you "Well a kid got into Harvard, Princeton blah blah blah from lousy district X." It does happen but kids like that are an anomaly. Those cases speak more to the intelligence and tenacity of the student and often their parents than the school. The true measure of a school system is where the average, college bound student ends up and what those students' rate of success is in college.
Do what is best for your family as a whole. Education is an investment no matter how you look at it and it would seem this move will help you invest in your children's high school education.
I don't think the argument is that education isn't a worthwhile investment, it's that the quality of education probably varies less than the underlying motivation of the population in general. In higher-performing districts a larger proportion of the students are driven to perform (likely by their parents), resulting in higher performance on standardized tests. In that sense, standardized tests aren't testing the quality of the education but rather the quality of the students. The same is likely true at a place like Harvard. The professors there aren't better teachers (in fact, Harvard typically selects against good teachers when choosing faculty by emphasizing research). Harvard can be extremely selective when choosing their students and so they generally get the best students coming so they get some of the best students coming out. Certainly being at such an elite institution can have positive effects on motivation and work-ethic, but being mediocre as compared to your peers can also have a negative effect, depending on the person.
The question that is more difficult to answer, and more relevant for a parent is: given the motivation and ability of a single student, how well with that student learn at a given school. I don't know of any good metrics for measuring that.
To ask the obvious, can you apply for a job closer to the Cape? I can understand being attached to a job after 25 years, but if you want to live an hour and a half away, maybe it's time to look for someplace new. Your pied-a-terre idea could be more of a stop-gap solution until you find the right job.
To ask the obvious, can you apply for a job closer to the Cape? I can understand being attached to a job after 25 years, but if you want to live an hour and a half away, maybe it's time to look for someplace new. Your pied-a-terre idea could be more of a stop-gap solution until you find the right job.
That would be the better solution but high tech electronic jobs are not abundant in that area even with a good economy.
I still think the OP's idea is a good one, if can find a room that can fit into the budget. It sounds like he doesn't have time on work days to do family things even if he lives with them, due to the long commute, etc. I still think having a home where one really feels at home is a great idea for all, and the room situation isn't forever. As OP points out, the kind of job he has that supports the family isn't available down the Cape way.
I'd do it if my wife/family wasn't horrified by the idea.
I don't think the argument is that education isn't a worthwhile investment, it's that the quality of education probably varies less than the underlying motivation of the population in general. In higher-performing districts a larger proportion of the students are driven to perform (likely by their parents), resulting in higher performance on standardized tests. In that sense, standardized tests aren't testing the quality of the education but rather the quality of the students. The same is likely true at a place like Harvard. The professors there aren't better teachers (in fact, Harvard typically selects against good teachers when choosing faculty by emphasizing research). Harvard can be extremely selective when choosing their students and so they generally get the best students coming so they get some of the best students coming out. Certainly being at such an elite institution can have positive effects on motivation and work-ethic, but being mediocre as compared to your peers can also have a negative effect, depending on the person.
The question that is more difficult to answer, and more relevant for a parent is: given the motivation and ability of a single student, how well with that student learn at a given school. I don't know of any good metrics for measuring that.
I know the metrics for that. Dr Seuss said it best. "Wherever you go, there YOU are.". It is just very important to know who YOU are. I have been in the situation the OP is in regard to our children's education. We moved our kids from a low performing district to a well performing district. We investigated the most lauded districts on the south shore but knew they weren't right for our kids and settled on a good district in a community that we felt would be a good fit for our family. We got a great deal of backlash when we moved. I was very involved in town but saw that the community,like many rested on the laurels of the most successful students and took their accomplishments as an indication of excellence of the school system. I am sure the OP is hearing much of the same.
I will refute your comments about standardized tests. My student(s) did not perform well on standardized tests. One year in our new district they did very well. Two years they were performing "advanced" on standardized tests. SAT tests, one of my children, with a very mediocre GPA scored700-800points higher than friends at our previous school system who were1-1.5 GPA points higher. My kids and the kids I am comparing to them in their old district are very much alike. Good kids but blissfully average students with supportive parents. The difference is not in intelligence but opportunity, school environment and the level of rigor. It's fairly simple, my kids had to work harder for a C than their counterparts in the other system did for a B. I've seen it play out in college acceptances too. Average students from our new district go to the same colleges that top students do in our old district.
While I agree that parents have a huge impact on school performance, the school environment has an even greater one. I also agree much of that is brought to school by students whose parents drive them to success but I also see it in the average kid who wants to succeed and is self motivated to do so. When you are in a positive learning environment, with students that value education, and teachers who believe "college prep" level courses are to prepare students for college, not remediation it has an impact on student performance and challenges the average student. My point to the OP about education being a good investment was not to convince anyone of that but in response to those who suggested he stay in his low performing district and save his money for college. I believe spending the money to send a child to a better school district is a good investment. The important thing is that is is better for THEM not just on paper.
I know the metrics for that. Dr Seuss said it best. "Wherever you go, there YOU are.". It is just very important to know who YOU are. I have been in the situation the OP is in regard to our children's education. We moved our kids from a low performing district to a well performing district. We investigated the most lauded districts on the south shore but knew they weren't right for our kids and settled on a good district in a community that we felt would be a good fit for our family. We got a great deal of backlash when we moved. I was very involved in town but saw that the community,like many rested on the laurels of the most successful students and took their accomplishments as an indication of excellence of the school system. I am sure the OP is hearing much of the same.
I will refute your comments about standardized tests. My student(s) did not perform well on standardized tests. One year in our new district they did very well. Two years they were performing "advanced" on standardized tests. SAT tests, one of my children, with a very mediocre GPA scored700-800points higher than friends at our previous school system who were1-1.5 GPA points higher. My kids and the kids I am comparing to them in their old district are very much alike. Good kids but blissfully average students with supportive parents. The difference is not in intelligence but opportunity, school environment and the level of rigor. It's fairly simple, my kids had to work harder for a C than their counterparts in the other system did for a B. I've seen it play out in college acceptances too. Average students from our new district go to the same colleges that top students do in our old district.
While I agree that parents have a huge impact on school performance, the school environment has an even greater one. I also agree much of that is brought to school by students whose parents drive them to success but I also see it in the average kid who wants to succeed and is self motivated to do so. When you are in a positive learning environment, with students that value education, and teachers who believe "college prep" level courses are to prepare students for college, not remediation it has an impact on student performance and challenges the average student. My point to the OP about education being a good investment was not to convince anyone of that but in response to those who suggested he stay in his low performing district and save his money for college. I believe spending the money to send a child to a better school district is a good investment. The important thing is that is is better for THEM not just on paper.
Beachcomber4, I think you read my mind on your opinions above which I agree with.
In a nut shell on one side of the scale I have a better high school/better town/close to aging relatives/ family desire to live by ocean and the other side of the scale is the extra cost to rent and a few nights away from the family each week. Yes, some people don't understand how I could possibly even consider moving to a place where I would be forced to stay away a few nights a week from my family but there is added value to my kids education tucked in there too.
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