News, Internet chatrooms can help those in distress, says study (depression, smoking)

[JD59]

Internet forums and chatrooms can have positive effects that should be more widely acknowledged, experts say.

The call comes after Oxford University researchers carried out an analysis of 14 different studies looking at how young people use the internet.

BBC News - Internet chatrooms can help those in distress, says study

[stan4]

No doubt.
In the days of IRC and even today, I think there are some people who wouldn't have friends if it weren't for their chat rooms.

[cloven]

Having online interaction can be viewed differently depending on one's outlook.

On the one hand, one could say "Oh, how sad, you don't have enough real-life (offline) life and friends, so you spend most of your time online".
On the other hand, one could just as easily say "Oh, that's great that you have support and conversation from the internet, since your offline life is so lacking."

In other words, having online social exchange can be seen as symptom of a problem
or it can be seen as a partial solution/creative coping mechanism
for the physical isolation and dislocation many people are feeling in modern society/culture.

Of course, it also depends on the quality and content of the responses one gets from posters on a message board
or in a chat thread (I don't do chatrooms, so I can't address that).
People can be harassed and shamed online, but people can also be supported and uplifted online-
it's not all good or all bad-same as with any method of communication, it has potential benefits and possible hazards.

[nightbird47]

Some of us just aren't big on being out there meeting people, and having boring conversations about things which don't interest us. I find a lot of my interests are outside the mainstream, and even if I was out there I wouldn't find many like minds. But I do online. Most of my friends were met that way.

I think for some of us message boards, er the GOOD ones, are the townsquare which has people like us who like the stuff which most just stare at you about.

I loved the CBS Jericho board, and became a 'noted' poster (especially for not participating in feuds) and it was my great joy to actually meet a lof of those I had been typing to for months.

[tamiznluv]

Some people, like myself, are only children, they are adult orphans and their spouse has died. So never having a great deal of friends and those I have/had are dying also, where does one go to get support? On line. I've always had a small, insular life and I keep it that way in cyberspace too. I have 5 members in my online world. I'm telling you though, the Grief and Mourning forum here kept me from killing myself when my husband died. Those who helped me know me better than anyone IRL now.

Lucky you, nightbird! No one I've cared to meet has ever been close enough to me. My cyber buddies are all across America and Canada. I can't travel because of my animals too.

[todd00]

It's hit and miss on boards and chat rooms. The old Yahoo depression rooms always were made up mostly of people playing games with bots, mean people, and a few that were decent and tried to be friendly and helpful. As the last group lessened due to the first 2 groups it became more and more useless.

The chats associated with the depression or health forums are also hit and miss. Sometimes the ones running the show play too much the power game and kick people off for an opinion on an off topic or just because they can. There are cliques among people too, so it's not always a welcoming experience.

These internet chatrooms have also been used to push those on the edge right off into the water. There was one person, years ago on YM chats that always suggested people go kill themselves. Yahoo did nothing about it at all. This has happened in other chats too.

I had a few friends from the chatrooms, we talked on the phone, they knew my life and I knew theirs, but they all faded away, don't know what's become of them now. These days, after being hurt too many times in life, I don't really want to put out to meet new people. Scratch the surface and you see it's not the sweet candy center you thought it was.

[nightbird47]

My mom died very suddenly, but for months Dad and I tried to get her to a doctor and she wouldn't go. Then suddenly she crumpled and died in front of me. Dad got cancer from smoking and had some kind of blockage in blood flow to his brain. He had a form of dementia which took him away before he died. I never really was able to deal with it.

But then a friend started talking about how she cared for her mother. She had terminal cancer, but was on hospice. My friend was the caregiver, and she had to face all the day by day things one has to deal with with a slow death. I missed those with Dad. And her mother was quite coherient. She just needed someone else to talk about these things to. We chatted on Yahoo for months every night. Sometimes it was so hard. But she helped me immeserably. I started to see how never having dealt with my parents death had blocked my dealing with their leaving. When her mother died, I was going to text her to see how her mother was, but then I just *knew* it was over. An hour later she left me a text that she'd died.

My friend is in a different state. And I don't know if it could have been the same if we'd been talking on a phone. That screen and the exactness of words as we type them, and invoke a different thought process, made a great difference in what we were able to say.

Without that chat I'd not have really forgiven Mom for just leaving us like that, and found acceptance that his final months, not remembering who he was, were in a nursing home. I could not have done that for him. And she wasn't alone.

I think that when its more directed and personal, but there is still a barrier, make a difference and without the chat option I think neither of us could have felt that support.

But I've been involved in message boards even way back when when they were entirely local on bbs's and that IS a significant part of my life too.

[TRosa]

I have real life friends and acquaintances that I spend time doing things with when I'm up to it. But the net is here to qualm my busy thoughts when I need it, it's a great distraction and for many a nice way to bond with others on various topics. Plus my trusted long time friends of 20 plus years don't live near by. There have been some very low moments, like holiday periods when I've come to places like this and found it's lifted my spirits since those that I looked forward to spending time with during those times have passed on. This place, and other forums in the past have been a life line in such instances. I could find other people to spend the holidays with, but, it just feels forced most of the time, so this year I'll likely stay home, at least on Thanksgiving. Just wish I could hibernate mid Nov till Jan 3 or so.

Also, I don't like spending more than a minute discussing what ails me with my friends, just not in me to lean hard on others, I prefer to take that up with a pro, plus some things only my sisters would understand.