Depression, anxiety feeling hopeless stuck in life (depressed, sleep, recovery)

[Lange92]

Hello all,

I posted a bit about myself in the board for my State (Wyoming.). However that was more of a location question and I discovered these boards had a mental health section. Wasn't aware of that. It's good to find this section. Anyway I've been in a huge rut for some time. I have been dealing with extreme anxiety and severe depression. When I was 18 moved to jr. College and thought anxiety was normal but I did that by going to college more because I needed to do something with my life and just couldn't be at home. I did and struggled and did many habits I have now although just didn't feel quite as bad. Since going there 2 years and came to transition to something else I had a breakdown and moved home. I live with my parents who have been providing for me or else idk what would happen.

Basically I felt too out of place to get jobs and unsure what else to do in a small community I mainly stayed at home. My life has been like this for some time. My last job was over a year ago. After trial and error and knowing my current method and lifestyle wasn't working I looked to seek help. I was informed by a friend who was around of services I could look to and did finally after several months. This would be my states workforce services. Since then I still have not gotten a job and it's been a very slow and discouraging process. In the meantime mental health wise I feel I've gotten worse. The testing they did diagnosed me with multiple anxiety and depressive disorders and my therpaist never diagnosed me with anything. I work with a job coach weekly but unfortunately nothing has come about yet. More below.

Been in the same therapy for off and on for three years and finally was brought more to my attention I should try something else. I did then proceed to go to a different services agency and I see someone new this week. Previously I was doing psychotherapy and nothing else. I would tell him often of my pain and things and he would just want to get to the bottom of it and not much else. Pretty disheartening overall. I wished I knew sooner maybe this therapy wasn't working before costing my family thousands of dollars. Is how it is though.

I also have energy issues and feel I have my whole life, but are worsened by the depression. Many days I just hate even waking up and sleep a lot out of tiredness or lack of modivation. I have had blood panels and they tell me nothing is wrong other than high blood sugar counts. I can't believe how much time has gone by with me wasting my life. It's been by in a blur and it shocks me. More time just keeps getting wasted in the same fashion. My energy levels scare me in maintaining employment as well or suffering at work.

My situation has caused a lot of family tension which is another issue in itself. My dad doesn't understand much at all and my mom tries but doesn't get it still completely. I have had verbal abuse and a lot of anger from my Dad but it's gotten to the point he more just doesn't engage with me about my problems as much. Which is good and for the better however still times and incidents of hurt between us.

I have gotten more and more anxious from being stagnant vs before more of the anxiety would come more from getting out there so I can't find much relief anywhere other than I'm very uncomfortable and anxious all day. This leads to possibly even more sleep to avoid that feeling. I'm suffering a lot mentally.

I just don't know anymore. I'm not suicidal but crosses my mind often. I feel sick with no cure and I know my thought process is messed up making it all worse. I just suffer watching my life waste away and time gone while I get nowhere in life.

Thank you all.

[snowmantis]

Hello Lange92,

I think you should socialise more. Make new friends, go outside more frequently, workout regularly. There was a time when I was jobless and I was badly depressed. And trust me, doing such things helped me a lot for reducing stress and moreover it helped me to get out of that.

Remember that "An idle mind is the devil's workshop". So keep yourself busy.

Hope this will help you.

[d0fuw1m362]

Originally Posted by Lange92

Hello all,



I also have energy issues and feel I have my whole life, but are worsened by the depression. Many days I just hate even waking up and sleep a lot out of tiredness or lack of modivation. I have had blood panels and they tell me nothing is wrong other than high blood sugar counts. I can't believe how much time has gone by with me wasting my life. It's been by in a blur and it shocks me. More time just keeps getting wasted in the same fashion. My energy levels scare me in maintaining employment as well or suffering at work.

My situation has caused a lot of family tension which is another issue in itself. My dad doesn't understand much at all and my mom tries but doesn't get it still completely. I have had verbal abuse and a lot of anger from my Dad but it's gotten to the point he more just doesn't engage with me about my problems as much. Which is good and for the better however still times and incidents of hurt between us.

I have gotten more and more anxious from being stagnant vs before more of the anxiety would come more from getting out there so I can't find much relief anywhere other than I'm very uncomfortable and anxious all day. This leads to possibly even more sleep to avoid that feeling. I'm suffering a lot mentally.

I just don't know anymore. I'm not suicidal but crosses my mind often. I feel sick with no cure and I know my thought process is messed up making it all worse. I just suffer watching my life waste away and time gone while I get nowhere in life.

Thank you all.

Hello my dear

I too have gone through periods of anxiety and depression and have been utilising psycho-analytical therapists and CBT therapists too in the past. They supported me to start looking inwards and finding more out about myself. I was unhappy with my own self-worth and self-image and took all my lifes issues as more reasons to dislike myself. This I realised was not healthy and after many sessions and a lot of support from my darling wife I realised that there were parts of the jigsaw that made me what I am that I have to live with AND that they are OK! You are a beautiful person and obviously a deeply caring person who feels life deeply. You say that you are suffering and this comes through in your post loud and clear - but dont let this be what defines you. What defines you is the whole picture of who and what you are and if you can accept this without attaching blame to yourself then you are on the path to recovery. I will not condescend you and tell you that it is easy - it is very hard, but well worth it in the end. the people who REALLY care about you will accept this whole picture of you and help you to see that you are a beautiful, worthy person who happens to have mental issues. True friends/allies will not stigmatise you, they will support you as you continue to grow until you can see your inner beauty for yourself. Please stick with the therapy even though its hard, and may whatever faith you have sustain you through this period - it will get better in that you will learn to manage your issues in a positive manner. My wife and I wish you all good luck in the future.