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I see what you're saying (although one of the men I'm not in a relationship with; the others I was). Nah, they liked being cranky. It was their way of being intimidating and not really being into the relationship, I discovered. No amount of jumping through hoops was going to make them un-surly in the morning. The only reason I'm thinking about it now is because I live with someone who is grouchy in the morning. Usually until about 9 a.m., sometimes until noon. I simply do my best to avoid during those times.
I do think you 're correct about men getting up before they're mentally ready.
And then there's the a.m. lumber thing. Whether short-term or long-term due to specific circumstances. I do think that is a major factor for a lot of men.
Personally I don't see a gender correlation in my experience.
I think there are 2 main factors in how "grumpy" a person is in the AM:
1) Your general attitude towards life. My brother and father are always bitter or critical about things in life. They are already "unhappy" when fully awake, can you imagine how much more they are when they 1st wake up? I'm naturally a upbeat kind of person - "live and let live" kinda person. My dad and brother are the opposite, they criticize EVERYONE. I almost never wake up grumpy. Stressed maybe, but not grumpy (unless there is a true reason to be - loud idiots outside @ 2am).
2) Some people are naturally more "effective" in the mornings, while others are more night people. My brother and sister are definitely PM people and I am 100% an AM person. I can get a bit grumpy @ night if I'm super tired and somebody is bothering me.
I have gone to camping / cottage trips with my friends and none of the guys exhibit any level of grouchiness in the morning. Well maybe a bit hung over lol.
Some people are just very irritable to begin with. My brother is the classic example. He is egocentric, very judgmental of others and I truly think he only cares about himself. Throw in the fact that he is a night person, he literally wakes up every morning with a chip on his shoulder... yeah a horrible person to live with.
You bring up some very good and important points. Looking back, the men who were (still are?) grouchy in the morning are negative, critical and judgmental people. My brother is not a morning person and he was a bit grouchy when younger but now that he is retired, he wakes up late (9-ish?) and is happy straight out of sleep. No work = no stress = relaxation and enjoyment.
I wonder if it's possible to change. I don't really think so. Our bodies have circadian rhythms and other genetic factors. There are times when I have stayed up super late with a movie, or a book or studies. It seemed to come naturally. But mornings are special, just like the nighttime and the dark are special to others.
Night person here. I never liked getting up early but I did it when I was working--just barely. I was in a daze and I used to joke that no one should speak to me before 10am. I just wasn't wide awake until around 10.
Now that I'm retired I'll stay up most of the night sometimes if I'm doing something interesting or I'll go to bed at around 11pm. I enjoy the quiet mornings (not early ones) with a cup of coffee, reading the news online, straightening up the kitchen, maybe throwing in a load of laundry, being alone and quiet. Then I have to take the dog out and my day changes into active mode.
I have always felt best after 2 in the afternoon and up until around 11pm. I hate that I miss out on group activities that begin too early for me in the morning but I would be in a daze if I went and I'd probably be tired all day from getting up at an hour that isn't natural for me. It is what it is. I don't think I'm a grouch.
^See, that's exactly what I'm getting at! I'm at my best in the morning and I start running down about 5 p.m. but other people wind up and they're their best in the afternoon. I think it's definitely down to genetics, circadian rhythms and such.
Some non morning people are better able to be cheerful in the morning.
^See, that's exactly what I'm getting at! I'm at my best in the morning and I start running down about 5 p.m. but other people wind up and they're their best in the afternoon. I think it's definitely down to genetics, circadian rhythms and such.
Some non morning people are better able to be cheerful in the morning.
Interesting, isn't it. I sleep late but when I do get up, I'm UP and don't need any time or coffee to get going. I'm ready to talk about anything or do anything, but DH needs time to regenerate or something. He isn't grouchy, but doesn't want to "talk" beyond a couple words. "Let me wake up" he'll say.
I don't think there is a particular time of day that is better or worse for me, but it is fascinating how different it is for others.
I put this thread under mental health because it affects my mental health.
Over the years I've had various relationships and housemates. Looking back, it's mostly men who are really grouchy in the morning. This really affects me because I am a morning person. I wake up energetic and happy, looking forward to the day. I've had 2 relationships (which includes 1 marriage) and 2 housemates. persons I am speaking of are all male. And, my parents and I were all larks, while my brother was a nigh owl who hated mornings (still does). They were/are grouchy and grumpy and you best not try to even talk to them until after noon. It's a huge downer and a waste of time.
I've only ever ended up in one relationship where the man was cheerful in the morning. Why start out the day so negatively? I usually keep quiet because I know better but what I'm thinking is "get over yourself."
I'm not a night person. I get sleepy really early, sometimes by 8pm. I'm not grouchy or crabby when I'm sleepy and/or it's time to go to bed. I just go. No sniping and crabbing.
It is what it is. I do wonder why it is that so many men are grouchy in the morning.
just like morning people...night owls have a time of day when they're all perky too. it's usually when the morning person is cranky from the day and ready for bed. i've been a night owl since childhood. mornings have never been or will ever be my thing. i don't do happy perky morning people even after coffee. it's nothing personal it's just how i am. you know?
just like morning people...night owls have a time of day when they're all perky too. it's usually when the morning person is cranky from the day and ready for bed. i've been a night owl since childhood. mornings have never been or will ever be my thing. i don't do happy perky morning people even after coffee. it's nothing personal it's just how i am. you know?
I'm a morning person and I realized in my very early 20s that being a night owl would be a relationship deal-breaker for me. What brought on this realization was spending a summer living with my niece (who is two years younger than me).
I went to bed at 10 and got up at 6. She went to bed at 2 and got up at 10. I loved to go out to the beach or to hike in the early morning hours. It was impossible to wake her then, and waiting around for hours wasting time until she naturally woke up infuriated me. She loved to go out to bars and poetry groups and stay up chatting into the wee hours. That made me exhausted and miserable. I am just not compatible with night owls, and it was a good thing to find this out with a relative and not with someone I was interested in a relationship with, because it was clear that neither type of person can easily change.
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I do think that is a major factor for a lot of men.
