Lonely in Miami (South Beach: to buy, casino, live)

[WINTERFRONT]

BTW, what kinds of parties are you guys talking about? I bet the regular and boring Rave and reggeton bomba parties, yuck

Oh , BBB, your misery days are just beginning - you eventually going to find yourself visiting sites like Theync. Why? Time will tell you why...

[Jmlacysr]

I've never been accused of being a social butterfly but my son IS and big time. He has 500 people in his Dallas phone book and none here. Making friends in Miami seems tough even for friend making rock stars.

I think a lot of people are here to get what they can before they get out. What goes on in Miami stays in Miami and if you're not into that scene, then you're on the outside looking in. The only thing permanent in Miami other than it's continued cultural demise is your temporary friends will be moving out so why even bother?

"Friends" here are those people you met on "vacation" while in Miami as many of us don't see this as our forever home. A temporary Lonely Hearts Club would do well here.

The other issue is one of trust. Who among us have people they trust here and particularly ones we just met? Can't trust people here and not even enough to use your real name on City-data. I thought one time about organizing a City-data Miami GTG so we could meet the faces behind the posts. I nixed that idea because of security and probably lack of interest.

This is not the first time this has come up and probably won't be the last. Want friends? Take i95 north.

[WINTERFRONT]

Jmlacysr, what you wrote is very comforting

I thought I was at fault for not having that many friends, despite being very open-minded, sociable, charismatic, and fun to be with. Life seems to be a big contradiction since people do fall in love with me, but at the end of the day I'm just another total stranger... somehow.

[Jmlacysr]

Originally Posted by WINTERFRONT

Jmlacysr, what you wrote is very comforting

I thought I was at fault for not having that many friends, despite being very open-minded, sociable, charismatic, and fun to be with. Life seems to be a big contradiction since people do fall in love with me, but at the end of the day I'm just another total stranger... somehow.

It's not you man. We know who you are by the way you post, and you are a good person just trying to make it through the next day and eek out a little happiness in the interim.

I think many of the locals here carry so much cynicism and those who just got here, are all about the party. That doesn't leave many people in the middle get next too.

As much as I hate on Miami, I honestly think many of the locals are just like us and want to make long term friends but they don't know who to trust. Once they trust you at least to some degree they tend to REALLY open up. If you could bottle confidence in the people you meet here, you'd be a billionaire.

It's not you, it's where you live.

[Jmlacysr]

Total strangers really like to talk here, they talk and talk and talk trying to vent some pent up talking frustration. I've met people that told me things I didn't want to know or asked. That had nothing to do with my side of the conversation, as they seem to go on and on. I think many are lonely here if they admit it or not.

There's a game I play when approaching new people. I try to turn that frown into a smile and I don't stop until the people I've approached relaxes. This takes longer with some people than others but it's that TRUST barrier with people here you have to get behind. Once you're behind that barrier, people won't shut up and you'll know it the second you're behind it.

You're assumed guilty not pressumed innocent until you prove yourself here, and that can take some time. Depending on how bad you want that relationship and how hard you are willing to work for their trust will determine your number of friends.

[boxus]

I will take the natural unfriendliness here over the cheesy fake display of friendliness else where any day.

If you do not want to know me, then do not pretend please.

The most relaxing thing about Miami is I don't get the "where are you from" line every five minutes, people here seem to understand there is a world outside of the area with people that reside in it and yes, those people will act, look, and dress differently.

[Kinetic_A]

I know what you all mean. I moved here with my friend of 7 years, and I told her that it is time for me to get my own place, which I have done, and now I rarely speak with her....and it's progressively getting worse. I don't what I did or if it's the culture, but I feel hurt. I have even tried to strike up conversations and they have been short....and she seems like she's depressed or something. Or maybe not. Shes always on facebook, and she constantly posting but barely responds to my comments anymore, but will respond to others. Maybe I'm being phased out, maybe I'm thinking too much about it.

Its sucks. She was my only friend that I have here. I still haven't made any other friends. Cubans avoid me, Black people look at me weird, and others ignore me. I'm that puzzle piece that just doesn't fit in.

It's only been 7 months though since I moved here.....and two months in my new apt. So maybe it's just a phase.

[Felix C]

Originally Posted by BlueBlueBlue

Hey everyone, I have something to say, some feelings I need to express. I do not know anyone here, I do not expect you to know me. I just need write out some thoughts and feelings at this point in time, I'm not expecting to get anything out of anyone from this. Just get my mind some rest.

I've lived Miami all my life, I'm currently in college here. I've never really fit in to the what seems the majority crowd around here. Partying, drinking, drugs are some things I've never seen the need to get into. However, this has left me isolated as I've seen it hard to find friends outside of these circles.

I'm an honest, responsible, caring human being. I've found it hard to find similar people of my age around here interested in friendship. This has also left me lonely.

My social skills are decent, I smile, I always keep a pleasant, friendly demeanor. I can hold a conversation. I've joined clubs, I've tried meeting people everywhere.

I still find myself alone, more so than ever before. And as this spring break dawns upon me, I feel alone in a world where every other college student is having fun with his friends. At the point in my life where I should be having the time of my life. I'm not. I'm just here, sitting on a computer, withering away, no idea what to do, pondering how to resolve my misery.

Do you not own a 2011 5.0? Go to the track. Go to a car show weekend at Fuddruckers or Tower Shops Friday in Davie. Attend University? Plenty of activities occur there. I know FIU even has free dancing classes. Other clubs to join there. Find a girlfriend. Begin a self-improvement project, whether educational or physical fitness. Plan your future after graduation. Write a one year, three year, five year, ten year plan. Start a journal. Write an autobiography. Take up a hobby. etc.etc. Get out of the house do something other than ruminating on your current condition.

[rusty78]

By a bike - the peddle type - and find a group to start riding with...it's great exercise and as you get more advanced the rides get longer and the events bigger...even if you don't meet someone you will have plenty to do...

[BlueBlueBlue]

The problem with Miami is that there are no general places to go where you might bump into or meet people. Sure, you can go to a mall or retail store, but people generally keep to themselves and are extremely suspicious of strangers. Other cities have central squares or walkable central districts where stuff goes on and you can go and people will generally be more open and friendly, Miami has none of those areas.

As far as clubs go, there are very few and limited to a few specific hobbies. Usually sports of some kind which I am not into, including cycling. It's a good suggestion, just not for me. I've joined a few clubs at school, but in general and in keeping with the Miami way of life, they're very disorganized and very few actually people participate. So it's not as if I have not tried to meet people and put myself out there, I have, but so far have really not been successful at all.