Montana-bound and miserable: anyone else? (Missoula, Bozeman: homes, find a job, wage)

[wanderluster123]

If this was already a question I didn’t see it, so sorry if this is a repost!
My partner wants to move to Montana (Bozeman or Missoula) and I’ve had a very hard time adjusting to this idea. We went to Bozeman and the surrounding area for a week while it was snowing in the fall and I was not impressed: it seemed very cookie cutter strip malls like you find anywhere. He said we didn’t spend really any time downtown, which is supposed to have more character. Also the first thing you see when you leave the airport is run down trailer parks, so maybe my first impression was not the best.
I currently have a high paying job which I would have to abandon (possibility of working remotely but is slim); my partner has no job prospects there but his family all recently moved there (past 5 years) and there is family money. I think he is romanticizing rural living (we’ve lived in major cities our adult lives) and not looking at the reality of such a lifestyle switch — especially 6mo of winter.

My question is specifically to people who moved to Montana unhappily or begrudgingly — how do you cope? Did your attitude towards your town/circumstances change over time? Anyone move here from somewhere mostly sunshine-y and warm year round, as I am? How did you adjust?

P.S. I know it sounds as if I’m putting this state down, but I did grow up in small towns/rural areas and know the positives of a close knit community. I’m asking more for advise on adjusting to a small community in one of the US’s most rural states where — from my research (and even my partner’s) — there are not many opportunities job or otherwise.

[City Guy997S]

You are crazy...........let the partner move and keep your job!

[evening sun]

Originally Posted by City Guy997S

You are crazy...........let the partner move and keep your job!

I tend to agree, if you have a well paid job, & enjoy it, why give it up? What will you live on? If partner has a romantic notion about living in the woods, let him have at it.

[NorCalMan]

If you're happy being a city dweller then rural living isn't for you.
If you don't like the cold then Montana isn't for you. Especially Missoula that is socked in during much of the winter.
If you don't want to live in a gentrified area full of overpriced homes, then Bozeman isn't for you.
If you have a well paying job that can't be found in Montana then don't move.
Tell your partner to get a job.
Tell your partner to find a job in Montana BEFORE he even thinks of moving.
Living off "family money" is a recipe for disaster any where.
If your man child of a partner refuses to get a job, thinks that living off of family money is a great idea, expects you to quit your job- the one thing that's apparently supporting the both of you- so he can move to a lower wage paying state without a job lined up... then you need to move on without him. This question belongs in the Relationship forum. This isn't about Montana, this is so much more than that.

[Redraven]

PLEASE do not move to Montana!
YOU will not be happy living here.
You will eventually blame your significant other for your unhappiness, which will quite likely destroy your relationship.
IMO, you should stay in the big city where you quite obviously belong.
Another thing you should consider is your feelings and thoughts about fishing, hunting, gun ownership and target shooting. If you are dead set against any or all of that, Montana is probably not the place for you.
Good luck.

[wanderluster123]

Haha, I did not mean for this to turn into a relationship thread; I’ve been trying very hard to keep an open mind about this move and not only focus on the negative. We have been together for quite some time but yeah this will more than likely be our fork in the road.
Would still be interested anyway for personal research purposes if there are any Montanans out there that I was directing my original question(s)...

[Teacher Terry]

Never lived there but I don’t like extreme winter or small towns. Without jobs you are crazy to even consider it.

[evening sun]

What does your partner intend to do with his time once he moves? Does he plan on living off the family money, & if so, is he willing to support you, & do you feel ok with being supported? Will you be happy without a job? Especially somewhere with a long hard winter?

[wanderluster123]

Tough love from the internet! Honestly everyone, I already know my decision but wanted to exhaust all options (which after this I will have; I’ve never posted in a forum before.) He may as well have said he’s moving to Antarctica. And I love my job.
“Family money” was perhaps the wrong phrasing by the way, tried to keep personal info vague.

[evening sun]

Originally Posted by wanderluster123

Tough love from the internet! Honestly everyone, I already know my decision but wanted to exhaust all options (which after this I will have; I’ve never posted in a forum before.) He may as well have said he’s moving to Antarctica. And I love my job.
“Family money” was perhaps the wrong phrasing by the way, tried to keep personal info vague.

Of course, best to be vague, but I wish you well in your decision.