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I think this scenario is a lot different and I can speak from personal experience. You're right though, technically it was none of the woman's business, I just believe that being rude back doesn't serve a purpose, but you have your way of dealing with it and I have mine
To the lady's defense, though, she probably had every good intention when she made her comment. So I can't really say that she really meant to be rude.
Then again, we're in NJ. We're all supposed to be rude, so who knows.
Been there done that. When I tell them I'm from Japan, they say "oh I never would've thought that".
I was at a Korean dry cleaner one time in Edgewater and the lady says to me:"you look like Lou diamond Philips"
Can't make this stuff up...
If you see an Asian guy that looks like Lou diamond Philips in Wyckoff, stop and say hello.
My mother lives in Midland Park near the Wyckoff border so I'm there fairly often. If a 6'1" tall white woman walks up to you and says, "Are you Ivan Putski?", it might be me.
I would have done along the lines your wife did. Even if I felt the racist twinge, & I wouldn't have gone there first reaction. I know a lot of people wouldn't agree with me, and would speak out, or up, or something like that - righteous indignation. I want/choose to believe that the more patient people they run into who are different from them in some way, then it's one more little drip wearing down the rock & changes minds. Could be wrong- - -
I'd never ask a total stranger something like that, thinking it's rude, but I seldom respond in kind unless I'm having a truly bad day.
My mother lives in Midland Park near the Wyckoff border so I'm there fairly often. If a 6'1" tall white woman walks up to you and says, "Are you Ivan Putski?", it might be me.
I'll be ready. Though it would be pretty funny to see the look you get from an Asian guy (not me) if his name was Ivan Putski (formerly known as the Polish hammer, a popular WWF wrestler from the 80's). He'll probably walk away thinking you're nuts .
I'll be ready. Though it would be pretty funny to see the look you get from an Asian guy (not me) if his name was Ivan Putski (formerly known as the Polish hammer, a popular WWF wrestler from the 80's). He'll probably walk away thinking you're nuts .
Life's all about taking risks. Lol. But are there TWO Asians guys in Wyckoff who look like Lou Diamond Phillips?
Whether or not you are offended, the basis of the question is racist.
The fact it wouldn't even enter her head that this woman could be married to an Asian guy proof enough.
If *I* saw a white lady with an asian-looking baby/child, it would in fact be my FIRST thought that her spouse was Asian.
My next thought would be nothing as none of this is any of my gd business.
She's 85 years old, marriages of different races, hell even different religions were almost unheard of in her day..
o/p wife wasn't offended so why are you jumping on the self righteous soap box?
Life's all about taking risks. Lol. But are there TWO Asians guys in Wyckoff who look like Lou Diamond Phillips?
Good point. There's a guy on this board who once said there are only 2 or 3 Asians in Wyckoff and I joked that I was one of them so the odds are in your favor!
Something tells me we both know the same people from Midland Park (grew up in MP back in late 80s/90s).
Probably not a NJ section topic but I primarily post here so here goes:
I'm asian and my wife is caucasian. We recently had our 1st child 8 weeks ago and as you can imagine, he looks slightly asian and well, slightly caucasian.
So my wife is at CVS this morning picking up a few things up here in north jersey (Wyckoff to be exact) and an elderly lady walks up to her and says "Your baby is very cute and exotic looking. Where did you adopt him from?". My wife, without taking any offense, went on to explain that her husband is asian and she in fact is the biological mother. Other customers in the store listening to this just shook their heads/rolled their eyes in disbelief that this lady would ask something like this.
I personally thought it was funny when my wife called to tell me about it and she thought it was amusing (I've been asked at a supermarket where one can find a bottle of soy sauce so this is nothing - again in north jersey - I told her I didn't know and she walked away shaking her head).
Question is, would you CD folks react the same way my wife did or would you have been offended? If so, what would you have said?
I wouldn't have been offended, because most Asian babies in America are adopted unless you're talking about somewhere like CA where there are a lot of Asians. Also, most mixed Asian people are usually Asian from the mom. You know the mail order bride with white old guy type. I would have assumed she adopted the baby. I wouldn't have said any thing, though. Wife shouldn't be offended. I don't get men or women like this. Even if you're the same race, if you pick a partner that looks different your baby might not look like you. Be mad at yourself.
I wouldn't have been offended, because most Asian babies in America are adopted unless you're talking about somewhere like CA where there are a lot of Asians. Also, most mixed Asian people are usually Asian from the mom. You know the mail order bride with white old guy type. I would have assumed she adopted the baby. I wouldn't have said any thing, though. Wife shouldn't be offended. I don't get men or women like this. Even if you're the same race, if you pick a partner that looks different your baby might not look like you. Be mad at yourself.
Wow... You're certainly entitled to your opinion but you're making some serious assumptions here.
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