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I think this is overreacting a little, maybe because I get asked sometimes and it doesn't bother me at all. The OP's wife wasn't offended. I guess It could be offensive, depending on how the lady said it, but given that she was older and living in a majority white area I believe I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. She did compliment the baby after all.
It is not about being offended.
Whether or not you are offended, the basis of the question is racist.
The fact it wouldn't even enter her head that this woman could be married to an Asian guy proof enough.
If *I* saw a white lady with an asian-looking baby/child, it would in fact be my FIRST thought that her spouse was Asian.
My next thought would be nothing as none of this is any of my gd business.
Whether or not you are offended, the basis of the question is racist.
The fact it wouldn't even enter her head that this woman could be married to an Asian guy proof enough.
If *I* saw a white lady with an asian-looking baby/child, it would in fact be my FIRST thought that her spouse was Asian.
My next thought would be nothing as none of this is any of my gd business.
well look at you sooooo enlightened. id probably assume adopted also. is it racist or is it just guessing the most likely reason for a white person to have an asian child?
i think its racist if you find out the kid's father is asian and it bothers you. otherwise, its just a guess.
Maybe it's racist but I've been asked about my ethnicity by non whites. The whole world is racist to some degree.
I just don't see how getting upset about your ethnicity matters unless you were actually discriminated against. My family got turned away at a korean restaurant because my dad is white. Was that racist? Yes. Was what my mom said to the guy who turned us away racist too? Yes.
well look at you sooooo enlightened. id probably assume adopted also. is it racist or is it just guessing the most likely reason for a white person to have an asian child?
i think its racist if you find out the kid's father is asian and it bothers you. otherwise, its just a guess.
Not enlightened.
An Asian tired of being asked obviously racist crap all the time.
My wife is dark-skinned from S. America and my kids are "white" She used to get asked all the time at the Duck Pond in Ridgewood or Saddle River Park in Glen Rock if "the children were hers" or if she was the nanny. She normally was nice about it like the OPs wife. But one time she didn't like the tone of a woman's voice and said "i stole them!" and walked away.
It's always women asking because men frankly don't really give a sh#t.
We're mixed (Asian and Caucasian) as well. So many people have told me that our son looks "exactly like" me. Not sure "exactly" what that means, but I always respond with, "Yes, he will one day thank me for having inherited my strikingly handsome looks."
We once stayed over in a motel off of 80 in PA on our way out to Michigan, when an older gentleman saw our family, looked at me, and asked, "Where are you from?"
I responded with, "We're from NJ, on our way to Michigan."
He then looks at me intently and says, "No, I mean...w h e r e a r e y o u f r o o o o m ? China? Koooorea?"
Moments like these amuse me.
(Ivan, I did you a favor by incorporating NJ into this response so the thread can stay in the NJ section.)
My wife is dark-skinned from S. America and my kids are "white" She used to get asked all the time at the Duck Pond in Ridgewood or Saddle River Park in Glen Rock if "the children were hers" or if she was the nanny. She normally was nice about it like the OPs wife. But one time she didn't like the tone of a woman's voice and said "i stole them!" and walked away.
It's always women asking because men frankly don't really give a sh#t.
OK, asking if she's the "nanny" is just rude. But to the OP's point, the woman was being nosy but I don't think it is always meant to be racist. It's natural to look and wonder and there's nothing offensive about being adopted. There are plenty of kids that are. I wouldn't have been offended by the question, but I really don't think you should ask something like that of a stranger because I really don't think a child's parentage is anyone's business.
That said, I would have answered the question and moved on. There's too many things in this world to be truly annoyed at, I don't think this is one of them.
I think one of my friends had the best response to such inquiries. She is blonde, blue eyed, and very fair skinned and her hubby is originally from Kenya. When her oldest was young, some 20+ yrs ago, my friend was always being asked if the baby "was hers, or was adopted." Without hesitation she always respond, that yes "I gave birth to the baby, there was a mistake at the sperm bank, and well what could I do?" Which always resulted in people being stunned into silence and quickly scurrying away. She felt that if people were going to be so rude, she would embarrass them no end.
Hahaha my friends love this story. She started by asking "you're oriental right?" I said "yeah..."
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