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like those that just graduated college that live in the city say from 20's to 30s? Obviously there are so many different cultures and classes of people that you cant blanket all of them to say they are but how true is it that women there are overly pretentious and want to live fantasy lifestyles while looking for the wall street banker who will support their fantasies?
I'm guessing that women here are likely to be less superficial. On the other hand, superficial and pretentious and fantasizing aren't at all the same thing.
If you're looking for a reason that women aren't interested in you, this probably isn't it.
It sounds like you have been rejected by many, many women. Believing it is because you are not a rich wealthy banker and they are superficial no doubt helps you make it through the day, but it's not true. Yes there are women EVERYWHERE searching for a free ride and skating on their fading looks, and NYC probably has a larger share of these people, however it is not unique to NYC. It just so happens it is home to a very wealthy elite, so there are more vultures circling than other places.
Well, another way to look at it that women in NYC have increased access to 'Alpha' males than in your average mid west/southern/western place, city or suburb.
Access to more numbers of males who could actuallly make their dreams (superficial or not) come true, at least in the beginning.
In other places, out there in Transplantland, people tend to settle sooner in life; as early as high school, in some cases. College in other cases.
In NYC, the competition can extend long beyond those points. This is what you are experiencing.
For example, back in Transplantland a non-Alpha female can come to NYC and if she so chooses can transform hereself. She may not become truly an Alpha female, but she can improve significantly compared to the 'girls' back home; and most significantly, she can the adopt the attitudes, standards and demands of an Alpha female. Something she could never achieve back home---as the pecking order is long established.
Non-Alpha males on the other hand have a more difficult, for some impossibile, taks of transisiting to Alpha male status, and thereby becoming attractive the female Alpha 'transformers'.
For example, a female could live with 5 roommates in Williamsburg and STILL take on Alpha attitudes and pull it off. A male, on the other hand, cannot be viewed as an Alpha male living in Bushwick with 5 roommates.
An Alpha male might have his buddy for a roommate, but visibly demonstrates that his roommate is a choice and not a necessity. Alpha females aren't being superficial they are simply picking up on a man's vibe, capability. It takes a LOT in order to 'thrive' in this city. MUCH more than in most other places in the US.
For example, in most of the US, a basic college education/degree can provide a *fair* lifestyle, basic middle class home, Accord in the drive, a couple can pay their bills, even with high credit card balance.
In NYC, you simply have to do MUCH better! A basic house here costs double or triple the cost out in Transplantland. You are not going to afford a *fair* home, sailing just below average. In other words, a non-Alpha male isn't going to make it at a middle class level in NYC; and certainly not at an upper middle level.
A women who picks up on this, is she superficial or simply realistic?
Is it the non-Alpha male being superficial or realistice?
First thing about an Alpha male is the ability recognize, accept and deal with reality.
Another way to look at it, for a women to be attractive to an Alpha male, she has GOT to put a LOT of work in. When people work hard at anything, they expect a reward for their efforts. The effort reward thing works both ways!
Are there material girls, sure! Superficial? Sure!
Yet, what really matters is you potential to provide a fair life in the NYC tristate environment. Being sweet and sensitive jusr isn't goin to cut it in the big city!
NYC and its environs is simply sexually competitive, just like everything else in this city. One MUST compete.
Here's another question--why are there so many threads in this forum from guys wanting to ask if "all" women are [insert negative characteristic]? Are there really that many misogynist losers posting in City-Data? Dudes, if woman after woman is turning you down, YOU are the problem, not them. Do the math. The common factor is YOU. Nobody owes you a date. Whining will get you nowhere--that's a classic Nice Guy defense mechanism. Ask a good female friend what you can do to improve your game and follow her advice. But stop blaming the women for not finding you attractive.
Here's another question--why are there so many threads in this forum from guys wanting to ask if "all" women are [insert negative characteristic]? Are there really that many misogynist losers posting in City-Data? Dudes, if woman after woman is turning you down, YOU are the problem, not them. Do the math. The common factor is YOU. Nobody owes you a date. Whining will get you nowhere--that's a classic Nice Guy defense mechanism. Ask a good female friend what you can do to improve your game and follow her advice. But stop blaming the women for not finding you attractive.
Correct! A man must never try to find happiness in another human or thing. Happiness comes from within. You can ALLOW other people or a special lady to compliment your happiness but never be the source of your happiness. You will be a happier person in the end.
OP - you sound bitter. Either a) you are trying to hit on ladies that are out of your league or b) you have that desperate look that ladies avoid like the plague.
Focus on finding internal happiness or wholeness. Then work on your body, career, finances and open yourself to new horizons by travellin to foreign countries.
LOL i just asked a question and am getting attacked. and for the record i've only had this occur with one woman i was interested in. I just feel like from the gist of attitudes i see out and about in the city thats the way it feels like with some people. I'm not saying that 99% of the women that are 22-35 are only into guys that have money and great jobs.
LOL i just asked a question and am getting attacked. and for the record i've only had this occur with one woman i was interested in. I just feel like from the gist of attitudes i see out and about in the city thats the way it feels like with some people. I'm not saying that 99% of the women that are 22-35 are only into guys that have money and great jobs.
There are superficial women in all sorts of income strata and counter subcultures from ghetto to yuppie, stay home moms to independent women etc. Many of these women you mentioned will become baggage eventually with two baby fathers from two different guys, this even happens to superficial women as well as unattractive chubby ones too. Move to another city to find a mate. My best bet is focus on yourself, try to improve your credit score, invest money, go to the gym and workout, take an academic course or two. As a NYC male you have to worry about two things Herpes and Child Support and you don't want either or both, Ive seen to many guys fall into the trap.
Last edited by Bronxguyanese; 07-09-2012 at 08:35 PM..
True there are some of those women out there, but also men too! But when you are out and about the city also try and see the hard working, ambitious females, that can take care of themselves and don't need a man to fiance their life. There are many of those too...
Obviously there are so many different cultures and classes of people that you cant blanket all of them
So why ask a categorical question about them?
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