NYC Style & Men (living in, gym, shop)

[kumbamella63]

I recently met a man on my last vacation (which was a 3 week group tour through Europe). We hit it off and were "best buds" on the trip. We developed feelings for each other on the trip. He lives in Manhattan, where I am moving in 1 week from Chicago due to a job change. He has told me we will "take it slow" when I get to NY and "see where it leads."

This guy is extremely wealthy, and is a professional wardrobe consultant on the side. I know that a lot of his friends are in the modeling/fashion industry and he LOVES shopping with them, picking out clothes for them, etc. He told me that I do not look like a "Manhattan girl" so as soon as I get to NYC he's going to take me shopping bc I need to look like a "Manhattan girl."

I know for a fact he doesn't like my sunglasses and a couple other things I wore because he told me. I always thought I had a pretty good sense of style but I realize it's not "Manhattan." At this point I feel pretty emberassed because I am feeling 1. emberassed of myself- maybe my style/clothes are bad after all, 2. emberassed that a guy I am interested in may be emberassed of me (never happened to my knowledge).

So my questions are:

1. Does it sound like he is embarassed of me? (emberassed to be seen with me as someone he is dating?) I "accused" him of it a couple times already, which he denied, just saying, "I'm not embarassed of you."

2. Is there a way to avoid him knowing my size when we go shopping, other than telling him I don't want him to know and risk looking insecure and not confident? I am concerned I will have to tell him for him to fetch my clothes, or he will overhear me telling the store person. I recently gained 25 pounds due to a medical surgery, and I feel extremely self conscious and depressed about my figure now. I am now a size 8-10 and I used to be a size 4-6. Clothes that i used to wear just don't fit anymore and I have relied on frumpy clothes to get me through the day, as nothing else looks decent on me. Like I said, he usually dates models, etc, and I know his ex gf was gorgeous and very thin. I am just so emberassed for him to know my size. I don't think I can get out of going shopping with him because he INSISTS and keeps talking about it (on the phone).

3. What is the "style" in NYC? I don't know if I can even wear it, as I don't want to show my legs or arms.

4. I have heard how hard dating (for women) is in NYC, but this extra "fashion" piece scares me and just contributes enormously to my anxiety and grief over my weight. I would like to know- from people living in NYC- if a woman (I am 27) size 8-10 is pretty much off-limits. I have a pretty face but I realize that if my body is unattractive, men will not want to date me anyway. To be honest, I don't even know why he's interested in me if he can date a model or someone so much thinner and more fashionable than me, which seems like what he wants and clearly his preference in the past.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate any input or opinions you can give.

[mgt04]

1. Yes this is a red flag and the fact he wants to take you shopping so you look like a Manhattan girl is already him trying to change you.

2. I wouldn't even get to this next step with him.

3. There is no "style" in NYC. If you work in the financial sector or what I know people are wearing all sorts of fancy suits, etc. For casual wear anything goes.

4. Don't believe anything you hear about the dating or fashion. Be yourself...its what makes NYC so unique to have a variety of people with different tastes.

Overall I'd steer clear of the guy...sounds very controlling from the start.

[Bronxguyanese]

I smell troll.

[craigslist.1]

Post a picture of yourself and I'll take it from there..

[joeymags]

Something about this doesn't add up. He's most likely BS'ing you about himself. If this guy dates all these models, etc. I doubt he'd be trying to entice a plus size out of towner with promise of shopping sprees, etc. He's probably some nerd where his wealth is his go to line. There's no 'manhattan look.' Okay, maybe not walking around in jeans and running shoes, but there's not a specific look. I'd focus more on hitting the gym and getting your diet in check....it sounds like you will be much more comfortable in your own skin.

[Bremsstrahlung]

Dude sounds like a tool. If the way he talks and behaves makes you insecure about yourself, he's not the right guy for you.

[Harlem resident]

Originally Posted by joeymags

There's no 'manhattan look.' Okay, maybe not walking around in jeans and running shoes, but there's not a specific look.

I am a native and walk around in jeans and running shoes all of the time - always have.

The "Manhattan look" should be rightly defined as the "transplant look." They pick this up from "Sex in the City." You know, dress the part and you will be the part.

Whereas, most meaningful people here have better and far more interesting things to do than shop at Barney's every weekend.

[BinxBolling]

Wow what a tool that guy is. You can wear whatever you want here, no one cares.

[likeminas]

If you're not trolling, I say the guy is pretty superficial, and if you are having issues with your self-image his shallowness will not help you improve, but rather make feel even worse about yourself.

The only advice I can give is:

Run, Forrest! Run!

[30to66at55]

Oh the Humanity