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Location: from houstoner to bostoner to new yorker to new jerseyite ;)
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^Uh, I think you're overstating your point a bit there. I've personally seen it in Houston, Dallas, San Francisco, Denver, New Orleans, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island, and I'm sure there are other places kids of all backgrounds get along besides the three cities you named. But that's just a minor quibble. The rest of your point was valid.
I'm just curious, lovecouture, why you've "always dreamed of living in New York City" if you can only think of negative things?
I apologize if you answered this in this thread already, I didn't read through the whole thing.
I will tell you the truth: I have lived in small towns and big cities all over the world, most recently in a small town in Maine (near Canada!). Living in a small town will harden you and make you a tough old nut much quicker than life in New York will. Just trust me, your average New Yorker has a squishy soft heart even if they're loud on the outside.
But if your user name means you are in the fashion industry, I can tell you those people are insane everywhere. (formerly worked in couture in Paris)
Interesting thread. I am actually living in Seattle (and moving to Brooklyn in 2 weeks).
First off (to the OP), in reality you have no idea what really went on between the girls and the manager. You have no idea if there was a history of something either (like they had been in there before). My guess was the manager had a very good reason for doing what she did and that you were not at all privy to that reason. You can't really accurately judge a situation like that from the outside when you don't know any of the real details. I agree with a PP, that situation could have happened anywhere (even in a quiet small town).
Regarding Seattle itself, I don't know how much more you experienced, but there is a reality to the stigma of "Seattle Nice" (or it has also been referred to as the "Seattle Freeze"), which is a passive-aggressiveness to the culture as a whole here (not everyone of course, but in general). What is funny about that is that the majority of people here are transplants (myself included, from the DC area; I've lived here 12 years). People here appear actually appear super nice and are uber politically correct, but there is very little real humanity and connection in day to day interactions (with strangers).
What I do know about NYC (and the east coast in general, particularly D.C. and up) is that it is almost the exact opposite of that behavior. While people seem in a hurry (because they *are*), they are also very real, and when interactions do take place, so does humanity and not this self-protecting facade that you so often see here in Seattle. People genuinely allow themselves to feel here and share that, whether it is really connecting in conversations (of course friends, but I mean "strangers" especially), or if they are pissed off about something, they let you know how they feel and why (not ***** footing around it and acting like everything is ok when it's not....= FAKE).
I always dreamed of living here, so I did. Well LI but I commute to Manhattan for work. NYers are good people at the heart, just busy. Most are rushing to different things. Me included. If I have a chance to get an express LIRR train home that leaves in 2 minutes, I don't care what I need to do to get there.
You have your crazies that are just plain insane. There is no avoiding it. The worst after that is the rich elites. They think they are the ish. Most of the rest of working people that just want to make a living. A lot will apologize if they bump you, but don't expect it if they are in a hurry. Honestly though, once you start working and have to commute, you are annoyed and tired of trains and walking when a jackass tourist decides to do a deadstop in front of you to take a picture of the Empire, you will understand. People are stupid and you have FAR more of them to deal with.
Each area is different. You will see all types of people and attitudes. NYers are very upfront and very honest. If you think you are going to come here and get offended because someone doesn't wish you a nice day at Duane Reede, don't come. People keep to themselves and they also usually have a book, iPad, iPhone, iPod, or Kindle in their hands and totally not concerned with anyone around them.
It's a crazy change for most people but you begin to get used to the atmosphere. There is no where else that is like NYC and I love that. A ton of different faiths, religions, and languages coming together.
Yes you do have to thick skin to live here but I think people living everywhere should have thick skin. No one is going to hold your hand through life. Its not happening and its DEFINITELY not happening here. What you may see as nice and polite may actually come across as wimpy and a pushover. If you where confident in your ability to handle things you wouldn't of even asked.
I consider myself a very nice person however if someone gives me incorrect change I'm not going to smile sweetly and walk away. I think NYC is the most "real" city in the country. People are who they are and if you don't like it live somewhere else. I have friends who moved here from small towns who expect an apology from everyone who bumps them on the subway. Thats not gonna happen.
Honestly I think that anyone who feels this way or feels the need to state these things is compensating for something. In my experience if you're really happy with who you are and don't suffer from some sort of inferiority complex you would have no problem with being nice and polite and if someone perceives you as a push over then well that's their screw up cause you're secure enough in yourself to know you're capable of handling yourself.
Unfortunately I think a lot of people here in NYC are not confidant in their ability to handle anything that may be thrown at them so they go through their days with this front of I'm not gonna smile and be polite and if I bump into someone I'm just gonna keep walking fast so they don't have a chance to
challenge me to a physical altercation. There's nothing wrong with showing your humanity and saying I'm sorry if you've caused harm (even minor and/or unintentional) to another person.
And as for NYC being the most "real" city I disagree as a lot of the long timers here seem to be obsessed with presenting a certain image and overly concerned with how they are perceived by others. Where I come from we judge people based on a history of their actions not random first time encounters or what they're wearing or whatever. To me that's a lot more "real" than a society that goes around making flash decisions based on appearances.
It's so true. Don't believe all you hear about NY'rs because my experience was awesome and people were not at all how tv portrays them.. and the crime.. I swear it's like when people think of NYC and NY'rs its a flashback to 1970-80's Charles Bronson flicks or something.
The truth is people are rude and crappy everywhere. Atlanta...some of the most absolute rude, crass and prejudice people on the planet. Orlando... inconsiderate, shallow, again.. rude! When you hear "There's nothing like southern hospitality".. it's true.. there's nothing like it, because it doesn't exist. These are some of the most two-faced people you will EVER meet. Smile to your face and rip you apart when you turn around. This is passed down as a gene in the south.
I was blown away after going back to NYC and I admit.. I was waiting for the rudeness and the muggings.. WRONG again. NY is my speed completely. I keep to myself, have a busy one track mind if I have to do something, but I'm as friendly as the next person. People in NY have work/play/living down to a science, like clockwork in how they operate. And it seems these things automatically place them in the catagory of "rude". Not fair. I keep hearing you have to have "thick skin" to live in NYC. Really? Everyone I saw, encountered and spoke with didn't seem like they had this thick skin or had a hardness about them. To me they were as normal as the next person. Maybe its thick skin to the weather, business/work/life, rent negotiating, and the constant busy everyday of the millions of people who are out in the streets every day, 24/7. I'm pretty sure these things could contribute to this thick skinned life.
Really, people are rotten and total butts everywhere you will ever go geographically. And for me NYC and NY'rs were NOTHING at all like this. And while I'm here let me say.. NY'rs have their own thing going on. Everywhere else you go, people are cloned copies of each other, with no originality or personality or even in style, or thinking for themselves and their beliefs. Everyone jumps on the bandwagon. What's so wrong with doing your own thing and not living through someone else or a group of people. What a waste of your life. When I was in NY I saw white, jewish, asian and african american children skateboarding and hanging out playing. My heart swelled with love because I was able to see this, something that is so absent in society. This is something you don't see anywhere, unless you're in LA, Austin or NYC. I told my husband I want for our kids to be exposed to every nationality.. to have friends from all over the world.
Anyway.. again don't believe all you hear. NY'rs are much nicer and cooler than you will ever know.
well, why you compare nyc to cities outside of the country, its pretty bad out here. our crime is unreal.
I am from New York. Lived there for 17 years. It really depends on where you live. Depending on which side of a train line you're on, it's a matter of rich or poor. You can walk 3 blocks in one direction and end up in an Historic neighborhood.
You will have an awesome experience in New York no matter where you live, be street savvy and don't go jogging 10 at night in the park wearing headphones by yourself!
When you are in any big city I would advise you to be aware of your surroundings! Whether you are male or female. You will see the ocassional homeless person, panhandlers on the trains, graffiti, etc...
Brooklyn is the biggest and most segregated borough. Each neighborhood is distinctive. If you're Italian Bensonhurst, Jewish - Boro Park or Crown Heights, Black - Also Crown Heights, East New York, Hispanic - Bushwich. I lived in Flatbush - Ditmas Park Area. Middle to upper class, professional culturally mixed neighborhoods. I still have a coop --rental. East Flatbush is pre-dominantly African American but is experiencing gentrification. This is a great area for Students, the rent is reasonable but steadily raising. This is about 15 mins from Pospect Park and Park Slope...where millionaires and movie stars live.
BROOKLYN ---CLOSE TO MANHATTAN, THE BEACH, IS TURNING INTO MANHATTAN. LOTS OF BUSINESSES TRANSFERRING FROM nyc TO bk.
sorry to intervene but i lived 4 years in NY . the first year was great; i was living in the city and taking everything in. but after a few years, i became kind of tired of all the drama of ny, the noise, the lights, the people. well what can i say, my perception is that NY is not as dangerous as many people say how ever there is definitely some kind of electric vibes in the air, as if something could happen any minutes, people seemed to be quite aggressive and very loud (no generalisation intended.), very in you face.
To cut the story short i moved back to another big city in europe and all i can say is that i certainly can feel and see the difference, the changes. People are more patient and willing to help, still a bit busy but not to the scale of NY even if it is a big capital city.
Anyway, i did enjoy living in Ny and do not regret my time there but i should've left a year earlier.
just my opinion.
I agree with you a hundred percent even though you do not like you stated live in the united states. I to myself have only traveled there and I also travel very frequently to other cities in America since I live here.
The main reason of why I don’t just agree with you but definitely agree with you is because my cousin lives there now and he has experienced drama and politics he does not want to experience he is about ready to go nuts.
Anyways what I was saying though is I have been to many other cities in the united states and have not only found it much calmer but more easy in terms of alot better service for a smaller price and very nice attitude so to speak.
When ever you come back to the united states some cities like Chicago san Francisco los angelas Seattle Cleveland and a few others would suit you perfectly in terms of having a good decent city life experience in yes even living there without everything you mentioned. New york is a city built up on much aggression not just attitude in even if most people don’t see it when they visit there I think it speaks for itself if you move there thane you see it.
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