Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Give him the silent treatment and tell him "If you don't know why I'm upset, that's your problem and not mine" Your friend is a moron. Even if meant to be funny, you don't say that to anyone, especially not someone you consider a friend.
I'm wondering if OP wasn't offended by what the coffee lady said because it came from a woman, besides "*****" sounds like a stronger word. At the end of the day, though, the "mistress" and a "*****" has a similar meaning which is what her male friend pointed out. Some people just don't have a filter.
I would just erase the comment and forget about it.
True. The guy was harsh but probably just trying to be funny.
I don't get it. You know what a mistress is, right? If someone says you looks like one, that means you look like either a kept woman or a dominatrix. You thought it was cute when the coffee lady said so, so much that you'd share the joke with your friends, but it's not funny when your guy friend put it in different words. It wasn't nice of him to say that, but why was it funny when the coffee lady said it to you?
Clearly we have completely different views on what a mistress is. Yes it's a dominatrix, but liking that whole look and being into that stuff to a certain extent I see them as incredibly sexy women of power, and a ***** is a dirty street person who sells her body… nothing the same in my opinion.
Clearly we have completely different views on what a mistress is. Yes it's a dominatrix, but liking that whole look and being into that stuff to a certain extent I see them as incredibly sexy women of power, and a ***** is a dirty street person who sells her body… nothing the same in my opinion.
A ***** is a synonym for prostitute, a woman who exchanges sex for money, whether she's a streetwalker or one of Charlie Sheen's goddesses.
Your friend seems to have some underlying hostility toward you.
At any rate, if some doofus calling you a ***** on Facebook is your biggest problem, count yourself lucky and carry on.
A ***** is a synonym for prostitute, a woman who exchanges sex for money, whether she's a streetwalker or one of Charlie Sheen's goddesses.
Your friend seems to have some underlying hostility toward you.
At any rate, if some doofus calling you a ***** on Facebook is your biggest problem, count yourself lucky and carry on.
I was thinking along the same lines and obviously he isn't the "friend" you think he is. If you know he's been interested in you for some time you should know that his thoughts/feelings of you are not platonic which is why he had no resevations with calling you a *****. Since you've turned down his advances, he probably purposely say things to ruffle your feathers because you're not interested in him the way he is interested in you and that's his way of making sure he has the upper hand. It makes him feel good to know he's effected you in a negative way and I don't understand why you would even want to associate with someone like that let alone think they're your "friend".
What are you gaining from this frienship besides hurt feelings? Or is it just for the attention?
he's been interested in you for some time you should know that his thoughts/feelings of you are not platonic which is why he had no resevations with calling you a *****. Since you've turned down his advances, he probably purposely say things to ruffle your feathers because you're not interested in him the way he is interested in you and that's his way of making sure he has the upper hand. It makes him feel good to know he's effected you in a negative way
He used to say this nasty stuff when we were like, 15, 16 years old. I thought he was just being an insecure idiot, but we are both much older now and he has a serious girlfriend and he still said it. I just don’t get it.
Is he just using her? Does he still have feelings for me? Does he, as someone pointed out earlier, harbour resentment for me for my rejecting him all those years ago?
P.S. I should also point out that mere hours after posting this, he was asking me whether I would be going to a mutual friend’s party and if I had planned on going for pre drinks anywhere and telling me where he and his gf would be… I don’t know if he was feeling guilty or what that is all about.
He used to have a thing for me many many years ago, and he would say nasty stuff like this often. He has a very serious gf now though who he is clearly crazy about, so I don’t quite get it.
I just want to send him a simple text:
“Why would you say something like that to me on Facebook?
You hurt my feelings.”
Delete him. Now. Nothing good will come out of this BFF. Trust me.
He is immature and probably no one has called him on this or perhaps when they do, he ignores them.
Everyone gives you the benefit of the doubt but you are both friends and people tend to seek a similar level.
If you have indeed matured and he has lagged behind, you might consider moving on.
If you want to continue the friendship then you have to decide whether to ignore this side of him or confront it. I'd be tempted to simply email him back saying that you don't like those comments anymore. Don't explain or apologize. Be clear and brief. "I don't like comments like those. They offend me."
If you ignore him, it will continue. If you give him the cold shoulder for a while he may figure it out but that is not a very mature way of dealing with people.
You can of course, move on. I trust you have many valid reasons to be friends with him and that throwing your friendship with him under the bus is more complicated than dropping him over a poorly considered joke.
I hold out the possibility that he still likes you and that this immaturity is his reluctance or inability to show his affections in a more positive way than that of a 13 year old. If he is not really that important to you, you might consider that dropping him as a friend might be doing him a favour that he can't do for himself.
To answer your original question... he thinks he is being funny and most likely few people if anyone has told him otherwise.
Maybe it is time someone did?
WC
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
