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You should speak to your mom one last time and if she's still bent on enabling him, I would find other accomodations for myself until he is gone. Give it 30 days tops and I'm sure he will eff up again and will have to be put out.
Don't posters read?
Enabling is your assumption..
The OP said the brother moved in until an availability in a half way house.
You sound smug in this post. "I may be an alcoholic, but he is SO much worse!"
I don't know your story with alcohol (you brushed over that quickly while explaining his addiction in great detail), but let me ask you this:
Did you hurt your family with your alcoholism? Sure you did. Did it ever occur to you that your family is extending the same support to him that they did to you?
You say that you understand addiction, yet you judge another addicted person.
I don't think I hurt my family as much with my addiction. Mostly because I kept it hidden from everyone. When I finally confessed after a few years, my parents had no idea I'd even had a problem. I've always gone out of my way, my whole life, not to hurt my parents or cause them to worry.
I do think my brother is worse. I'm not trying to be smug, really. It's just...I would never steal from my family. I would never cause them such misery. I don't know how he is able to do that. I think he doesn't take responsibility for himself. He blames our parents for his addiction, and for everything in his life that is wrong. He feels entitled somehow to keep stealing from them, he feels entitled to anything he wants. I think that attitude holds him back.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JennaKendall
I don't think I hurt my family as much with my addiction. Mostly because I kept it hidden from everyone. When I finally confessed after a few years, my parents had no idea I'd even had a problem. I've always gone out of my way, my whole life, not to hurt my parents or cause them to worry.
I do think my brother is worse. I'm not trying to be smug, really. It's just...I would never steal from my family. I would never cause them such misery. I don't know how he is able to do that. I think he doesn't take responsibility for himself. He blames our parents for his addiction, and for everything in his life that is wrong. He feels entitled somehow to keep stealing from them, he feels entitled to anything he wants. I think that attitude holds him back.
I think smug was the wrong word. More like self-righteous. I'm sure you're not meaning to be, but that's the danger of the, "I'll never be like them" mentality. Next thing you know, you're looking down and finding yourself in someone else's stinky shoes. It has a way of opening our eyes sometimes. I know. I've had mine opened the hard way a few times.
I don't think I hurt my family as much with my addiction. Mostly because I kept it hidden from everyone. When I finally confessed after a few years, my parents had no idea I'd even had a problem. I've always gone out of my way, my whole life, not to hurt my parents or cause them to worry.
I do think my brother is worse. I'm not trying to be smug, really. It's just...I would never steal from my family. I would never cause them such misery. I don't know how he is able to do that. I think he doesn't take responsibility for himself. He blames our parents for his addiction, and for everything in his life that is wrong. He feels entitled somehow to keep stealing from them, he feels entitled to anything he wants. I think that attitude holds him back.
Addiction is addiction is addiction.....Its a family problem. If you've attended any group recovery, you are aware of this.
I don't think I hurt my family as much with my addiction. Mostly because I kept it hidden from everyone. When I finally confessed after a few years, my parents had no idea I'd even had a problem. I've always gone out of my way, my whole life, not to hurt my parents or cause them to worry.
I do think my brother is worse. I'm not trying to be smug, really. It's just...I would never steal from my family. I would never cause them such misery. I don't know how he is able to do that. I think he doesn't take responsibility for himself. He blames our parents for his addiction, and for everything in his life that is wrong. He feels entitled somehow to keep stealing from them, he feels entitled to anything he wants. I think that attitude holds him back.
Answer me this: Did you ever think that you would become an alcoholic? No? We all do things in life that we NEVER thought we would do. I am not letting your brother off of the hook. But, you might want to look into letting go of this resentment towards him, as another poster stated. You may have to love him from a distance. Your parents aren't ready to do that yet.
And even though your parents found out about your alcoholism "years later", it still hurt them. Do you think that you are "over" being an alcoholic? That tomorrow, next week, next year, two years from now that you won't go back? That you may not get so bad that you may end up stealing to support your habit? I don't understand how someone who is addicted to a substance will say that they will never do something.
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