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Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,007,791 times
Reputation: 9418
I couldn't take it. I had to say something. I went to my instructor and told her I have to work extra hard to get where I am, I'm not being stand-offish, blahblahblah. She said she sees that in me. Ok. Then why all this? Whatever. But it's been smoothed over.
I had exactly the same problem as the OP - as a student being introverted helped me concentrate better on my studies - but social life and especially romantic involvment sufferred.
After a while it got old. I decided at a point in College that if I didn't want to be miserable for the rest of my life , I had to choose between studies and social life. I chosed the latter and stopped my studies (after my B.A., worth little on the market, I should have done at least a M.A. , even in those times-the late Seventies-) and entered the workforce. Never regretted it one second.
I am naturally introverted but I try my hardest not to let my shyness take over me. In past jobs I have allowed myself to be "the quiet guy" and my shyness came across as me being a douchebag who didn't care to speak to anyone and unconfident. When in reality I was just shy and afraid to screw up.
I realized that shyness is detrimental in building a successful career. In jobs where I was the "quiet guy" I saw new employees that started below me, surpass me not because they were smarter but because they got along well with the rest of the office.
These days I make more of an effort to make my presence felt, project confidence, and just get to know people. Just a simple "good morning" makes a positive impression on people and opens up conversations. Achievements and successes in all areas of life are based on how well you are received by your colleagues in addition to your skills.
As an INFJ, it sucks how being introverted seems to be a personality type that people try to change. Introverted though doesn't mean you are standoffish and cold. It really just means you enjoy a lot of alone time and that you find that when you are around people you energy gets drawn (hence time to recoup alone).
Many outgoing and/or extroverted people seem to group together those that are shy, quiet, introverted, cold fish, and unfriendly when they aren't the same but can appear similar.
It's a personality type and I don't get how it is a bad one and why being extroverted is seen as good. Some may say us introverts are weird, boring, uptight, but some may say that extroverts don't know when to ****, are attention w**res.
I do think though that being introverted has more disadvantages than advantages regardless of what The Introvert's Advantage states LOL.
People just want to be acknowledged as human. They don't want to monopolize your whole day. Would it hurt you to show you care about other people? We are a group species, you know.
I can appreciate that but like I said, I do my best to come out. I participate in class and do what's expected of me--except cut up. Besides, I'm not there to 'get to know'. I'm there for an education and I'm dead serious about it. I can't afford to mess this up.
You know, the nicest thing anyone ever said to me was, "You were hard to get to know. But it was worth it".
That is so weird cause my best friend said something like that to me...
He said, "You were like a castle that had a mote and drawbridge. No one was allowed in. Then you let the bridge down and let me in."
He said there is so much inside that the world is missing. He also said he was priviledged that he was let in to know the inside.
I think you are an awesome person. I read some of your deep quotes and such on your page and think, "dang this girl is deep."
I totally understand about the buckle down. I had trouble in high school while others breezed through. When taking a test, a kid would get up and put his paper on the teacher's desk cause he's done. I'm like, "Really?" I was on problem 10 of 50.
Hang in there.
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