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Just because you share genes doesn't mean you share anything else in common.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20
True...we're kinda expected to love our parents, siblings.etc more because of genetic pot luck. I think we do, as we love as kids, because they're a part of us.
It's not about genes. It's about shared family experience.
I believe an adopted child to parent/sibling relationship is no different than a biological child to parent/sibling relationship. It's because of the role of family that matters, not the genes themselves in my view. A biological parent that only provided "genes" and then nothing else is no parent to me, and a "surrogate" family that did everything they could to raise and love a family as a "real" one would is no less real at all.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stumbler.
It's not about genes. It's about shared family experience.
I believe an adopted child to parent/sibling relationship is no different than a biological child to parent/sibling relationship. It's because of the role of family that matters, not the genes themselves in my view. A biological parent that only provided "genes" and then nothing else is no parent to me, and a "surrogate" family that did everything they could to raise and love a family as a "real" one would is no less real at all.
Well of course, I think that's mainly what binds families together than anything else. That's why adopted parents, if they ever find their biological parents, still consider their adoptive parents their real parents and love them more.
I'm the youngest of four, and I'm much closer to my sisters now that we're adults than I ever was growing up. We're spaced apart in age, so when I was in grade school one sister was in high school and the other was married. We bickered a lot and we had nothing in common. Now, I'd consider them my best friends.
I moved back to be near brothers and I'm very saddened to find immaturity and selfishness. They have their own friends and interests and don't seem all that eager to include me. They certainly seemed to have forgotten me.
Well if you've found this not to be the case I'm glad to be corrected. I guess I'm partly basing this off my own family
It's never too late to make the change, as cliche as it may sound. Maybe it would be weird for you at the beginning to contact your siblings just because but later on it will be just normal. Give it a try and you are more than likely to get a good result.
I contact my siblings and parents no matter what part of the world I am at: email, phone call, webcam chat, etc. and in a week or two I am taking my parents on vacation with me .
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
It's never too late to make the change, as cliche as it may sound. Maybe it would be weird for you at the beginning to contact your siblings just because but later on it will be just normal. Give it a try and you are more than likely to get a good result.
I contact my siblings and parents no matter what part of the world I am at: email, phone call, webcam chat, etc. and in a week or two I am taking my parents on vacation with me .
I should have clarified. Not so much my own siblings, but more my parents siblings...they either seem pretty distant, with a couple of exceptions, of still haven't made up and are still kind of enemies. For instance I listened to my aunty complain a lot about my father.
is the relationship between siblings, brothers and sisters, undervalued in modern western culture? Like even in films, brothers and sisters are usually portrayed as always fighting/hating each other.
There's a reason siblings are portrayed as fighting/hating each other; because many do. As children, the only thing forcing many to get along, are their parents, who can't make them like each other once they're adults. I know a guy who lives less than a mile from his sister, and no more than 2 miles from his brothers. This guy has only spoken to each sibling, one time, in the last 18 months. And, that was on the phone, because they NEVER visit each other. The sad part about it is that they all have licenses, and own vehicles. Now, that's crazy.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just1Fan
There's a reason siblings are portrayed as fighting/hating each other; because many do. As children, the only thing forcing many to get along, are their parents, who can't make them like each other once they're adults. I know a guy who lives less than a mile from his sister, and no more than 2 miles from his brothers. This guy has only spoken to each sibling, one time, in the last 18 months. And, that was on the phone, because they NEVER visit each other. The sad part about it is that they all have licenses, and own vehicles. Now, that's crazy.
Of course, I mean I fought with my sisters now and then, but from what I recall we mostly got along. In movies siblings are portrayed as hating each other (of course I know most love each other deep down). This is indeed often the case in real life too, but it seems it's 'cheesy' to portray harmonious relationships between siblings, as if they're some weird religious family.
I think the relationship between siblings in the Western world is inverted. It is not about helping each other or promoting the success of our siblings. It's about competing with them and even actively holding they down. So the value in it for the Western sibling is twisted and completely warped and sociopathic. We value our siblings if they make us look good by being "not better than us". If they are better than us, we try and knock them down or are secretly happy when our sibling fails.
Sorry if this is your experience. It's not mine,though.
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Well of course, I think that's mainly what binds families together than anything else. That's why adopted parents, if they ever find their biological parents, still consider their adoptive parents their real parents and love them more. 
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