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I either ignore them....or do the opposite of Tracy...I listen to how their child has been accepted to a dozen Ivy League schools....I talk about how my child narrowly missed going to prison by doing substance abuse treatment instead. They talk about how much money they earned recently on hot stock....I discuss my support of an elderly Mother and daughter in college....and ask if they can pick up the tab since they are doing so well...."bartender...another round, and I want a top shelf margarita".
i'm talking about the ones who seem to be an expert on practically everything and do not acknowledge the input of others...meaning that instead of expressing an opinion they state their opinion as a righteous fact expecting others to align to it.
On some other points it's pretty clear that they cannot substantiate their claims (the language example I gave above) and then give flimsy excuses as to why they cannot live up to their claims.... they may also get defensive and annoyed when you put them in a spot.
My father in-law is exactly like this. It's gotten to the point that when my wife and I are over her parents house, I just have to practically ignore him. You open the conversation door with him, and all he does is spit out how he did this or that at one time, and some of it is a total lie. Unfortunately, I can't write him off totally. He is also unbelievably NARCISSISTIC.
And he pouts when he's put on the spot
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGem
They are expressing an insecurity, possibly an inferiority complex.
Why boast about being such an expert when you're not? It's to make themselves feel better around people they may feel inferior to, or people they want to feel equal or superior to.
It's best to simply nod your head and say, "uh huh", and don't bother getting too much in their head over it.
Exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly8
Don't show genuine interest in what they're saying. While they are speaking- look anywhere but at them. Inspect your fingernails from all angles, look at the ice in your drink, someone at the next desk or table. Say things like- really? you think? hmmm.
They'll lose interest in speaking to you.
. They do lose interest eventually, but it's painstaking at times.
Just thought of another example of braggart to add to your list: the "been there, done that" (BTDT) braggart. My dad calls this kind of person a "topper" because they always have to "top" you.
And example of a former friend of mine from college: any story you tell, she has already done the same thing, and did it better than you did.
Real examples of interactions with her:
I told how I accidentally interrupted a mugging, the muggers ran away, and I then helped the old man who was the victim call 911. My friend told how she had thwarted a robbery in progress, saved the woman's life, and was responsible for the police identifying and catching the criminal. But somehow there is no newspaper record of this...
I was all excited when I made spaetzle for the first time. She said she had made it many times before, but in the "real" German way that she'd learned from her German grandmother, who had also hidden jews during WWII.
I once (this was college, remember) drank 15 shots in one night and was not even sick the next day. I didn't brag, but sort of "exclaimed" at how surprised I was about this. She said she had once done 17 shots and then did a 5k run the next morning.
I went on a trip to Sedona Arizona and Grand Canyon, and showed my friend pictures. She told how she had already been to both places, and she participated in a peyote ritual with a Native American tribe at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. (I'm not lying...this was really her story).
This is one-upmanship. That person has low self esteem and always has to "one up" the other person. I've run into many people like this. Mostly, I just let the subject drop after they have had their say to let them know I'm not the least bit interested.
Be glad you do not live with a person like that. I live with a person like that and he starts off nearly every conversation by talking twice as loud as a normal person and talks like everyone is an awful fool. He starts to get very defensive by spouting off explanations or pouting when I state: "You know. That's something I already knew. I'm already familiar with all that. Thanks though."
Quote:
Originally Posted by DFOR
My father in-law is exactly like this. It's gotten to the point that when my wife and I are over her parents house, I just have to practically ignore him. You open the conversation door with him, and all he does is spit out how he did this or that at one time, and some of it is a total lie. Unfortunately, I can't write him off totally. He is also unbelievably NARCISSISTIC.
And he pouts when he's put on the spot
Exactly.
. They do lose interest eventually, but it's painstaking at times.
Mostly I ignore them but once in a while...I'll engage and try to shut them down. Depends on my mood, the topic and how many people are standing around getting bad info
I've had to ignore out of self-defense really. I work in a career field where people are supposed to be analytical, neutral, rational, factual based - and yet! they will stand around an pontificate their simplilstic answers to world problems based on nothing but opinions like every other untrained person out there. Drives me crazy but that's human beings.
If I find them so outrageous that it's funny, I egg them on and keep it going. If its just annoying, I excuse myself or sometimes make a jab like "that's a very expensive car...compensating for something?" in a joking way, that is fun as well.
Just act like your not impressed, and keep saying so what anyone could do that - point out what you can do better -just act arrogant around them, smirk, like your not impressed by them.
When they start talking about doing something, point out someone else or yourself who has done this easily.
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. They do lose interest eventually, but it's painstaking at times.
