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God knows, she won't speak to me. I've texted her a couple of times with no response. Haven't called...I'm too mad to now. I'm going to just issue legal action to her, give her 21 days to either pay me for it or return it.
People are in your lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. This dodo was in it to teach me not to lend valuables to "friends".
OP - one thing I have learnt in life, over and over, is that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. By this I mean, every single time I've done something against my own wishes for someone else, it has turned out badly. It's a matter of saying no. I actually forgot this with the fridge-thief, did something for her I didn't want to do - now look where I am.
God knows, she won't speak to me. I've texted her a couple of times with no response. Haven't called...I'm too mad to now. I'm going to just issue legal action to her, give her 21 days to either pay me for it or return it.
People are in your lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. This dodo was in it to teach me not to lend valuables to "friends".
OP - one thing I have learnt in life, over and over, is that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. By this I mean, every single time I've done something against my own wishes for someone else, it has turned out badly. It's a matter of saying no. I actually forgot this with the fridge-thief, did something for her I didn't want to do - now look where I am.
This is precisely it for me...I don't know if I've verbalized it in this way before, but yes, this is it. I've learned to trust this in myself but it isn't always easy. I always ask myself, what kind of person are you or do you want to be? From there, I act...but sometimes, even when you want to be kind, you know it's going to backfire. Silly fridge thief...that's just not cool but I applaud you for not messing around with her. Some people need to learn their lessons (even if they don't, at least you have some finality)!
A gentleman i had become friends with at work some years ago at my last job. We worked in the same complex and had similar backgrounds. Had long conversations together, hung out and it was great. He was divorced, And after a few years began dating his other friends 18 year old sister (He was mid 30's.) I saw less and less of him. Called one day after 3 previous tries and his young girlfriend answered and was a bit mean saying hes out and when he gets back he gets back. Cut to 10 years now and nothing. I tried searching for him last year but came up empty. i always wonder what happened to Jay after all this time. Hope he is well.
I absolutely have had friendships that have run their course! I think it's a sign of your emotional maturity and self respect to be annoyed by this man's selfish behavior.
If you can't call someone and feel comfortable having a good and well earned cry, NO it's not a friendship. He is an acquaintance. That is all. Did he know that your brother died? Why didn't HE call you?
Why should you drop your life every time he comes into town? You shouldn't.
This time I'd tell him that there are things that you want to do or are already doing. I assume that their are. And do them. Gas is also not free and I'd invite him to chip in!
Does he pay for your dinner? He should. If he offers to go - but select the place.
He decided to be an ex-pat in England not you. He could borrow a car from his parents or rent one.
What an idea!
He sounds like an entitled user to me. However if he's not, your change in attitude may be a wake up call for him in which case, he would ask you what is wrong. That would be your opportunity to tell him, as well as an indication that he is not entirely self centered.
If he doesn't, ask - don't say anything. He's not worth it. He will just look for another chauffeur.
I am so sorry about your brother.
First, thank you ... about my brother. I have realized that this person that I have been writing about is rather entitled and I have ignored it as he has lived far enough away from me for years. His parnets are getting older and his visits are more frequent. His sister has stopped lettig him stay with her when he visits and feels he has it too easy. His parents have money and father is always handing him checks when he visits. That isn't my concern.... him asking me to run around to an ATM to make a deposit is and I have stopped doing that as well.
Yeah, I have come to realize a whole lot about him that is why I have had to make the decision.
Actually, he never offered to pay for dinner.
Once he also has made snide comments about my pets when I told him I would not be running over to London to visit him because my elderly pets were my concern. He then actually simulated being hung around the neck by a noose. I let it go but never forgot it and I highly resented it.
People come into your life for a reason, season, or lifetime. Sometimes we grow and unfortunately our friendships can not survive this growth. While we all have faults and some friends are closer to us than others. What helps is to draw boundaries when people do things that bother you. Sounds like you should have told your friend a long time ago (in a joking manner) that you will need to collect a fee for tour guide and taxi.
I had a male friend who suggests hanging out close to where he lives and I politely decline his invitation everytime. I asked: why is it everytime you want to catch the game it's a ten minute drive for you and a 45 minute drive for me? No it's not is usually his reply so I say; thanks but I'm gonna do something else. I'm saying this because sometimes we can walk away from people without the other person even knowing what's bothering you or giving them having opportunity to work on the friendship.
All in all; does that person make you smile more than they make you frown? Maybe instead of walking away all together you realize that you are distant acquaintances.
Don't be sad. Sometimes when we grow we loose those who are not on the same page but you will pick up replacements.
I totally agree with you. I have not set limits on this person, at least not consistently. To be honest, I am not sad at all. In fact, I feel relieved that I have decided to not go jumping through hoops just
because he is in town.
In thinking about it... I don't see working on the friendship because the problems are personality and I really don't think he is going to change his personality to suit me. And that is fine. No problem.
Last edited by brava4; 06-20-2012 at 04:33 PM..
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I did.
