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So you don't get lonely then. That's what it sounds like. I, on the other hand prefer to watch a movie with someone else, even if we're both sitting in silence for most of it.
Really? I prefer to watch movies alone as I prefer to do most things. You probably enjoy other people's company -- I don't for the most part. LOL. I don't get the obsession with everyone trying to be social 24/7. Probably could ask someone to go to the flea market with me sometimes -- but what's the point? I'm not sure if I get lonely or not. I don't know how often you socialize and go around people but mostly I want to be around them for a few minutes to an hour and then I want them to go away. I get cranky when I'm with them for more time then I planned on. Apparently this isn't 'normal,' as I see most people act like they get something out of forced social interactions (parties, clubs, etc).
I
I actually break weekends down (in my head) into 5 "units."
Friday night
Saturday day
Saturday night
Sunday day
Sunday night
I can only devote one, maybe two units to being with other people, and the rest of the 3-4 units have to be alone time. Either that, or I don't feel like I've gotten a weekend, and by Monday I'm exhausted. If I have a weekend with social obligations on both days, I feel like I need to take off a day during the week, or I'll lose my mind or something.
I thought I was the only person that did this.
This weekend we are invited to three cookouts spread out over all three days. There is no way that I can attend all three- I would be exhausted Tuesday morning.
I used to eny those people who were never home, always out doing something. I have accepted the fact that I'm simply not made that way.
Oh, I agree. But if you're the kind of person who claims to not be social at all, to prefer to be alone 90% of the time...and then spend all that "alone" time online with virtual strangers, are you really alone? It seems like some sort of social contact to me.
I think I could go a good long while alone if I still had online contact in some form, but if I were alone in a cabin without the internet or a single soul around, I think I'd go crazy much faster.
In a very wierd way, its not 'me'. My friends who met me as Nighbird still call me that. Its who I've made myself. I'd very much miss the internet since its replaced the news and certainly the newspaper and as a souce of things interesting. I've been participating on message boards since 1985 as well, and I'm comfortable with them. I still don't really 'enjoy' chats since I don't like being stuck and reading at hyper speed. But its fairly new. I won't do Facebook or anything else which shows your name.
I've had some really bad times, and my 'name' is part and parcial of that, but nightbird is what I wanted to change and grow. So in a sense it is social but still detached from the 'normal'. The internet has been a great blessing, as were the national and international nets and even the local bbs's, for those with interests that don't fit in the normal run by opening up a huge pool of possible conversation.
that's your opinion and the opinion of a few others that online interaction counts as social time. To me it's online interaction and nothing else. I am reading this because I like reading and talking online that doesn't equate to me wanting to go out and socialize with people IRL. I don't.
This is very true. It's very different when there's a person there. Especially if your on a message board and decide in the middle of a message your are composing that you need to make dinner. Would you walk out mid conversation without excusing yourself? And these are about topics, where much of conversation with warm bodies involves small talk. I hate small talk. I'm awful at it. And with this, if its a post about some reality tv show you can't even stand the ads for and the person is going on and on, with you tuned out, its awkward to just *leave*. But on a message board you can pick and choose what your interested in, not just what's said.
I'd love to know some warm body as fascinated in history, especially my really interesting points in it, who liked to talk for hours about it in person. But even when I lived in a large city my history friends were all online so that's not likely. I think the friendships you make with people on the net are different because there is some deeper thing you share, and likely the main thing you talk about over starting with general topics and hitting on it later.
So you don't get lonely then. That's what it sounds like. I, on the other hand prefer to watch a movie with someone else, even if we're both sitting in silence for most of it.
As a confirmed loner and very introverted, I will do small talk at the store and talk with the neighbors, but hate having to spend time with 'groups'. We had the whole family together once a month before I moved, and I did enjoy it, but before it was over couldn't *wait* to go home and ignored everyone for a couple of days. When people are around, I usually wish they'd go before they do. I would say without hesitation that I don't get lonely. And sometimes when I go somewhere, like to the store, even if there are people around I'm not talking to them so I still feel like I'm alone in the building.
I've tried the 'being with people' stuff, but hated every minute of it and as soon as nobody was looking dissapeared from it. Maybe if they'd found things I was actually interested in and people who would have conversations I wanted to have I'd stuck around, but it was just the old standard being with 'people' crap.
Really? I prefer to watch movies alone as I prefer to do most things. You probably enjoy other people's company -- I don't for the most part. LOL. I don't get the obsession with everyone trying to be social 24/7. Probably could ask someone to go to the flea market with me sometimes -- but what's the point? I'm not sure if I get lonely or not. I don't know how often you socialize and go around people but mostly I want to be around them for a few minutes to an hour and then I want them to go away. I get cranky when I'm with them for more time then I planned on. Apparently this isn't 'normal,' as I see most people act like they get something out of forced social interactions (parties, clubs, etc).
I work as a cashier. I hate the job when I'm not talking to people. When I talk to customers and fellow employees, I love the job. That makes about 25 hours of light socialization per week. Ideally I would spend two days per week, for several hours each day, doing some activity outside work with someone as well, but I usually only get about one per month. I find joy in alone time. I just view socialization almost like vitamins necessary to my health. I need it, regardless of whether I want it or not...although I often want it too. When I don't get it, the alone time seems unpleasant. I don't like to be around people all the time. I need to recuperate. After one overnight group campout I got up early in the morning to go for a walk in the woods because I couldn't stand to be around people any longer.
But I think the reason people need fruits and vegetables is comparable to the reason why I strive to be around others. I'm sure people have varying degrees of need of this, and some people probably have no such need or very little need. I'm going to a bonfire in October, where there will be lots of noise and fire and alchohol. I intend to stock up on lots of social metaphorical vitamins.
It's nice to have friends and realatives, also you need time for your self...............Lets call it BALANCE................ you have to figure out what percentage, works for YOU............Good Luck!
I recently came to embrace the fact that I need my alone time. It helps me relax and decompress. My need for alone time has increased the longer that I live alone- and get used to it.
I enjoy some, As I see friends and my GF regularly. I sometimes if not doing errands, Seeing the boys or the GF just go outside and wander around, Maybe grab an iced coffee. I am busy most times with the above or work. My job is in one of the busiest areas in the world and i interact with large crowds so doing nothing for a few hours sometimes is relaxing.
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I'm not sure if I get lonely or not. I don't know how often you socialize and go around people but mostly I want to be around them for a few minutes to an hour and then I want them to go away. I get cranky when I'm with them for more time then I planned on. Apparently this isn't 'normal,' as I see most people act like they get something out of forced social interactions (parties, clubs, etc).
