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ever felt like you were born to the wrong parents or family? well i do...me and my mother are like day and night..which is fine, but its not fine with her. my whole life she has tried to control everything about me.. from what i wear, to what i major in, to what i do, and the list goes on. she is very forceful and opinated..my whole life she has indirectly told me how unattractive i am, how much a failure i am, how different i am from her.. her ruining of my self esteem since birth has effected my adulthood deeply.. she makes me feel like life isn't worth living.. or that i want to become someone else.. .. sometimes i would prefer no mother, but she has crippled me so much, i'm not a functioning adult..i've tried to get away, but with the economy i had to come right back and things don't look so up anymore..i just wish she was the mom people around me rave about their moms, about how great they are, and simple things like spending happy time together, or loving their mom.. i just want her to accept me.. but i know she never will.. which is fine, if she just wouldn't keep degrade and berating me about it.
i've tried to tell her how i feel but she just laughs in my face or talks over me and blames me for it.. i don't know what to do , if i can't even get out of this house.
Lots of people think that you must love your family, but there are times where that is not the case. Don't beat yourself up about it, it happens. You do though need to make plans on moving out as soon as you can.
Lots of people think that you must love your family, but there are times where that is not the case. Don't beat yourself up about it, it happens. You do though need to make plans on moving out as soon as you can.
Exactly. Some of us were just dealt crappy cards when it came to our parents. There is no law that says you have to love the people you share blood with.
I went to therapy for a long time and what helped me alot was: having a pretty picture of myself on the bathroom mirror. Next to it I have a note that says:
I am important!
I am capable!
I am F ... BEAUTIFUL!
It cheers me up every day. And reading it out loud helps alot. You are putting it a little deeper into your subconscious every day. And one day you might actually believe it.
I think it was about accepting. For me, it was my father. I hated him. He was never there, he was in prison, he beat my mom, he was just a bad person. I was very confused, it made me angry.
Society teaches us, love your mother and your father. We learn this from a very young age, from several types of teachers. (tv, church, books and so on)
Society also teaches us that people who go to jail, people who fight, use drugs.. those people are bad. How could I love my father, he was bad. In the mind of a child, it is very confusing.
For me, personally, I found this with acceptance. I accepted that my father was a piece of Moderator cut: deleted, I accepted that he was bad, I accepted that I could be angry and not want him in my life. I also accepted that I could not change him or the fact he was my father. He made so many bad choices. I could spend all my energy being hurt and wishing I had a great father, instead, I just accepted him. It was okay. I could love him and hate him too, with acceptance that I did not have to judge him or be like him.
Last edited by 7G9C4J2; 09-12-2012 at 04:26 PM..
Reason: Deleted vulgarity
Having a bad parent can teach us a very valuble lesson. It's that we can be different. We can be much better people because we have seen what being treated in an unsuitable way can do to a young child.
So, while we can certainly resent it.....we can also make ourselves better....give thanks for that!!
I go with the idea that we have a family of birth and a family of choice.
In my family of choice no one has the traditional roles (mother, father, sibling, etc.), but they are people I admire for their good qualities and we are accepting and supportive of each other. The term "good friends" doesn't quite cover my relationship with those in my family of choice.
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,982 posts, read 6,688,919 times
Reputation: 3689
Quote:
Originally Posted by Padgett2
Having a bad parent can teach us a very valuble lesson. It's that we can be different. We can be much better people because we have seen what being treated in an unsuitable way can do to a young child.
So, while we can certainly resent it.....we can also make ourselves better....give thanks for that!!
actually she makes me not want to have kids..because i feel i will hate them... i currently hate children because i see them as burdens, which is what i guess i see in myself.. so i'm not sure i want to have them anymore
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,982 posts, read 6,688,919 times
Reputation: 3689
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope
MIne's a cow, always has been.
I ran as far and as fast as I could as early as I could.
It worked. I haven't had her poison in my life for 20 years now and do I regret it?
Nup. Not one little bit.
moo! ..that cheered me up a little
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