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Maybe its me but sometimes I feel not always saying please and thankyou to family members is a sign of familarity, not that we don't do it at all, its just understood.
I totally agree with this. It extends to close friends too.
If I do a giod thing I expect at least that because its good manners and shows the person recognizes it. Other then that I don't expect the person to do a Wayne's world and say "I'm not worthy " or gush over it. Part of helping someone genuinely is not expecting a payback to begin with. In life its usually the small gestures that are telling in my opinion.
I do a lot of things and give a lot but never expect to be thanked. I notice some people get agitated when they don't get thanked for their good deeds like holding doors open, when giving a gift, helping in any way, etc. I always try my best to remember to say thank you. Sometimes people point out that someone didn't tell me thank you for something I did or gave. It doesn't phase me because I'm not doing things to be thanked. I'm doing things because they need to get done or they are just the right things to do. I actually feel a little surprised when I get thanked for whatever. What about you? Do you expect to be thanked for your "good deeds"?
Maybe its me but sometimes I feel not always saying please and thankyou to family members is a sign of familarity, not that we don't do it at all, its just understood.
Id say people more expect to be thanked so they take no response as a sign of rudeness.
I think you're right Trimac20 that it could be a sign of familiarity when you don't thank family members, and that's really unfortunate, because even though it's understood, it's still nice to hear sometimes, if not just for pleasure then affirmation.....and you're right again when you say that it's people who "expect to be thanked" that don't take kindly to not being thanked...personally I don't expect it, and sometimes will do things anonymously just to avoid it.
I think the day I start worrying about strangers or friends thanking me is the day I need to take up some new hobbies. I like being nice and doing kind things for people - it's its own reward, ya know?
I do a lot of things and give a lot but never expect to be thanked. I notice some people get agitated when they don't get thanked for their good deeds like holding doors open, when giving a gift, helping in any way, etc. I always try my best to remember to say thank you. Sometimes people point out that someone didn't tell me thank you for something I did or gave. It doesn't phase me because I'm not doing things to be thanked. I'm doing things because they need to get done or they are just the right things to do. I actually feel a little surprised when I get thanked for whatever. What about you? Do you expect to be thanked for your "good deeds"?
I don't make a big deal of it, but I would think I would be acknowledged for an act of kindness or courtesy.
Maybe its me but sometimes I feel not always saying please and thankyou to family members is a sign of familarity, not that we don't do it at all, its just understood.
Totally disagree. Please and Thank You are even more important with those close to you than with perfect strangers. For saying those words is an act of gratitude, an acknowledgement that those people exist. I have been married to MrsCPG for 21 years and we still say Please and Thank You to one another. And we'll say those things to one another until the day one of us dies.
If you lend money, don't expect it back. Just my philosphy.
JMHO
Same here. Only, with me, it's rare that I give it. But if I do loan money then I give a stern date of when I expect it back, because that person will know he's on the spot and not likely to ask for $ again.******************************************** ******
All in all, yes, I have found that I appreciate expressions of gratitude.
During summer our niece asked my husband to take her senior pictures. He's never been a professional photographer but he used to be pretty good, and was always asked to do family functions. So he did it this time, too, and some of the pictures were gorgeous. But she didn't like them, to our surprise. The pics were completely free to her, and she never thanked him for the time or anything. This bothers me a lot more than it does him (though he did say that he probably won't do them anymore).
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