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Clintone...it doesn't seem like your "sex drive" has dropped off at all....it sounds like your libido is still running in high gear..The fact that you enjoy and desire sex (but without any commitments) doesn't mean you have less desire than anyone else( nor are you abnormal)...One thing about being in a monogamous committed relationship Clintone is you can have fabulous sex frequently and whever you desire....also you don't have to worry about diseases, and all the experimenting you talk about, is waaaay fun ( and probably more likely to happen) with someone you really care about.
But OP said he never even kissed a woman......it doesn't sound like he's into intimacy at any level.....
I think you should just continue on the way you have. Experimenting would be cruel imo. Love is not really an explainable experience...It just happens, often despite what we really intend. You'll either eventually meet someone that you crave being around more than you crave your solitude, or you won't. Neither experience should cause you so much angst. If you are trying to find out what makes you tick, perhaps some counseling to analyze you're feelings that you are unsure of.
I think you should just continue on the way you have. Experimenting would be cruel imo. Love is not really an explainable experience...It just happens, often despite what we really intend. You'll either eventually meet someone that you crave being around more than you crave your solitude, or you won't. Neither experience should cause you so much angst. If you are trying to find out what makes you tick, perhaps some counseling to analyze you're feelings that you are unsure of.
That's why I'd be interested in seeking others who would also be interested in experimenting...the question is, are they common? I wouldn't be hurt, so I'm assuming there are some others, somewhere, who wouldn't either.
Clintone...it doesn't seem like your "sex drive" has dropped off at all....it sounds like your libido is still running in high gear..The fact that you enjoy and desire sex (but without any commitments) doesn't mean you have less desire than anyone else( nor are you abnormal)...One thing about being in a monogamous committed relationship Clintone is you can have fabulous sex frequently and whever you desire....also you don't have to worry about diseases, and all the experimenting you talk about, is waaaay fun ( and probably more likely to happen) with someone you really care about.
You're one of the brighter crayons in the box...
I care about just about everyone. I've been to strip clubs. I've cared about the strippers. I've complimented them and tried to flatter them, and they've seemed flattered, and I've respected that many of them are trying to provide better lives for their children. There are some selfless people amongst them. (I also liked their boobs...and such...for the record).
I merely don't like being around one person for extended periods of time. I don't care about how good the sex is, hardly at all. I want to learn about the person. I'm sure I'd be fine dating an asexual woman. I don't want to change for anyone, but I don't want anyone to change for me either. I want to learn about who they are, and treasure that, but I really don't like the idea of someone else changing for me, or I changing for someone else. That seems like almost, smashing a glass-blown sculpture, to access the pretty pieces (no offense).
I'd rather meet strippers, or porn stars, or nuns, or architects, or artists, and seek to understand them, then leave, having grown from the experience. Why would I want to favor one person over others?
I'm curious about why people want long term romantic relationships, and whether or not it's something you learn to want after having experienced them. This is the key reason this thread is being written.
I'm a 27 year old heterosexual male who has never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, or been on anything resembling a date. I've never had the urge to get into a long term relationship. Even during intense crushes I've never had the urge to be around the subjects of affection for extended lengths of time. An hour or two was usually sufficient. I've frequently desired to see such persons more often, but the idea of talking to one person regularly every day, or even every couple of days, sounds extremely unpleasant. A lifelong partner sounds exponentially more unpleasant. I've had many female friends and crushes who I've had pleasant experiences with, and most of them I've never seen again afterwards, and I can't remember one time I've seriously regretted not seeing them again.
I need people, and love being around people. I have excellent social skills. I also need an isolated cave, and love being in an isolated cave. Both are necessities. There must be some of each intermittently.
So, is desiring a lifelong relationship of any kind something you learn to want after having a long term relationship such as with a girlfriend? Is a long term relationship something men usually don't emotionally want (with anyone) until they meet the right person...in which case they seek it purely due an unemotional concern for their future, and wisdom that they will want it, in the case that they meet the right person?
Also, I have a hypothesis that during most males' youth, the sea turtle method works well. By sea turtle method, I mean attempting to initiate relationships with as many random women as possible during male youth, to learn more about the opposite sex at a time when most person's goal is primarily to learn more about humanity. I never did this...largely because I never wanted a long term relationship. If culture would have worked, during my youth, like it did several decades ago, at which time youth tended to have two phases of dating going steady and not going steady, I would have gladly not gone steady, but nowadays, everyone, regardless of age, seems to desire nothing but long term relationships.
I'm likely too old for sea turtle method, at 27, because of all the people looking for marriage and such, who want more than just random attention from some member of the opposite sex. However, I hypothesize that it would be wise to play the field, so to speak, like all of my male friends and relatives told me to do at 16, which I never did, in order to learn...
Therefore, does attempting to discover what it means to have a girlfriend...and why people want a monogamous girlfriend, via obtaining a guinea pig/experimental relationship, seem wise?
If the above seems wise, presumably, the best path would be to seek women still experimenting too. Therefore, how would men best seek out women who don't know what they want, or who don't care?
Most importantly, how would one best go about avoiding initiating such experimental relationships with women who do know what they want, or who want something more...and therefore avoiding the wrath endlessely spoken of in just about every song ever created with a female singer?
Thank you.
Not to be blunt, but how do you get off?
Do you think you need to see your physician for a hormone level check?
Also is there a genetic or environmental predisposition to your type of thinking? Can you recall anything like this?
You're one of the brighter crayons in the box...
I care about just about everyone. I've been to strip clubs. I've cared about the strippers. I've complimented them and tried to flatter them, and they've seemed flattered, and I've respected that many of them are trying to provide better lives for their children. There are some selfless people amongst them. (I also liked their boobs...and such...for the record).
I merely don't like being around one person for extended periods of time. I don't care about how good the sex is, hardly at all. I want to learn about the person. I'm sure I'd be fine dating an asexual woman. I don't want to change for anyone, but I don't want anyone to change for me either. I want to learn about who they are, and treasure that, but I really don't like the idea of someone else changing for me, or I changing for someone else. That seems like almost, smashing a glass-blown sculpture, to access the pretty pieces (no offense).
I'd rather meet strippers, or porn stars, or nuns, or architects, or artists, and seek to understand them, then leave, having grown from the experience. Why would I want to favor one person over others?
I think you might be coined a different kind of sapiosexual dude. Nothing wrong with that.
I think you might be coined a different kind of sapiosexual dude. Nothing wrong with that.
sapiosexuality Definition - The Unword Dictionary Example: Me? I don't care too much about the looks. I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humor. I want someone that I can reach out and touch randomly. I want someone I can cuddle with. I decided this all means that I am sapiosexual.
That is definitely a personality type I could see getting into a long term commitment with...gladly and gratefully.
sapiosexuality Definition - The Unword Dictionary Example: Me? I don't care too much about the looks. I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humor. I want someone that I can reach out and touch randomly. I want someone I can cuddle with. I decided this all means that I am sapiosexual.
That is definitely a personality type I could see getting into a long term commitment with...gladly and gratefully.
There are women out there that fit this category. By saying you would gladly and gratefully have a long term relationship with such a woman shows that you can see yourself with one person. The fun of sharing your personality, humor, and intelligence with one person who gets you is like no other experience.
I'm a 27 year old heterosexual male who has never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, or been on anything resembling a date. I've never had the urge to get into a long term relationship.
I used to think like you. I do date but just casual and semi-serious because that seems to be the "must do" thing for single guys. That is until I meet my current girlfriend that has turned me head over heels. So for your case, I guess it's just a matter of waiting for the right woman to come along.
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