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I agree. There is such a thing as moderation and tolerance for differing views and practices. I agree that the OP of this thread was probably somewhat out of line with his request, but I think the eye-rollers were also out of line for their over-reaction. Some of the viscious criticism of the OP in this thread is also out of line, an over-reaction. If one lady prayed over her food, the host and the other guests would have just accepted that without comment if they had had any class, even if it made them uncomfortable. Why do some folks have a need to force everyone into the same mold? Why do they feel threatened by such differences?
Being "threatened?" Seriously? If that isn't over the top I don't know what is.
The criticism of the OP is not "out of line." OP asked for opinions. The eye-rolling was just a reaction to an unexpected situation. She couldn't have possibly expected everyone to take part in prayer when it is a fact that many people don't pray nor do people have the same beliefs. That should go without saying.
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Last edited by 7G9C4J2; 11-23-2012 at 06:15 PM..
Reason: Removed unnecessary personal comment
I think many people on this thread are too thin skinned.
Hindsight is always 20/20. In an ideal world, the OP could have asked the host privately and in advance about whether or not there was going to be a prayer before the meal.
In an ideal world, the host could have asked if anyone wanted to pray, or to make a comment before the meal about something they are very thankful for - both are very common traditions and it would be nice if the host had enough social panache to know this and make such a generous offer.
But alas - neither party was sensitive enough to the needs or wants of others. Pity, really. So instead we end up with an awkward moment created by an inappropriate request - and inappropriate responses.
Since you were a guest you were way out of line for suggesting it. If I was there I would have rolled my eyes too. What amazes me is that you don't appear to be the least bit embarrassed about what you did.
The common sense thing to do in that situation is just pray to yourself. That would have saved you those deserving looks and gestures that you got.
Prior to eating, we had spent 2 hours cooking together to produce the meal. I purchased half of the food including the turkey. This was her first time preparing Thanksgiving dinner as she is a newlywed. After setting the table based on my family tradition, I suggested a prayer.
You would of rolled your eyes based on your beliefs, which is fine. In the past, if I have been in a place that observed customs, I would sit quietly or bow in respect. I wouldn't roll my eyes. Why would I be embarrassed? For a split second, I thought of praying to myself but if I did that, I thought they may have felt embarrassed.
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A simple, "we don't pray over our food, but you are welcome to do so". Would of been an excellent education. But now I know.
Last edited by 7G9C4J2; 11-23-2012 at 06:17 PM..
Reason: removed orphaned section
I think regardless that you assisted in preparing the meal, it is the hosts tradition that is followed. As a guest I have participated in grace in non-Jewish homes. It's their home, and I will gladly participate in their tradition even though it differs from mine. I would consider it quite rude to suggest we say "Motzi" in someone else's home.
At my home we don't pray before we eat-- and although I would be surprised, I certainly wouldn't be offended if one of my guests suggested we pray before eating...
I think it's all about respecting traditions of others. I will say if you want to pray in my home, because you think I pray the wrong way or not enough, you wouldn't be welcomed back.
Is praying over food considered invasive or polarizing? I'm kind of sad about it.
It is if you want it done at someone else's house. I was raised to respect the customs of my host/hostess and not impose my beliefs on them. Don't be sad...next year you can always change it. You host the meal and you can do the prayer
In my own mind, I just give thanks to those farm animals that gave up their lives to feed me! Wish there was a better way to create synthetic food that has the texture and tastes just as good as a steak, pork, chicken or fish, except to be a vegetarian!
Each to their own about praying before a meal!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MAXIALE02
I don't know if I'm just getting old or being too traditional. I was invited to a small Thanksgiving dinner tonight and when I suggested we pray over our food, the attendees shrugged their shoulders and rolled their eyes. This was just two other couples but I'd never seen this before. Is praying over food considered invasive or polarizing? I'm kind of sad about it.
It can be if the others at the table are not Christian. It would have been better if you asked the host before and in private. You just don't spring prayer on people.
Why do people get offended so freaking easily? I've never not prayed before Thanksgiving dinner. It's tradition...even though I'm not particularly religious I bow my head and say amen. If someone is used to praying before Thanksgiving dinner then I don't think it's odd they would ask the host. The host didn't have to act like they were an idiot. They could have politely declined.
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