Dreaded FB and a suprise friend betrayal

[oddstray]

OP, it sounds like you assume that she knew you meant this to be a private converation - did you actually tell her that it was?

[fallingwater]

I have seen this a few times as a bystander. I personally think when this sort of things happens its one of two things. The person is so self involved they actually forget who can read their newsfeed or two, they dont want the friendship anymore and its a passive aggressive way to end it. I have seen people make some odd ball post about someone and then a few comments down is the response of "wow...sorry I bothered you. I wont again." Everyone is quiet and the poster doesn't apologize or say a word. Pretty childish means to end a friendship. Sorry that happened to you OP, you are better off without her.

[FreeSpirited1]

I would assume any conversation I have with a friend to be private. If I wanted to post my in-person or phone conversations about my issues, I wouldn't have called.

Phone calls are not news broadcasts and there was no "dramatic news"; it was merely the derogatory comments about our conversation that was hurtful.

All she had to say was "I have to go and we'll catch up again another time". Why put me down? That is what, essentially, she did.

Her post read something to the effect of: "I'm such a good friend to my long-winded friend, aren't I?" Everyone knows I talk alot - no harm there, but it's the put-down comments that were pretty obvious and pretty childish.

Mind you, I have stayed on the phone with her for hours when she was pining over an ex and effectively this went on for months (!) and not once did any part of our conversation end up in anyone else's ears...it was understood, or so I thought, that we respected each other.

Guess I called that one way wrong. Like I said, other friends out there to make and I guarantee by her lack of an apology, she doesn't see herself in the wrong or that it was a big deal.

Oh, if the shoe were on the other foot, she'd be livid, though.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by picklejuice

So, what you are in essence telling us is this: I did unto her what she pretty much did unto me. Hmmm...

Do tell us why YOU did not take the high, "mature" road.

Or perhaps why you did not prefer to email her your feelings-- instead of basically putting them out there for all to see.

And gee, you pretty much removed all doubt as to whom she was referring.

That seems to be in conflict with what you stated your wishes to be (anonymous).

It all seems a bit hypocritical to this old Pickle.

I don't agree --- it's obvious the "friend" that isn't really a friend likes to make everything public -- so why would she mind what the OP wrote? Everyone could see the obvious so there's no need beating around the bush. I think it's fine what the OP wrote because it lets the "friend" know and it's also standing up against her bullying. She's less likely to play that game in the future if she's been called out on it this time.

For the OP -- yes this isn't a friend, time to stop pretending she is, cut off all ties including FB "friendship", and decide it's time for better friends and a better year.

[WFW&P]

Originally Posted by FreeSpirited1

I had a long conversation with my good friend last night - I am having a very tough time these past few months (OK, most of 2012) and we haven't talked in weeks, so lots to talk about. Her life is not in any particular turmoil, so she was being sweet and supportive...or so I thought (we are in our 40's, friends 2 years now).

The next morning, I see that she started a thread - while we were on the phone - in a more or less complaining mood. She didn't share any details, but painted in this bad light, putting herself where it seems she like to be "in the perfect light".

I am thinking I don't want to confront her but at some point, I think I had better let this one fade away.

That is the most blatant abuse of trust, IMO, to put any inklings of a private conversation on FB especially when you know the person (me) will see it and is already depressed and struggling.

Your opinion?

Perhaps you interpret you being a narcissistic conversation hog as her being sweet and supportive........so you thought.

[Kenion]

FB in general just seems to be one big temptation to just write your problems away on. Same with this forum. You know why we do that? Cause we want to be heard, most people always want to be heard as human beings. We want to be recognized... We want another person to speak up relate to our story or shed some light that they have been there before. Cause everyone as humans wants to be one step ahead of anyone else.

[jeneric13]

That's the funny part. She is tired of you complaining to a friend... so she complains about it to her friends! the irony!