What Would You Say to A Friend Who Says "Ah So" When You Mention Anything Chinese? (girlfriend, conversation)
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What he means by reiterating his statement after you make it an issue, is, he doesn't care if you think it's politically incorrect.
Instead of trying to find your needle of a solution to this problem in a haystack of potential comebacks, it's probably just as well to drop it altogether, or simply stop associating with him. If this type of thing bothers you, getting more friends might only result in getting more irritation. A hobby might be a better solution.
I doubt I would keep a friend like that especially since he continues to say it after you have mentioned it more than once.
Again, I think if the first "Ah So" was ignored, there is a good chance it is not repeated. Maybe the OP can ignore it the next time. I know if I am told something I say is not politically correct, I am more likely to say it again. Maybe only in the workplace will I obey the request (and that has not happened in awhile) for obvious reasons. Most people (even a left of center guy like me) are tired of the political correctness "police" and their exaggerated reactions.
It's our casual way of saying "get a life". There are more important things in the world to get concerned or offended about and the PC stuff is usually trivial. Of course, I avoid saying the big no no's that have become a part of our society (not using "n" word for blacks, "s" word for Hispanics or "k" word for Jewish people I obey 100% and mainly because I don't want to say those words). My point is we don't keep needing to add more or we will need to consult a legal advisor or a "speech guide book" every time we say something. Keep it simple. There are enough "forbidden" words already if you ask most people. Just chill and relax a little.
Chessgeek, I think you may be right about ignoring. When I tell Jerry about it not being politically correct, it almost does seem to reward him---like he's such a comedian and so fearless, not caring about being politically correct. So if there is just silence, maybe then he will see that it's not cool and doesn't add to conversation.
And I take enough yoga classes that attempt to teach me to be non-reactive, so this is really a good plan.
But---in my defense (hey, if I don't defend myself, who will? ), Jerry is trying very hard to date and find a girlfriend at the age of 62 and after 20 years of marriage, so I thought I should try to help him by cleaning up his act a bit---the Ah So may turn off other women. But it's his life, so he will just have to keep looking for a woman who enjoys the Ah So (got to be at least one out there, right?)
You misinterpret him. He is not saying "Ah, so." He is referring to the downstream end of your alimentary canal.
Is that you, Jerry? Didn't know you were interested in Maine!
To everyone else, thanks for your thoughtful replies. All the different opinions help keep this in perspective and allow me to ponder how to handle him and how to deal with life's minor irritants.
First of all, I think the reference comes from old Charlie Chan movies, he was an Asian detective, possibly the first Asian people had ever seen on TV. Whenever he "understood" something, he would bow respectably and utter, "Ahhh, soooo," and people sort of 'learned' that it was an Oriental custom, right or wrong. They didn't use the word Stereotypes back then.
If it bothers you, say something. Remaining silent is to be accepting (sometimes)
First of all, I think the reference comes from old Charlie Chan movies, he was an Asian detective, possibly the first Asian people had ever seen on TV. Whenever he "understood" something, he would bow respectably and utter, "Ahhh, soooo," and people sort of 'learned' that it was an Oriental custom, right or wrong. They didn't use the word Stereotypes back then.
If it bothers you, say something. Remaining silent is to be accepting (sometimes)
She already tried saying something and Jerry repeated it. She will try silence next. I assumed Jerry was in his 20's or 30's. I also know some older people that are not PC. It just did not get passed to that generation to the same degree and heck I am only a decade younger than Jerry (not young).
Chessgeek, I think you may be right about ignoring. When I tell Jerry about it not being politically correct, it almost does seem to reward him---like he's such a comedian and so fearless, not caring about being politically correct. So if there is just silence, maybe then he will see that it's not cool and doesn't add to conversation.
And I take enough yoga classes that attempt to teach me to be non-reactive, so this is really a good plan.
But---in my defense (hey, if I don't defend myself, who will? ), Jerry is trying very hard to date and find a girlfriend at the age of 62 and after 20 years of marriage, so I thought I should try to help him by cleaning up his act a bit---the Ah So may turn off other women. But it's his life, so he will just have to keep looking for a woman who enjoys the Ah So (got to be at least one out there, right?)
Just don't set him up with any Asian women. There are also limits to not being PC ! Good luck with the new approach and with finding more compatible friends, too!
Hmmm...By chance is he a fan of the late Peter Sellers???
He may fancy himself as some sort of comedian, and think that saying such a thing is somehow channeling Sellers.
Just a thought and benefit of a doubt.
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), Jerry is trying very hard to date and find a girlfriend at the age of 62 and after 20 years of marriage, so I thought I should try to help him by cleaning up his act a bit---the Ah So may turn off other women. But it's his life, so he will just have to keep looking for a woman who enjoys the Ah So (got to be at least one out there, right?)
