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It sounds like the real problem is that you don't know how to make friends an you falsely assume that strangers will randomly approach you to make you their BFF. It doesn't work that way. It won't happen that way at Bible Study either. People are people anywhere you go.
You have to start slow when making friends and be willing to offer up info about yourself. You have to be the aggressor somewhat to make new friends. You have to start the conversations and re-start them the next time you see that person. You have to take notice of things you have in common and talk about those things. It
s about bridge building.
If you need a place to practice (not Bible Study), try attending a few no-commitment meetups from meetup.com. Go, talk to a few people and if no connection is made, then don't go back. Meetups are a great way to practice with no pressure.
This issue really depends because problems can follow you and how you cope with things will be the same if you don't change regardless of where you live. A new place can bring new opportunity. That being said there is more to factor in with a move such as financial, school, and so forth.
The issue with friends other then more people in a different state what will be different? At school for example do you small chat with people and even ask someone to go to lunch? You said you are sick of church activities but what about other groups that focus on a hobby you enjoy?
The problems with your family can you communicate with them?
It sounds like the real problem is that you don't know how to make friends an you falsely assume that strangers will randomly approach you to make you their BFF. It doesn't work that way. It won't happen that way at Bible Study either. People are people anywhere you go.
You have to start slow when making friends and be willing to offer up info about yourself. You have to be the aggressor somewhat to make new friends. You have to start the conversations and re-start them the next time you see that person. You have to take notice of things you have in common and talk about those things. It
s about bridge building.
If you need a place to practice (not Bible Study), try attending a few no-commitment meetups from meetup.com. Go, talk to a few people and if no connection is made, then don't go back. Meetups are a great way to practice with no pressure.
This is good advice and spot on. It is so difficult to explain friendship skills because it is one of those things that once you got it, you know it. Also, I also think that people who don't have friendship skills are looking for BFFs for therapy.
A little back story: I moved out of my parents' house when I was eighteen and spent three really good/bad years on my own. When I turned 22, I moved back in with my parents to save more money to buy a house. I thought it was the worse decision in my life, because I never had a good relationship with my parents. It was actually a great decision, because I learned a lot about my past and how to move on.
Having said that, I completely understand where you're coming from and from my past experiences, I would not move until you have a better reason to do it. In the three years before moving back into my parents' home, I moved a lot, at least eight or nine times. They were for the same reasons you mentioned, and I know you're not me, but it's important to be prepared for the inevitable. Moving changes your location, not your state of mind.
Hahaha... That was part of my point, too. A move is a chance to reflect on your own part in your dissatisfaction and put your best foot forward in a new place.
It sounds like the real problem is that you don't know how to make friends an you falsely assume that strangers will randomly approach you to make you their BFF. It doesn't work that way. It won't happen that way at Bible Study either. People are people anywhere you go.
You have to start slow when making friends and be willing to offer up info about yourself. You have to be the aggressor somewhat to make new friends. You have to start the conversations and re-start them the next time you see that person. You have to take notice of things you have in common and talk about those things. It
s about bridge building.
If you need a place to practice (not Bible Study), try attending a few no-commitment meetups from meetup.com. Go, talk to a few people and if no connection is made, then don't go back. Meetups are a great way to practice with no pressure.
I can agree with everything you've said except the assumption that the OP probably doesn't have good social skills. We can't necessarily be sure of that from their post. A crappy family life, for example, does not necessarily imply a person will have a lack of social skills. I myself am an example of this. My lousy family situation actually made me more social outside the home, more receptive to others, and more aware of what not to do in relationships with people.
Sometimes a person is just a bad fit for their environment. The OP mentioned that s/he was told they may want to seek a church better suited to their views...maybe their world view is generally a bad fit for the prevailing local mindset. I've had that problem as an unmarried Liberal with no kids and no religion here in SC. Every one of those factors is rough for socializing here, but together they are lethal.
Then again, you may be totally correct. If so, what you said in support of that assumption is right on the money, IMO.
My aunt's husband helped me get a job at one of his company's branches in So Cal. It's a sales rep career job for a really good company. My aunt is thrilled to be having me move down there. I get along well with her and her kids. When I am with my aunt I feel like I have a family that does stuff on the holidays.
I have been super emotional lately because the thought of freedom from my dad and his verbal abuse and not having to take care of my adult siblings. My sister is 33, unemployed, was a victim of a sexual crime, and my parents have been financially supporting her and pushed me into helping her get her associate's degree. I had to sign her up for financial aid, help her make her resume, sign up and pick her classes, and also get the math department to waive her math requirement and now she wants help to get a job. My sister can't clean up after herself, doesn't take care of herself, and wants to rent her condo (she owns it) while uses that income to live somewhere else. Oh did I mention I helped her make friends and she even blew that one? My brother is severely autistic and is a screamer and every holiday season is out of control screaming and throwing things if he doesn't get his way. My mom enables them and my dad fills since he is a Christian and pays the bills he doesn't have to do anything more. Well thank God my dad financially supports us all, but he missed every other job in fatherhood.
I have saved up for my first month rent out.
For the first time of my life I can wake up and not be put down by some one. For the first time, I will have a family to do stuff on the holidays on. I can be in a city and do more of the things I like to do. I will be in a great job. I will have more opportunities to meet friends.
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That was part of my point, too. A move is a chance to reflect on your own part in your dissatisfaction and put your best foot forward in a new place.
