Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Recently, my boyfriend befriended a guy from college who is 23.... helped him get a job at his store where he met this girl. I have met and befriended the guy as well, but haven't met the girl. They had a two month relationship where she broke up with him and got back together with him once. He kept making statements to my boyfriend about how he would be the breadwinner of the union and that stuff, so I guess he was serious or something.
Anyway, she broke up with him. He poured a bottle of water in her gas tank. Now it's on facebook that she had to take her car to the shop and had to report vandalism to her insurance company because luckily she had full coverage. It's not really my place to tell her who did it and do hope it doesn't cause her premiums to go up or something.
On all levels, this is wrong. I have told him to essentially grow up because a two month relationship doesn't mean that much and that if someone broke up with him once, he shouldn't have gotten emotionally invested in her the way that he did. However, all he wants to do is talk about how hurt he feels and how you can't quantify a feeling with the duration of time. I guess I get that, but still seems like a bit of an overreaction.
What can you say to someone to show them a little sympathy, while still thinking they're absolutely psycho? I feel like he is taking it worse that his friends also show no sympathy.
Yeah, at this point, I am starting to think he is just crazy!! My boyfriend has taken him under his wing in a sense and is trying to help him to mature a little.
I am trying to explain no one wants to be with an immature needy person who cannot handle something as small as rejection. It's something that is part of life.
I don't think he's a terrible person, necessarily. Just someone who can't deal with himself. She broke up with him and his immediate reaction is, "She is a horrible person" when it sounds like she was trying to be legitimate with him that she didn't want a relationship with him anymore.
My husband has a "friend" like this and I stay away from him completely.
Thankfully my husband understands this and never invites the guy over or brings him home with him unexpectedly.
My husband tries to limit their contact to the cell phone (this guy does not have our home number) and restaurants if the guy insists on meeting.
Your best move is to keep any opinions to yourself and ask your boyfriend to limit or eliminate the time you have to spend with this guy. Your boyfriend and this guy can talk on the cell phone or meet but to please keep him away from you.
This way you are not telling your boyfriend who his friends can/should be but you are also not physically around the guy either.
I wouldn't want to be friends with somebody who pours water in somebodys tank.
pretty immature all right...could have been worse though, coulda been suger..I'd be curious what the womans insurance agency charged just to empty the gas tank. The water wouldn't really damage anything......some cheap methyl hydrate might have done the job.
Since you say this friendship is recent, I'd say stay out of it. You don't know enough about the guy to know if your input or intervention will change anything, but you do know he is capable of being irrational and vindictive, and possibly has anger issues with women. I'm not saying he necessarily poses a threat, but similarly, you can't be sure that he doesn't, even if the worst that could happen is water in your gas tank. Nobody needs that crap.
If your boyfriend sees something in him and wants to take a shot at mentoring a little, I don't see a problem with that though he should proceed cautiously. Who knows, maybe he can get through to him. But this young man's anti-social response to a breakup might indicate that he could be a problem if the friendship fails and the guy feels judged.
I'd suggest that your own slow, gentle withdrawal from the friendship is one foot out the door for your boyfriend... not a bad plan in case he does find this guy really is just a jerk.
Thank God she broke up with him and didn't marry him! Just planning marriage after 2 months is crazy, IMO. This sounds like the kind of guy who is very insecure, would be very controlling, and like the type of guy who goes and shoots his wife if she tries to leave him.
you boyfriend will soon learn you can't help anyone to mature. I would tell the man and your boyfriend that is anything like the water in the gas happens again you will report him to the police.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
