Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm going to continue the trend... I have 2 sisters and my relationships with them are very toxic. My younger sister is a lot like your sister. Once she lived with me for 4 months so she could get away from problems (specifically harassment from the wife & mother in law of the married man she'd been having an affair with) and start over. After 2 months, she still hadn't found a job so we argued. It happened to be on my birthday and instead of getting phone calls to wish me a happy birthday, our parents & her grandmother (we have different mothers) scolded me for being so mean to my sister. At one point she worked in a gentlemen's club (as one of those women who makes friendly with the customers so they buy more drinks). That job didn't even last very long. I finally had a friend at a temp agency place her but that only lasted for 2 weeks because she kept taking days off and she couldn't follow directions. She started hanging out in a neighborhood bar and she met a guy there. During the last month she stayed with me, I woke up one morning to find them both naked on the couch (this grown man lived with his parents so of course they couldn't go to his place). I kicked them both out. When I came home from work and let her back in, I drew the line right then & there... she had a week to find a job if she wanted to stay with me. Needless to say, she didn't get a job, even though they were hiring at McDonalds. I followed through and grandma paid for the plane ticket. She left me with sky high utility bills and I negotiated that she would pay me back $600. In 20 years, I've received $20.
More than a decade later, I was facing financial hardships and she inherited $30,000 from her grandmother. I called her and asked her to repay her debt and she flatly refused, saying that it was her money to do with it what she pleased. She ran through the money in less than a year, and even lent $3,000 to some friend. A few years later, when I was back on my feet and she was facing an eviction, she asked me in an email to give, not lend, her money. I got this missive back about how I should help her out and that she would do it for me. I reminded her that she never paid me back and hadn't helped me when I was hurting. She wrote back to repeat that it had been her money to do with as she pleased... can you believe that! I responded by asking her, "what makes you think your money is yours and my money is yours too?" I repeated that I wasn't going to give her a cent and she countered with "you can kiss my a$$!" It's been 6 years since then and I am happier to be rid of her. She friended me on FB, which I accepted, but I still have no other contact with her.
My older sister is self-centered and self-righteous... as if no one has gone through hardships like her. As I've moved around, she has never visited me. Even now, I live 4 hrs away with a direct bus service from her city to mine and she still won't visit. No matter how much I want to share our lives with each other and create a stronger bond (we have the same mother), I get rejection. I used to try and call her every week, but it was a waste of my time because she just talked about her life... I had to point out that she never asked me how I was doing. I now have limited contact with her as well.
I realized that I couldn't keep pouring my heart & soul into relationships that are like a bucket with holes in it. My sisters are in my family of origin, whereas certain friends are in my family of choice. I have become happier and healthier without them in my life.
OP, I wish we lived in the same area so we could go for a coffee and vent together!
Oh gosh then today my sister text me saying it seems like I'm not speaking to her. So I call her out. She lies.
Then my mom texts me asking why I said anything.
GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you not ask her why she lied? Nope. But you're mad at me for calling her out.
I am ignoring everyone. Good grief Charlie Brown...
Just don't get into a word war with them...they don't play by the rules. They enable each other and come to the table with already formed opinions. You will end up frustrated and angry all the time because it is truly unfair.
Ignore her texts. She's trying to bait you. Then she can run to mommy who will take her side every time. Seriously...don't play their game. Because, and I think this should be said, it IS like a game to them. They thrive on it and play it with whoever they can engage...you have to be the better person here, no matter how terribly hard it is. JMO...
I did end up ignoring any messages. Because you're right, there's no rationalizing with people who are being irrational!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
