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That's it. He made the money so he can leave to whom he wants. Wills are ok but IMO a trust is better. One more thing in many cases it's not a good idea to have joint accounts. Consult with an Estate Attorney to get end of life questions answered.
It's a lot was or and cheaper to get things done on the front end rather than a crisis moment.
Death, money,and family is a pretty difficult issue. I never thought there would be a problem in my family, but there was.
My mother stated in her will that the proceeds of the sale of her house would be split between the five children. I lived in the house with my grandmother, ex husband, and children. I had taken care of both my father and mother there and was currently also taking care of my grandma.
I wanted to buy the house, and everyone agreed. Then my sister who was named executor of the will wanted more money for the house. I could not afford it at that point. I was young back then, and thinking of it now, I could of had it appraised and picked apart all of the things that were wrong with the house.
I didn't do that, and every one was just so emotional. Our family was falling apart over money. I had to find a place to rent for my family, and I did not have enough money to get a place where my grandmother could also stay with us, so that was pretty awful.
The house finally sold two years later. I had to take care of it in the interim.
I had no idea my mother was doing this, but she left all of her life insurance to me. I was just as surprised as everyone else when the lawyer told us that. My sister kept calling and asking if the check for the life insurance had come....all the time.
I finally decided that I would finish paying off my mothers funeral and then split the money equally between us siblings to try and keep the peace.
There were three pennies left over in the account that I placed the check in. Looking back, I know that my mother wanted me to have that money, and I know she had a reason. Sometimes I wished that I had done what she wanted, and other times I am glad I did what I did.
I think that's why my brother and sister and I have said no matter what mom decides, we want to split everything evenly.
As it is, my mom has four properties, she gave the two lowest costing ones to my sister, then one to me, and one to my brother. I know she's trying to be fair, but as siblings we all decided to not sell any of the properties and to rent them out with a PM and then divide all profits between the 3 of us. We figured that's the most fair way to go until there is a need to divide things back up.
In a legal sense? Yes. When the lawyers get everything after it has been fought long and hard.
I don't know about the law in the states but over here the usual "simple" process would be that, if the other siblings have not previously received any substantial benefits prior to the death, then the money would be divided fairly equally. This is a oversimplification but essentially the way it would (mostly) work. The other siblings would have a good claim at least. Not sure if it works the same way there. If not, then the above paragraph might be the case........
It didn't happen in my family, but I worked for an attorney who handled estates. I used to see it a LOT. There was one instance where the family members were fighting over stuff like a nativity set and some Christmas ornaments. One family member accused the others of going in the house and taking stuff before it could be catalogued, because it turned up missing.
When DH's grandmother died, she left an estate of well over two million dollars. She left her one surviving daughter (DH's mother) her choice of the furniture, each of the grandchildren 50 dollars, and the bulk of the estate went to her church. Knowing her all their lives, they pretty much expected that, though. She wasn't on bad terms with any of the family members, either...her church always came first with her.
And you think you know more about this than I wrote? wow. LOL
Did you ever read Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen? In this novel, because of the way inheritance laws in England worked, the oldest son inherited everything, leaving his father's second wife and children by the second wife with nothing. The father had made the son promise to provide for the second wife and his children by her out of his immense inheritance, but the son and his grasping wife managed to justify to themselves giving them virtually nothing, leaving them severely impoverished and dependent upon charity.
No matter what your brother wrote to you, no matter what he did, you promised your mother you would give him ten thousand dollars out of what you inherited from her. I'm sure there were reasons why your mother put you in control of the money. But she also told you that she wanted you to give him ten thousand. And you found an excuse not to. Shame, shame, shame on you. Your mother trusted you to do the right thing, and you didn't.
It didn't happen in my family, but I worked for an attorney who handled estates. I used to see it a LOT. There was one instance where the family members were fighting over stuff like a nativity set and some Christmas ornaments. One family member accused the others of going in the house and taking stuff before it could be catalogued, because it turned up missing.
When DH's grandmother died, she left an estate of well over two million dollars. She left her one surviving daughter (DH's mother) her choice of the furniture, each of the grandchildren 50 dollars, and the bulk of the estate went to her church. Knowing her all their lives, they pretty much expected that, though. She wasn't on bad terms with any of the family members, either...her church always came first with her.
This actually happens A LOT. A family member starts removing things they want so they are not part of the estate to be split. Then they still want to split what remains, as if the items they took never existed. It is very common. It is also very wrong, it IS stealing. Some people will start taking things out when the parent is getting senile and won't notice missing things. Hey, mother's house keeps getting barer - where did that antique vase go? Oh sister is holding it for "safe keeping".
As far as leaving an estate to charity, that is better than leaving everything to one child and causing the family to split. It puts everyone on an even keel and if they want to be upset they can be upset together.
Amen. Caregiving, IMO, shouldn't be an automatic trump card in claiming a share of the estate. This is the 21st century, and children have perfectly legitimate reasons for not being at the proverbial bedside. Jobs, education, or spouses' needs will often compel kids to move. That particular child shouldn't be punished in the will for living their own life.
I find the "martyrs" who "gave up X years of their lives" or "quit a great job" to be somewhat...dramatic.
Caregivers do need to make boundaries. "I can only come after work" or "If you need X level of care, you will need to hire help or consider a facility. I have my own job/kids/marriage/whatever to look after." Most sane American parents should understand that, as our cultural ethics include a strong "You don't owe this to me; go live your own life" norm.
I'm at a loss as to why a child who feels his life is too full to take care of a father or mother who raised him would WANT anything from the estate. So the needs of the parent was not a priority for him when the parent was alive, but now that the parent has passed, their getting "A Fair Share" of the estate should be? Is it just the selfishness that was shown to the parent in life, rearing its head in probate court? Too bad the parent in their unemcumbered youth didn't feel free to slide the needs of that child down the priority list.
Every time one of us makes the trip to check on my mother, she asks if there is anything in particular we want after her death. A lot of her things now have little stickers on the back indicating who should end up with what.
One Christmas I commissioned a painting of the house we grew up in as a gift for my parents. I paid for it, and I know my name is on the back of it. I also know my oldest brother really wants it. And, I'll give it to him. I've never gotten attached to belongings.
One stipulation my parents' will contained is that if any of their children predecease them, their share of the estate passes on to their children, not the spouse.
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