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I completely understand what everyone here is saying. Child protective service did become involved and in talking with her, they dismissed the case and claimed it to be "unfounded". The whole family was supposed to go today to be interview by the detective handling the case. He had called last night stating he assigned to another case and their investigation would be postponed.
I can't say my sister doesn't have issues, that would be unrealistic. But my niece is more important, and my sister doesn't wish to hear what anyone else has to say unless they are agreeing with her logic of the situation. She has been documenting my niece's faults since she was 12 and never lets the past go for her to be able to move on. She keeps these documents (facebook posts, text messages, her personal diary's that she USED to keep). To use as proof that she has been out of control for a long time.
I'm the sitting in the background and hearing all of this, and saying to myself "WHAT THE H IS GOING ON HERE!"
Child protective services won't touch the case, and the police, well apparently it's not worth their time. With no support from them, I haven't a leg to stand on legally.
I don't know what you expect the police to do. Since the girl is obviouly sexually active now there is no way to prove WHEN she first had sex. I assure you, if she was raped 3 years later, there is no more evidence left so the case can't move forward. It's her word against her step-brother sadly.
Is there any way someone else would be willing to take her in, would you be willing to take her in? Sounds like your sister is treating her extremely when I agree she really needs someone who doesn't spend all day making her feel bad and like a liar.
Me personally, if I were you, I'd ask to have her stay with you. When she came I would say "I believe you, but sadly there is nothing we can do about what happened to you except try to pick up the pieces and move on with our lives. I want you to come live with me and you'll be safe from your step brother. I want you to continue therapy, and I want you to please stop with the reckless behavior. I am here for you, and while I believe you, I would like you to not take advantage of what I am doing for you. I expect you to continue to attend school, to get good grades, to help out at what is now your home here. Do you think you can do that? If you can't, please don't take advantage of me trying to help you get out of a bad situation. If you do as I say, things will be great, but if you betray my trust then you will not be allowed to stay here anymore, do you understand?"
If she gets better, I'd be more inclined to believe her, but if she continues on making trouble, then I definitely would question the validity of what she claims. I'm not saying she'll be better overnight, if she indeed was molested she'll need therapy and have good and bad days, but I think at this point open communication anytime she wants to talk would be best.
Have any of the other children been spoken to and asked if the step-brother did anything to them? Asked alone, one-on-one?
I am willing to have her here with me. The step brother admits to touching her breasts 3 years ago. She is the only female in the house other that her mom. She has a step sister that lived there at the time she said she was raped, and 1 of instances she claims the step sister was right next to her in bed as it happened. This is one of instances I referred to as not making any sense. How the heck would that happen and she not notice her sister being raped by her brother? I just don't understand it.
Regardless of what really happened, my niece needs help.
I am willing to have her here with me. The step brother admits to touching her breasts 3 years ago. She is the only female in the house other that her mom. She has a step sister that lived there at the time she said she was raped, and 1 of instances she claims the step sister was right next to her in bed as it happened. This is one of instances I referred to as not making any sense. How the heck would that happen and she not notice her sister being raped by her brother? I just don't understand it.
Regardless of what really happened, my niece needs help.
Yes she does. Regarding the earlier incident I think it's important to realize that a child reacting to such an incident in the moment is nothing like an adult reacting after the fact. I don't think there's a right/wrong/logical reaction to such a horrific situation. Best not waste any more time trying to understand it, there are more important issues at present.
I find it interesting that the mother is documenting "all of the girls faults", does she do that with all her children? (step or not) Doesn't matter if none of the other children are "bad", the fact is they have it in their heads that since she was 12 she was going to be trouble, so it doesn't matter WHAT the girl does because it will always be trouble to them. I think thats just messed up, no other way for me to put it. I imagine all this "evidence" was given to the cops, therefore they probably assume she is just a lying bad girl too, explains one reason they may have dropped it. While the step-son just looks like a shiny boy of innocence. The fact is we know the boy touched her breasts, and apparently that isn't considered damaging enough (though it very much is - imagine being 12 and being felt up!).
Have they considered paying for emancipation of her? Or putting her into foster care? Foster care for teenagers isn't that bad, especially compared to living where she is now. And if she is 15 that is only 3 years, after foster care they give the children till 19 to move out, or put them in group homes, and in most cases foster children get free state college all depending on the state. Foster home seems like a pretty good option, from outside at least. Very doubtful she would even have to change schools. Saves her a lot a heartache, and chances are she won't be speaking to the family after she moves out anyways, might be healthy for everyone to cut ties now. It really sounds like she is receiving no love at home, and she might be, but to me it sounds like she isn't, and if she isn't then at least she can have a foster parent who respects her and thats a lot more than she would get if you put her anywhere else. I've know amazing foster parents and being put in a house with other troubled teens might do some real good for her. Most of my best friends growing up were in foster homes, and they turned out amazing. And yes, many of them were given up later in life, its not uncommon.
Hopefully you take the time to discuss these options with the mother, it might not be the most "PC" thing to do to give the child up to Social Services but at this point SS might be a safer place for her.
So much great stuff has been written here. Many reps given.
She needs help, ASAP. Things like self-harm do not resolve themselves, especially when the environment in which they were born is still alive and kicking. Everything from the rape to emotional abuse, etc. thrives in dysfunction and secrecy. She needs a safe place and at least one "safe" person.
I am willing to have her here with me. The step brother admits to touching her breasts 3 years ago. She is the only female in the house other that her mom. She has a step sister that lived there at the time she said she was raped, and 1 of instances she claims the step sister was right next to her in bed as it happened. This is one of instances I referred to as not making any sense. How the heck would that happen and she not notice her sister being raped by her brother? I just don't understand it.
Regardless of what really happened, my niece needs help.
There was a letter to an advice columnist recently in Slate, where a girl claimed that her friend's dad touched her during a sleepover while she slept in the same bed as her friend.
I know I've read of other situations where a victim was attacked while laying in the same bed as another. The other person either slept through the episode or was aware of it but was scared for themselves and pretended to sleep. I don't think another sleeping person being there means her story doesn't make sense. It would make sense to a lot of victims.
You should get her out of the house if possible, but it will be very difficult to help her correct her acting out at this point. She may need therapy. Given the acting out, it's a fair assumption that she was abused in some way, but it's also possible that she's being manipulated by her current boyfriend to act that way. It may not be a result of the brother from that time.
Your sister is probably in denial of the whole thing, or has some kind of misguided view that it's natural or okay. It may also be that there are things she didn't tell you. Fact of the matter is, if the rape happened, your sister let it happen and is responsible.
Also the problem with rape statistics is that they're very unreliable in and of themselves to formulate any kind of real opinion. False claims are high enough that it's certainly plausible that she's being untruthful, but at the same time, there are so many rapes that go unreported. You have to be careful though, the SJWs would have you believe that if he looked at her funny once, it was rape.
Headed for disaster? She is in disaster. Her mother doesn't protect her. The family is against her. Why are you surprised? If were you I'd get her out of there and raise her in a healthy environment.
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