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A few years ago in college before graduating we were kinda friends for a short time - 6 months, I was regularly visit him and his roommate but weren't like BFFs. But I liked them so much that I wanted to stay in contact little longer with them than 6 months, but by then when he moved out from dorms I shared with him, he stopped responding to my emails, text, phone calls.
I was having trouble then. I was lonely and depressed, I did not have many friends them. But when i hung out with them I did not tell them I was gay and they seemed to lean on conservative, republican side that don't support gays. When somehow later, I dunno thru rumors learned I am gay, he stopped having as much enthusiasm about hanging out with me as before. Eventually he started to make gay jokes and later he flaked out. Still he because he played in band, he was little popular and I still shared some friends with him who were going to his band concert at public places. Eventually one later he left band but before that when i went to one of his concerts he kicked me out, upset what I was doing. I made mistake going there but still I was upset at what happened because with no other friends I did not want to sit at dorms alone. I did not have to go to his event, but wanted to sometimes because I knew people who were going there too. Unfortunately he did not care so I lost cool then and sent out to few people emails with photoshopped photos ridiculing him (nothing nude or like that) but still ridiculing. Obviously this outraged him for good! Two years passed and later when I tried to apologize and reconcile with him he either did not respond or threatened me. So we never patched up. Then another few years later, I moved to an apartment complex where he also now happened to move in. Fortunately he is not my next door neighbor. I just made friends with my neighbor and we are good friends and I am not lonely or depressed, or angry anymore. But that guy who ditched, now he recently tried to talk to me and asked me if I have time to talk. Obviously now that we share complex, he wants to be friendlier but after what he did to me I do not think I can accept this person back to my life.
I do not know how are most people, but I would have preferred 2 second handshake to years of silence because he did not want contact. I think of him as somebody who is narcissist and cadet, bully who does not act in good faith when it comes to disagreement and only thinks about himself. There was a good time to patch up things between us when I wanted this with him but he threatened me with police and I did not take this kindly. Now he wants to talk to me, before that he did not want to talk. Now its too late. Just because he thinks it is convenient or logical because we are neighbors does not mean I should warm up to him.
Well this nutjob approached me again when I bumped into him outside of my apartment. I told him to f... off to return courtesy but he insists I should listen to him. He backed off and I don't feel bad. Somehow I felt satisfaction like justice was served.
Maybe he just wanted to clear the air, since you are going to be living in relatively close proximity to each other. Maybe he feels regret for his action and wishes to apologize. You don't know that he wants to be besties with you; I wouldn't assume that at all.
Personally, I would meet with him once, and hear him out. It just seems like it would be less awkward, going forward, if you confront the past and deal with it. Maybe after the meeting it will be clear to you that you do not wish to associate with him at all, and that's fine. But you since you are literally bumping into him on your home turf, it seems like it would be preferable if you could do so in a mature manner.
He could also be trying to set you up to harm you, I wouldn't trust anything. And after this latest incident, I would really be careful. Let others know what is going on between you and this guy just in case something happens.
He may have matured and grown up some and feel bad about the way he treated you in the past. People do change a lot (or can) when in their 20s.
So maybe he wants to put things on a better level or show you he isn't the asshat he has appeared to be in the past. He may actually feel bad about his own behavior.
In any case, it's up to you if you want to be pleasant or not to him. If he wants things to just be on a cordial level (not like you would be hanging out) . . . that would surely be a lot more comfortable than having this black cloud of anger and suspicion hanging over him.
Geeze, Kyle,and some others here... people CHANGE...they have realizations about themselves...it is difficult
for straight men to deal...I'm thinking it was huge of him to say to another guy, let alone
a gay guy that he has offended and that has offended him back...to ask, Let's talk...was
it twice now?
Talk already...if you want to not like him after that, so be it.
If you made a mistake ... then, say, a family member died and you got profoundly deep into
your heart and soul and wanted to face your mistakes and apologize to someone...how
would you
feel if they never gave you that chance to just 'talk' and explain?
It's just a talk he is asking for...geeze, you may find out he was attracted to you
this whole time and was just acting out in the weird, childish way people do...
It takes time for people to understand their own actions.
I wish the world required people to just get a couple sessions of therapy..
And stop taking things so personally, realizing the other guy is screwed up...maybe
molested or beaten as a child by an alchy father....please, have some compassion and
just let the guy talk.
Well this nutjob approached me again when I bumped into him outside of my apartment. I told him to f... off to return courtesy but he insists I should listen to him. He backed off and I don't feel bad. Somehow I felt satisfaction like justice was served.
If it's been some years, it could be he's matured and wants to apologize for his behavior. At least hear him out. If you still feel the same way, tell him so.
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