getting older and having less friends? (socializing, acquaintance, neighbors, friendship)

[brienzi]

MBM summed it up well. Heed their advice!

Your young unlike us older farts and u will learn through life who your TRUE friends are.

Life and it's circumstances dictate who those friends may be if there are any at all. I wish you well in making friends and such, but my rule of thumb has always been.. your lucky in life to have 1 true friend at all...in my case it's my dog!!

I'm not that cynical right now my best and trusted friends are the guys i work with and I'll take it..

Don't lone people money and let your work and life take you down a path where you will meet new people and maybe lifelong friends.

There are some real con artists out there that take advantage of people daily and if it doesn't feel right..forget about it.

Keep your friends close but your enemies even closer! Good luck!!

[Wartrace]

I had a falling out with a "friend" I had known for 30 years recently. After the incident he tried to reconnect but I had reviewed our "friendship" and realized it was always about what I could do for him. I saw no benefit for me to continue. The guy is dead to me.

[Woodrow LI]

A person goes through life and at some point discovers that very few of his aquaitances were actually friends.

In our younger years we are not clear as to what a friend is we include Buddies, Pals, cohorts etc. While some of those may be friends not all of them will be.

I think as we age we narrow our concept of friends and redefine as more intimate than we did in our younger years.

[brienzi]

Originally Posted by Woodrow LI

A person goes through life and at some point discovers that very few of his aquaitances were actually friends.

In our younger years we are not clear as to what a friend is we include Buddies, Pals, cohorts etc. While some of those may be friends not all of them will be.

I think as we age we narrow our concept of friends and redefine as more intimate than we did in our younger years.

Life is a journey for sure and as we age it seams the years go by quicker and quicker and maybe having a bad
experience at the OP's age is a good thing.. like a lesson learned about life and what to expect in the future..

And agree that as we age the social circle that we allow into our space becomes narrow..because where not a 20 something anymore and select our friends more wisely..

[ohio_peasant]

While it is possible at any age to make firm and rewarding connections with people who are interesting, responsible and caring, it nevertheless bears mention that family-formation is a strain on friendships. As people couple-up, and especially as they start having kids, priorities shift. I've observed that so many adults with school-aged children have their closest "friendships" with other parents. The kids are the common-interest at the core of the friendship. This doesn't precluding maintaining connection with buddies from high school or college, but the immediacy of those bonds is vitiated by the intra-family closeness.

The "solution" to the OP's predicament is to get married. No, really; I mean this in no sardonic or taunting sense. Marriage brings with it a whole new group of married-friends, or at the least, facilitates continuation of connection to existing friends who are now themselves married. More importantly, with a spouse - who should be one's best friend, by far - other friendships become secondary.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by Woodrow LI

A person goes through life and at some point discovers that very few of his aquaitances were actually friends.

In our younger years we are not clear as to what a friend is we include Buddies, Pals, cohorts etc. While some of those may be friends not all of them will be.

I think as we age we narrow our concept of friends and redefine as more intimate than we did in our younger years.

Yes -- some people in high school and before had all kinds of "friends", others never had more than one or two friends because their definition of "friend" is narrower.

In high school and before, we're all less formed -- we're somewhat more blank slates, a friend might be someone to go to football games and dances with.

It changes in college because it's a time where you meet people not from your neighborhood or part of town so you make "friends" with more of them but you have college in common.

As you get older, you may have pals in the workplace but your closest friends may be spouse, family members, in-laws. Usually our social life change, fewer parties and dances.

[George Tirebiter]

ohio_peasant nailed it that one's spouse should be their best friend. This is the case with my wife and I.
One big impediment to continuing friendships as you age is that, individuals change and hopefully become wiser over time and the chances of two individuals changing at anywhere near the same rate are slim.
This leads to drifting apart, which also often happens to people who are married, leading to divorce.
As stated by another poster, there are givers and there are takers.
The takers are often easy to spot since they are usually attention vampires.
Energy follows attention so they will tend to take all of the energy they can from those that give them attention, without giving much in return.
A true friend will end up giving a roughly equal exchange of energy.
A true friend may not be able to pay a loan back in cash, but will make a point of finding another way to adequately return the favor.
One thing to also keep in mind is that many individuals are hesitant to trust others given the increasing amount of lies, deceit and cons that have been perpetrated in our society during recent years.
The number of parasitic takers has grown tremendously over the last few decades, with many of them filling the ranks of the so-called 'successful and wealthy' members of society, with an increasing number of people emulating them to also be considered 'successful'.
This has clearly impacted the ability to find individuals who might be worthy of being friends.

[Osito]

I don't lend money out much but when I do I know I'm not going to get it back and that's okay with me. I've heard that people who had a lot of friends in younger years sometimes lose friends or see them a lot less as they get older. For me, I just never had many friends and had less and finally none as I got older. My moving around so much in my teen years and being restless and wanting to move still pretty much sealed that fate for me.

[WildOnions]

You know, someone wise once said to me "never fall out with friends over money. If you lend somebody something, be prepared to never see it again". you have to let things go and learn a lesson - you'll be the better person AND eventually wiser.

[jrsydevil82]

Originally Posted by blueherons

The older you get, the less bull$hit you are willing to put up with.

I am the opposite-the older I get, the less B.S. I am willing to put up with.


Yes, I'm 31 now & married, I don't feel the need for so many friends. I really only have 1 close girlfriend right now. The rest are couples who both my husband & I are friends with-these couples are not people I could call at a random time to talk about personal stuff, just acquaintances who we hang out with here or there.

Before, I always felt like I had to have a large circle of friends-in high school and in college I felt like a 'loser' if I didn't. Now, I'm realizing that they were not good friends at all-and I didn't even enjoy most of their company-they were just there because of that need for friends.

I don't feel that need anymore. Too many people cause drama, are selfish (like people who will only talk about themselves & their problems, and never ask how you are, what's new with you, or pay attention when you talk about yourself), or like in your case, are always needing money. The 1 close girlfriend I have right now is better quality and will be there for me. That's all I need (aside from my husband, who is my best friend).